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The ugly truth is that this is how the core dating game works. Men desire a beautiful woman. Women desire a wealthy man. Women are able to signal their appea
by pphysch 4y ago
The ugly truth is that this is how the core dating game works.
Men desire a beautiful woman. Women desire a wealthy man.
Women are able to signal their appearance by uploading pictures. Men are able to (more credibly) signal their wealth through otherwise pointless IAPs.
I'm not saying Hinge's system is perfect or good or even worth anyone's time, but it is a more honest portrayal of "the game" than putting both sexes on equal footing.
- maerF0x0 4y agoWomen desire _more_ than a wealthy man. They also preferentially select for "masculinity"[1]. So while a rose / perks signal wealth, At least anecdotally women also seem to have a bit of a resentment/disdain for using apps at all. They want a man with the "balls" (so to speak) to approach her, talk to her, not be afraid of rejection, have options but choose her[2]. So long as you can express enough of these signals, wealth beyond her income level won't be a deal breaker. [1]: please just forgive this term as a stand in for the personality traits that express in people with sufficient testosterone and success as defined by the society. [2]: this point is just common sense across all genders... having options but choosing one is a form of backing for a compliment. Choosing her out of a pool of no one else is not flattery, it's desperation.
- pphysch 4y agoAnd men also desire more than just a beautiful woman. But these are the single best indicators, evolutionarily speaking. Wealth historically indicates hard work or power, which in turn indicate masculine traits. Beauty historically indicates good health (childbearing) and self-care, which in turn indicate feminine traits. These indicators can definitely be gamed, but they define the game for a reason.
- standardUser 4y agoThat's a lot of words and odd formatting just to say that "women dig confidence". But it is of course very true!
- maerF0x0 4y agoa lot of the words were in attempts to prevent HN downvotes and/or cancellation from the mobs that exist in my various circles.
- bsuvc 4y ago> [1]: please just forgive this term as a stand in for the personality traits that express in people with sufficient testosterone and success as defined by the society What a world we live in, where people have to apologize for using the correct word to describe something.
- standardUser 4y agoI'm in my 40's and have dated a lot and been in many relationships and I have never experienced the "women desire a wealthy man" myth that you state as fact.
- pphysch 4y agoWhat do you think is a better trait, and how do you signal it over the Internet?
- sosborn 4y agoMost women I know will talk for days about the many creepy and misogynistic messages they receive daily on these platforms. All they really desire is a normal conversation with someone that doesn't creep them out.
- BlargMcLarg 4y agoThere is more than one perspective to every story.
- klyrs 4y agoA man calls me a bitch for not being enthralled by a dick pic he sent after saying "what's up" and nothing else. What's his perspective and why should I care?
- BlargMcLarg 4y ago"Why should I, as victim of this extreme example, primarily vested in myself, care about the other perspective?" You shouldn't. But as a third party, I will absolutely be skeptical of all the women who "meet creepy men on the daily" and continue to be passive and use those services. As for the original point. It wouldn't be the first time a woman covered herself by calling the other creepy over something minor. It's not exactly an unknown thing for humans to cover their own flaws and misjudgments by blaming the other party, man or woman.
- pessimizer 4y agoBuying internet gold on a dating site isn't a sign of dominance, sadly. It's a sign of weakness.