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Online dating is common but it doesn’t usually work for the average man. It will work for most women but most women don’t use it. Most men still need to find a

Online dating is common but it doesn’t usually work for the average man. It will work for most women but most women don’t use it. Most men still need to find a partner through other means like cold approach (terrible - it’s highly dependent on looks just like Tinder) or through warm approach (friends of friends, hobbies, social groups, etc. - this is where most average men meet their partners). The issue now is the growing number of single men. This number keeps going up every year and it doesn’t look to be improving. It’s definitely leading to some not-so-great side effects. (The number of single women is growing more slowly)

alach11 4y ago
> The issue now is the growing number of single men... The number of single women is growing more slowly How is this possible, outside of gender imbalance or imbalanced matching (i.e. one man in a relationship with multiple women)?
- bradlys 4y ago
  You’ve described all of it. I’d add in that there are more baby mamas than there are baby papas too. Men are born at a higher rate than women. (5-7%)
throwaway2037 4y ago
You wrote: <<but most women don’t use it>> First, do you have any sources? Most (Western culture) highly-educated women that I know use online dating apps. Second, as I understand, a major issue about dating with highly-educated people: Women (almost) always want to meet same socio-economic status or above. Dear HN readers: Read that last sentence mathematically: Greater than or equal (>=)! As women are quickly holding more than 50% of highly educated jobs (economically practical masters degrees and above), this creates a huge mismatch. See: Medicine, science, finance, technology jobs. (Commentary: By 2030/40/50, I feel a huge portion of medicine will be women. Great!) Real-world example: If a man is a public pre-school or elementary school teacher (middle to lower income), his chances to meet a high-income woman are very low in 2022. On the contrary, many (Western culture) men are happy to meet / date / marry women whom have (far) lower socio-economic status. "Sexy, not smart." In the classic (out-dated) cultural view, this is "big (male) boss" dates/marries low socio-economic status executive assistant ("secretary"). I have observed this is quickly coming to an end in the last twenty years. Real questions: (1) Whom are high-income male bosses dating these days? I assume: High-income women whom are breaking the glass ceiling for senior roles. (Great! I support these women 152%!) Or: These men date younger (and younger!). I have observed both in my professional career. (2) Whom are low-income/-education female executive assistants dating these days? I assume they are mostly single. Why? They want to meet high-income men, but these men are more-and-more focused on other (still rare!) high-income women(!). Final comment that is very (deeply!) personal: If you are not alpha-male or very high income, it is difficult to meet highly-educated women. Basically, they are "vaccuumed/Hoovered" (sorry: American English slang!) by other high-income/status or alpha men. It is so tough. Please, please, do not read this final paragraph as discriminatory against women whom choose these men. Dating is complex! Personally, my dream is to meet someone who is a science researcher (academic) with a low salary, but passionate about their work. Lots to talk about! Last: Please, please don't read any of this post as something negative towards women. No, exactly the opposite. I am more interested in how wealthly, highly-educated societies will rebalance when women hold more than 50% of educated positions (very soon in rich countries!). In my view, it is terrific that women finally have equal opportunity in my society. My mother never had these opportunities, but her daughters will finally have the chance for economic equality. Huzzah.
- bradlys 4y ago
  If you have the time to write this all out - you have the time to find the supporting statistics. Most women don't use online dating - they've tried it but they don't use it. This is why the apps are overwhelmingly male. (Anywhere from 2:1 (lowest I've ever seen) to 9:1 depending on region and app) High income women end up marrying their college partners. A lot of these gals meet their partner in college and never separate. That's how I see it for the majority of women I've known in SV. Exceptions being those who didn't go to college and weren't going to pursue a high income profession (or were but bailed on it) but inevitably chose it later. It's hard to meet these women because they are few in percentage and like most women - they don't go out to meet men. They might use dating apps, they might date a coworker, they might date someone in their social circle. So, you're not likely gonna meet them organically at a hobby or anything. It's a rough world for men out there.
  - stevage 4y ago
    Anecdotally, most women use online dating occasionally, but hate it. They go without for a few months then reluctantly dip back in briefly.

alach11 4y ago

> The issue now is the growing number of single men... The number of single women is growing more slowly How is this possible, outside of gender imbalance or imbalanced matching (i.e. one man in a relationship with multiple women)?

bradlys 4y ago
You’ve described all of it. I’d add in that there are more baby mamas than there are baby papas too. Men are born at a higher rate than women. (5-7%)

throwaway2037 4y ago

You wrote: <<but most women don’t use it>> First, do you have any sources? Most (Western culture) highly-educated women that I know use online dating apps. Second, as I understand, a major issue about dating with highly-educated people: Women (almost) always want to meet same socio-economic status or above. Dear HN readers: Read that last sentence mathematically: Greater than or equal (>=)! As women are quickly holding more than 50% of highly educated jobs (economically practical masters degrees and above), this creates a huge mismatch. See: Medicine, science, finance, technology jobs. (Commentary: By 2030/40/50, I feel a huge portion of medicine will be women. Great!) Real-world example: If a man is a public pre-school or elementary school teacher (middle to lower income), his chances to meet a high-income woman are very low in 2022. On the contrary, many (Western culture) men are happy to meet / date / marry women whom have (far) lower socio-economic status. "Sexy, not smart." In the classic (out-dated) cultural view, this is "big (male) boss" dates/marries low socio-economic status executive assistant ("secretary"). I have observed this is quickly coming to an end in the last twenty years. Real questions: (1) Whom are high-income male bosses dating these days? I assume: High-income women whom are breaking the glass ceiling for senior roles. (Great! I support these women 152%!) Or: These men date younger (and younger!). I have observed both in my professional career. (2) Whom are low-income/-education female executive assistants dating these days? I assume they are mostly single. Why? They want to meet high-income men, but these men are more-and-more focused on other (still rare!) high-income women(!). Final comment that is very (deeply!) personal: If you are not alpha-male or very high income, it is difficult to meet highly-educated women. Basically, they are "vaccuumed/Hoovered" (sorry: American English slang!) by other high-income/status or alpha men. It is so tough. Please, please, do not read this final paragraph as discriminatory against women whom choose these men. Dating is complex! Personally, my dream is to meet someone who is a science researcher (academic) with a low salary, but passionate about their work. Lots to talk about! Last: Please, please don't read any of this post as something negative towards women. No, exactly the opposite. I am more interested in how wealthly, highly-educated societies will rebalance when women hold more than 50% of educated positions (very soon in rich countries!). In my view, it is terrific that women finally have equal opportunity in my society. My mother never had these opportunities, but her daughters will finally have the chance for economic equality. Huzzah.

bradlys 4y ago
If you have the time to write this all out - you have the time to find the supporting statistics. Most women don't use online dating - they've tried it but they don't use it. This is why the apps are overwhelmingly male. (Anywhere from 2:1 (lowest I've ever seen) to 9:1 depending on region and app) High income women end up marrying their college partners. A lot of these gals meet their partner in college and never separate. That's how I see it for the majority of women I've known in SV. Exceptions being those who didn't go to college and weren't going to pursue a high income profession (or were but bailed on it) but inevitably chose it later. It's hard to meet these women because they are few in percentage and like most women - they don't go out to meet men. They might use dating apps, they might date a coworker, they might date someone in their social circle. So, you're not likely gonna meet them organically at a hobby or anything. It's a rough world for men out there.
- stevage 4y ago
  Anecdotally, most women use online dating occasionally, but hate it. They go without for a few months then reluctantly dip back in briefly.