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> It makes me feel very philosophical. Likely we had walked past each other every other week for three years with our heads down, or in the clouds, paying very

> It makes me feel very philosophical. Likely we had walked past each other every other week for three years with our heads down, or in the clouds, paying very little notice to the people around us. Past Channon had not the foggiest clue what impact an unnoticed stranger would come to have on her. Since learning this I can’t help but look at the passers-by in my day-to-day life in a different light. And no shame in getting philosophical. It may not have been time. Perhaps you were not the same person, or nor was he. In meeting at the right time, stars are aligned, it was the right time to intersect. Or perhaps a host of other reasons. There may have been better times, perhaps bounded for this success quite close to or at the time you didn 'meet'. And who knows what other 'success' could have worked out - collaborators in something, getting together when 're meeting' - we don't know, an individual's life's not repeatable, and that in itself is beautiful. It is indeed fascinating mapping and wondering, and probably applicable to a lot. But not to downplay the philosophical side, as that's important, and important the OP included it.

smeej 4y ago
I was getting philosophical the other day for the opposite reason, looking at all the things that went slightly different than they would have been expected to go, or that I had previously wished had not gone "wrong," but if they had happened the "right" way, we never would have met. I don't think Google's spying can help me identify those, but in the end I'm grateful for the winding path that led here, even if I didn't love it along the way!
- Archelaos 4y ago
  Think of all the causal paths since the beginning of the universe that led to your birth. Even the smallest difference would have resulted in what you are now being a different person, if you existed at all. Just one atom in a supernova explosion billions of years ago having a slightly different trajectory ...
  - cmehdy 4y ago
    With all due respect, we don't know that. Knowing this as a fact would mean provably demonstrating the degree of instability at any instant of the universe, essentially its whole trajectory in a potentially infinite (and at least incredibly high) dimensional space. It's just as possible that for a given person, molecules could have changed somewhere or even "bigger" events could have happened one or more times, and their existence would have remained. Automatically assuming a chaos of infinite possibilities with completely divergent universe is potentially reducing the complexity of the world and its countless smaller stabilizing feedback loops that locally do reduce divergences. Otherwise we'd never do anything for fear of spontaneously exploding or other funny things.
- ivan888 4y ago
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg
nonrandomstring 4y ago
Legend has it that Adam Smith (the "father of capitalism") and James Watt (pioneering steam-engineer and industrial machinist) shared proximate offices at Glasgow University and drank in the same nearby pubs. Apparently, no significant record of their connection exists.
- arethuza 4y ago
  Babbage and Brunel almost ran into each others in trains - Brunel coming back from a night out and Babbage running experiments: https://moorsidepublications.com/2015/07/01/babbage-gets-involved-with-the-railways/ https://moorsidepublications.com/2015/07/01/babbage-gets-inv...
  - nonrandomstring 4y ago
    Oh, literally ran into each other. "They were on a collision course and both would have been travelling at 40 miles an hour." What an amazing story. Thanks.
    - arethuza 4y ago
      I love the cartoon series with Lovelace, Babbage and Brunel: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/gallery/2015/apr/12/thrilling-adventures-lovelace-babbage-in-pictures https://www.theguardian.com/technology/gallery/2015/apr/12/t...
JKCalhoun 4y ago
That idea has always fascinated me as well — imagining each of us tracing out some kind of space-time path on a map. And with other's paths crossing ours. I want to be able to rewind time and watch the paths of ex-girlfriends I have lost touch with to see if we crossed paths again, perhaps in an airport, unaware of each other. Perhaps it would all be more depressing than that though, exposing the small, repetitive worlds we live in. For my part, I have tried to road-trip, travel more often than others in my family have done, tried too to expose my kids to travel when growing up so they can experience a slightly bigger loop across the face of this small planet.
- bombcar 4y ago
  I’ve heard that there’s something like a 50% that someone you know is at the airport at the same time you are - because people who fly know people who fly.
- Tozen 4y ago
  > imagining each of us tracing out some kind of space-time path on a map... Very fascinating indeed. Imagine all the near-misses, as well. Like you were in the exact location of a childhood sweetheart, soon-to-be girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, but separated by 30 minutes. Perhaps, if had waited 30 minutes later, would have ran into a dream woman, who would have been the perfect wife.
