When I moved from Canada to the Bay area I thought, and everyone said, that they (friends, family) would come visit. Spoiler: I got 2 visits in 8 years, both by

When I moved from Canada to the Bay area I thought, and everyone said, that they (friends, family) would come visit. Spoiler: I got 2 visits in 8 years, both by my mom. This despite me going back to see varying people roughly twice per year. I've sadly learned that many of those relationships are a one way street of convenience. They're happy to see me when I come, to walk down memory lane. But they'll never put in the effort to come see me. Sadly this realization has been the demise of many of those relationships that I was carrying. The difficulty of replacing the depth of relationships you have is a cost that few immigrants realize until "too late"[1], and making new ones is quite difficult because many people who remain in their place/culture will be reasonably satisfied by the quantity/quality of their relationships and thusly not really that open to starting new ones. This is one that that (at one time) made the bay area pretty special, maybe true of Austin now, it's _full_ of people from someonewhere else who are in the same situation -- looking to replace lost relationships and unable to break into calcified cliques. [1] yeah yeah pedantic HN it's not to late unless your both dead, sure. But it's also awkward af to sit in a room with a friend you havent seen in 10 years and be like "oh what's your wife's name?" (and he gives you a smile "we've been married for 6 years, how can you not know <Jane>'s name?" or similar idea with their kids. You'll come to find their world has moved on and changed, and what you had is just a nice memory.