4 ms·

You only need semi-structure. Walk the dog every morning. Take out the trash at night. Read for a little while before bed. Call mom every Saturday. The exact ti

by pugets 4y ago

You only need semi-structure. Walk the dog every morning. Take out the trash at night. Read for a little while before bed. Call mom every Saturday. The exact times and durations don’t matter and won’t be known beforehand. I made the mistake of trying to organize a master plan for how I would live my days. In my experience, it just doesn’t work out the way you plan it. Daily life is too chaotic. I now use a much simpler approach instead. 8am, 12pm, 4pm, 8pm. These are the times by which I need to get something done. For example, 8am: Walk the dog. By 8, it should be done. If it gets done before 7, even better. If it gets done at 8:10, start earlier tomorrow. 12pm: Fold the laundry. 4pm: Go to the store, call mom, read. 8pm: Make dinner, take out the trash. When you are comfortable with how many tasks you assign yourself, add more tasks. But don’t go crazy when you’re just starting off. Keeping one habit is better than flirting with five.

germandiago 4y ago
This works pretty well. A semi-routine. With certain flexibility.
notjustanymike 4y ago
Exactly! Flexible rituals, not rigid structures. In particular, the morning rituals should be designed to encourage some form of productivity and the evening rituals should create closure.
- personalidea 4y ago
  What I found with my kids was that the sequence is more important than the time. Their bedtime routine has been pretty much the same for the last ten years, only the timing has changed.
akira2501 4y ago
I found that planning my _weeks_ was far more valuable than planning my _days_. As you point out, daily life is too chaotic, but a week is something you can actually work with. I found the same to be true with dieting. You shouldn't plan your diet around single days of eating, you should plan it around an entire week of eating.
steve_adams_86 4y ago
This is in line with what I've had success with. I've recently written about it here as well – just a morning walk ritual, more or less. It has been transformative. It's an incredibly easy, no-tech, free activity which lets my mind and body properly wake up and get primed for the day. Some days I just wander for 15 minutes and look at the sun or feel the air and enjoy the moment. Other days maybe I'll start around 5:30 and carry on for an hour or two, then come home and get my kids ready for their day. It doesn't matter, and that's kind of the point. As long as I've made the time for it, as long as I get up and do it, I can feel it out and do what feels good. It means I'm always awake and ready when I start my day. There's no dragging myself to my computer or trying to keep up with getting the kids ready. By letting myself ease into the day, energizing myself with fresh air and movement, I get way ahead of where I used to be despite spending far more time "doing nothing". My other ritual, I suppose, is bed time. I get to sleep around 9:30, no matter what. Didn't work enough? Didn't make lunches? It doesn't matter. Just rest. I'll catch up in the morning after I wander aimlessly and find myself again. My wife doesn't like my early bed time (she's a night owl), but I've begun guarding it closely. The structure isn't much, but it's enough. Like the author suspects for themselves, I really do need it. Everything that happens in between is usually chunked into loose "get work done" and "hang out with family" – specific tasks are pretty easy to schedule into there, and I'm just careful to ensure there's little overlap. The boundaries of the day being clear makes it way easier to remain focused and ensure I don't end up trying to do everything at once. I suspect if everyone made sure they got good sleep and had consistent wake and sleep structure, so many other parts of their days would fall into place as well.
rejectfinite 4y ago
I gotta do this. My life is spiraling. And I have a job...
spearingthehead 4y ago
Like the author of this article, I have a bad sleep schedule. It's something that came about from over 2 years of unemployment (and still job searching). I kept a log of my job applications from last year. Going over them recently, I noticed that the timestamps gradually creeped up from afternoon to late evening as the year ended. I had a set "application window" of an hour but that window gradually shifted more and more into the night. I now go to bed very late around 4am and usually wake up at 1pm. For some reason I find it hard to give the morning a "greater purpose" when you don't have a 9-5. There's not much in outdoor hobbies that I want to do (or afford to do) and I clean sporadically, no set schedule. I feel much less worse being awake and inside in the late night hours than to be up in the morning hours with nothing productive, so I just sleep through those morning hours. My peak energy has shifted more towards the late night. Looking to see if I perhaps need an accountability partner. I am single and don't talk to close friends as much and even if I did they wouldn't be available most of the day because of their work schedules.

by pugets 4y ago

germandiago 4y ago

This works pretty well. A semi-routine. With certain flexibility.

notjustanymike 4y ago

Exactly! Flexible rituals, not rigid structures. In particular, the morning rituals should be designed to encourage some form of productivity and the evening rituals should create closure.

personalidea 4y ago
What I found with my kids was that the sequence is more important than the time. Their bedtime routine has been pretty much the same for the last ten years, only the timing has changed.

akira2501 4y ago

I found that planning my _weeks_ was far more valuable than planning my _days_. As you point out, daily life is too chaotic, but a week is something you can actually work with. I found the same to be true with dieting. You shouldn't plan your diet around single days of eating, you should plan it around an entire week of eating.

steve_adams_86 4y ago

This is in line with what I've had success with. I've recently written about it here as well – just a morning walk ritual, more or less. It has been transformative. It's an incredibly easy, no-tech, free activity which lets my mind and body properly wake up and get primed for the day. Some days I just wander for 15 minutes and look at the sun or feel the air and enjoy the moment. Other days maybe I'll start around 5:30 and carry on for an hour or two, then come home and get my kids ready for their day. It doesn't matter, and that's kind of the point. As long as I've made the time for it, as long as I get up and do it, I can feel it out and do what feels good. It means I'm always awake and ready when I start my day. There's no dragging myself to my computer or trying to keep up with getting the kids ready. By letting myself ease into the day, energizing myself with fresh air and movement, I get way ahead of where I used to be despite spending far more time "doing nothing". My other ritual, I suppose, is bed time. I get to sleep around 9:30, no matter what. Didn't work enough? Didn't make lunches? It doesn't matter. Just rest. I'll catch up in the morning after I wander aimlessly and find myself again. My wife doesn't like my early bed time (she's a night owl), but I've begun guarding it closely. The structure isn't much, but it's enough. Like the author suspects for themselves, I really do need it. Everything that happens in between is usually chunked into loose "get work done" and "hang out with family" – specific tasks are pretty easy to schedule into there, and I'm just careful to ensure there's little overlap. The boundaries of the day being clear makes it way easier to remain focused and ensure I don't end up trying to do everything at once. I suspect if everyone made sure they got good sleep and had consistent wake and sleep structure, so many other parts of their days would fall into place as well.

rejectfinite 4y ago

I gotta do this. My life is spiraling. And I have a job...

spearingthehead 4y ago

Like the author of this article, I have a bad sleep schedule. It's something that came about from over 2 years of unemployment (and still job searching). I kept a log of my job applications from last year. Going over them recently, I noticed that the timestamps gradually creeped up from afternoon to late evening as the year ended. I had a set "application window" of an hour but that window gradually shifted more and more into the night. I now go to bed very late around 4am and usually wake up at 1pm. For some reason I find it hard to give the morning a "greater purpose" when you don't have a 9-5. There's not much in outdoor hobbies that I want to do (or afford to do) and I clean sporadically, no set schedule. I feel much less worse being awake and inside in the late night hours than to be up in the morning hours with nothing productive, so I just sleep through those morning hours. My peak energy has shifted more towards the late night. Looking to see if I perhaps need an accountability partner. I am single and don't talk to close friends as much and even if I did they wouldn't be available most of the day because of their work schedules.