Tor3 4y ago
When I and my wife met for the first time we were both tourists, we both had never been to that country before (and none of us had ever been to a place the other had been), and we had exactly one day of overlap at this place and just happened to have decided to go to a particular spot at the same time in the early morning. And it's extremely likely that there would never have been another opportunity at any time later.
- lexapro 4y ago
  There would have been another opportunity with someone else that you would have fancied as much or even more.
  - warkdarrior 4y ago
    Way to destroy his marriage!
    - Tozen 4y ago
      But, it is the truth. Except, such can go both ways. There can be better or worse options that present themselves (to include beyond looks).
  - Tor3 4y ago
    A bit unlikely as I got married quite late in life! (And I had zero intentions of getting involved with anyone up to then) (In any case - this was a comment to a discussion about crossing paths with one's SO/partner at other times than when actually meeting - not about meeting someone else. My story was just one where it's guaranteed that we couldn't have crossed paths before - no googling necessary..)
MrDunham 4y ago
> And no shame in getting philosophical. It may not have been time. Perhaps you were not the same person, or nor was he This is a really good point. My wife and I often laugh about how in high school especially and college too we wouldn’t likely have been friends, much less good romantic partners. Both of us then were different people yet now both of us are perfect for each other. But back then? Likely not even friends.
weezin 4y ago
>Perhaps you were not the same person, or nor was he. Man this is really key. relationships is a skill. I don't believe in soul mates, but rather a healthy relationship is developed when two people have honed the skill enough to be able to handle conflict without causing irreparable harm, and enjoy each other out of conflict.
- greyhair 4y ago
  It helps immensely to have common goals and wants. My wife and I were very aligned, right from early on, concerning financial disposition and family goals. We got that right out in the open early. We completely merged our financial lives and closed on a house, both names on the deed, both names on the mortgage, a year before we got engaged. When we got engaged, we couldn't afford an engagement ring, joint decision on that, and one of her friends got up in my face about it, 'where is the commitment?'. My dear fiancee held her ring finger up against the house and said "this is the commitment". That common ground, those common goals, has made everything that followed much easier. Thirty years this past Spring.
ericmcer 4y ago
I don't really agree, if you sat down and talked with every single person you walked by throughout the day you would meet many people you clicked with, both on a friendship and romantic level. If the author was that outgoing they probably would have met their partner earlier, or she would have found someone she liked better. In other words I don't think who we end up with is some 1 in a million cosmic star aligning moment, it's probably more like 1 in 100 and many people would be as good or a better fit than who we end up with. The time you spend with your person is more important than some intrinsic value you both bring at the start.
- Karellen 4y ago
  Your love is one in a million You couldn't buy it at any price But of the nine-point-nine-nine-nine hundred thousand other possible loves Statistically some of them would be equally nice Or maybe not as nice but, say, smarter than you Or dumber, but better at sport or... fuckin' tracing? I'm just saying I really think that I would, probably Have somebody else If I didn't have you Someone else would do -- Tim Minchin, If I Didn't Have You
  - owenpalmer 4y ago
    Ew
- Tozen 4y ago
  Exactly. Many people don't realize, that the more people you are interacting with, the greater the odds are to finding what you seek. Probably this is more true for men, as oppose to women, as men tend to be more proactive. However, men still need to overcome any shyness or fear of rejection, to unlock such greater possibilities.
- autoexec 4y ago
  > I don't think who we end up with is some 1 in a million cosmic star aligning moment, it's probably more like 1 in 100 I suspect that you're right for most people, but those odds will be better or worse depending on the person and their circumstance. For some people, it probably is closer to 1 in a million, or could even be worse. Some go their entire lives meeting people and never finding one. There's probably not much harm in feeling a bit lucky to have found your person, especially if you suspect at least one of your odds were worse than most.
jvvw 4y ago
My husband and I are pretty sure we must have been in the same room at university on various occasions (we knew lots of people in common) but didn't meet until several years after we both left. I'm three years older and was four academic years ahead so think it is a good thing we didn't meet then - I don't think as a PhD student that I would have dated a first-year undergraduate!

