> that sounds demeaning or hurtful to the listener. I'm guilty of all that at times. What works for me: - Priorities. I pick my fights. Not everything needs t

> that sounds demeaning or hurtful to the listener. I'm guilty of all that at times. What works for me: - Priorities. I pick my fights. Not everything needs to be a conversation. Sometimes I prefer email over conversations, because editing. You can't take back a half thought-through sentence in a conversation. - Tone. Sticking to facts sometimes comes across as lack of empathy, but I find it's the best compromise of all available options. Minimising mean squared error etc. > It also includes listening attentively to what the other person is saying. I think this requires some serious self-hacking and patience. I worked in cultures where you don't interrupt others, which occasionally leads to people going on pointless rants. I think active listening where you steer the conversation might help generate genuine interest. > How to learn all that? Practice in your head, in front of a mirror, with friends and at work. Pick your fights: prepare a conversation, limit the scope (topic and time) and limit the training session to that one conversation.