You can see here what I think is the wrong way https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33090580 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33090580 The right way, in m

You can see here what I think is the wrong way https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33090580 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33090580 The right way, in my opinion, is to hang around with real people who you genuinely respect and admire. Do this for even a few weeks and you begin to absorb not only their mannerisms, tone, prosody and pace, but some of their more subtle speech devices. If communicative kindness can be captured in any theoretical way it is probably by Jurgen Habermas's idea of communicative rationality [1]. The centrepiece is sincerity > don't say anything that sounds demeaning or hurtful to the listener. You cannot fully control that and shouldn't optimise for it. Especially is you choose to speak truthfully rather than tactically. People will infer what is not implied, and some will do so deliberately as an argumentative device to feign 'offence'. The trick is to be in touch with genuine compassion and attend to the wounds you cause when speaking well. > It also includes listening attentively to what the other person is saying. That is the hardest skill of all in my experience. You can "listen" on many levels. If there's a trick to that it's not splitting and allowing your mind to start preparing a counter/response before the other person has finished. Eye contact and physical proximity really help. Interesting fact: the word "conspiracy" comes from personal intimacy. To co-n-spire is to breath the same air as others - ie conspirators would have to be in the same room in close proximity (presumably whispering) [1] https://healthresearchfunding.org/habermas-theory-communicative-action-explained/ https://healthresearchfunding.org/habermas-theory-communicat...