smeej 4y ago

I was getting philosophical the other day for the opposite reason, looking at all the things that went slightly different than they would have been expected to go, or that I had previously wished had not gone "wrong," but if they had happened the "right" way, we never would have met. I don't think Google's spying can help me identify those, but in the end I'm grateful for the winding path that led here, even if I didn't love it along the way!

Archelaos 4y ago
Think of all the causal paths since the beginning of the universe that led to your birth. Even the smallest difference would have resulted in what you are now being a different person, if you existed at all. Just one atom in a supernova explosion billions of years ago having a slightly different trajectory ...
- cmehdy 4y ago
  With all due respect, we don't know that. Knowing this as a fact would mean provably demonstrating the degree of instability at any instant of the universe, essentially its whole trajectory in a potentially infinite (and at least incredibly high) dimensional space. It's just as possible that for a given person, molecules could have changed somewhere or even "bigger" events could have happened one or more times, and their existence would have remained. Automatically assuming a chaos of infinite possibilities with completely divergent universe is potentially reducing the complexity of the world and its countless smaller stabilizing feedback loops that locally do reduce divergences. Otherwise we'd never do anything for fear of spontaneously exploding or other funny things.
ivan888 4y ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjKFb-4t_vg

nonrandomstring 4y ago

Legend has it that Adam Smith (the "father of capitalism") and James Watt (pioneering steam-engineer and industrial machinist) shared proximate offices at Glasgow University and drank in the same nearby pubs. Apparently, no significant record of their connection exists.

arethuza 4y ago
Babbage and Brunel almost ran into each others in trains - Brunel coming back from a night out and Babbage running experiments: https://moorsidepublications.com/2015/07/01/babbage-gets-involved-with-the-railways/ https://moorsidepublications.com/2015/07/01/babbage-gets-inv...
- nonrandomstring 4y ago
  Oh, literally ran into each other. "They were on a collision course and both would have been travelling at 40 miles an hour." What an amazing story. Thanks.
  - arethuza 4y ago
    I love the cartoon series with Lovelace, Babbage and Brunel: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/gallery/2015/apr/12/thrilling-adventures-lovelace-babbage-in-pictures https://www.theguardian.com/technology/gallery/2015/apr/12/t...

JKCalhoun 4y ago

That idea has always fascinated me as well — imagining each of us tracing out some kind of space-time path on a map. And with other's paths crossing ours. I want to be able to rewind time and watch the paths of ex-girlfriends I have lost touch with to see if we crossed paths again, perhaps in an airport, unaware of each other. Perhaps it would all be more depressing than that though, exposing the small, repetitive worlds we live in. For my part, I have tried to road-trip, travel more often than others in my family have done, tried too to expose my kids to travel when growing up so they can experience a slightly bigger loop across the face of this small planet.

bombcar 4y ago
I’ve heard that there’s something like a 50% that someone you know is at the airport at the same time you are - because people who fly know people who fly.
Tozen 4y ago
> imagining each of us tracing out some kind of space-time path on a map... Very fascinating indeed. Imagine all the near-misses, as well. Like you were in the exact location of a childhood sweetheart, soon-to-be girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, but separated by 30 minutes. Perhaps, if had waited 30 minutes later, would have ran into a dream woman, who would have been the perfect wife.

Tor3 4y ago

When I and my wife met for the first time we were both tourists, we both had never been to that country before (and none of us had ever been to a place the other had been), and we had exactly one day of overlap at this place and just happened to have decided to go to a particular spot at the same time in the early morning. And it's extremely likely that there would never have been another opportunity at any time later.

lexapro 4y ago
There would have been another opportunity with someone else that you would have fancied as much or even more.
- warkdarrior 4y ago
  Way to destroy his marriage!
  - Tozen 4y ago
    But, it is the truth. Except, such can go both ways. There can be better or worse options that present themselves (to include beyond looks).
- Tor3 4y ago
  A bit unlikely as I got married quite late in life! (And I had zero intentions of getting involved with anyone up to then) (In any case - this was a comment to a discussion about crossing paths with one's SO/partner at other times than when actually meeting - not about meeting someone else. My story was just one where it's guaranteed that we couldn't have crossed paths before - no googling necessary..)

MrDunham 4y ago

> And no shame in getting philosophical. It may not have been time. Perhaps you were not the same person, or nor was he This is a really good point. My wife and I often laugh about how in high school especially and college too we wouldn’t likely have been friends, much less good romantic partners. Both of us then were different people yet now both of us are perfect for each other. But back then? Likely not even friends.

weezin 4y ago

>Perhaps you were not the same person, or nor was he. Man this is really key. relationships is a skill. I don't believe in soul mates, but rather a healthy relationship is developed when two people have honed the skill enough to be able to handle conflict without causing irreparable harm, and enjoy each other out of conflict.

greyhair 4y ago
It helps immensely to have common goals and wants. My wife and I were very aligned, right from early on, concerning financial disposition and family goals. We got that right out in the open early. We completely merged our financial lives and closed on a house, both names on the deed, both names on the mortgage, a year before we got engaged. When we got engaged, we couldn't afford an engagement ring, joint decision on that, and one of her friends got up in my face about it, 'where is the commitment?'. My dear fiancee held her ring finger up against the house and said "this is the commitment". That common ground, those common goals, has made everything that followed much easier. Thirty years this past Spring.

ericmcer 4y ago

I don't really agree, if you sat down and talked with every single person you walked by throughout the day you would meet many people you clicked with, both on a friendship and romantic level. If the author was that outgoing they probably would have met their partner earlier, or she would have found someone she liked better. In other words I don't think who we end up with is some 1 in a million cosmic star aligning moment, it's probably more like 1 in 100 and many people would be as good or a better fit than who we end up with. The time you spend with your person is more important than some intrinsic value you both bring at the start.

Karellen 4y ago
Your love is one in a million You couldn't buy it at any price But of the nine-point-nine-nine-nine hundred thousand other possible loves Statistically some of them would be equally nice Or maybe not as nice but, say, smarter than you Or dumber, but better at sport or... fuckin' tracing? I'm just saying I really think that I would, probably Have somebody else If I didn't have you Someone else would do -- Tim Minchin, If I Didn't Have You
- owenpalmer 4y ago
  Ew
Tozen 4y ago
Exactly. Many people don't realize, that the more people you are interacting with, the greater the odds are to finding what you seek. Probably this is more true for men, as oppose to women, as men tend to be more proactive. However, men still need to overcome any shyness or fear of rejection, to unlock such greater possibilities.
autoexec 4y ago
> I don't think who we end up with is some 1 in a million cosmic star aligning moment, it's probably more like 1 in 100 I suspect that you're right for most people, but those odds will be better or worse depending on the person and their circumstance. For some people, it probably is closer to 1 in a million, or could even be worse. Some go their entire lives meeting people and never finding one. There's probably not much harm in feeling a bit lucky to have found your person, especially if you suspect at least one of your odds were worse than most.

jvvw 4y ago

My husband and I are pretty sure we must have been in the same room at university on various occasions (we knew lots of people in common) but didn't meet until several years after we both left. I'm three years older and was four academic years ahead so think it is a good thing we didn't meet then - I don't think as a PhD student that I would have dated a first-year undergraduate!