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Is it common for children to have imaginary friends in general?

by sedeki 4y ago

hnbad 4y ago
I'm autistic and never had imaginary friends but nobody I ever knew in my life (including classmates in school) had imaginary friends. I mostly learned about the concept as a horror movie trope in my teenage years. My grandmother insisted on vividly remembering an imaginary childhood friend she would later reinterpret as a ghost. I'm not yet fully convinced it's a part of "healthy play" and not a coping mechanism for early childhood trauma (especially given how widely accepted and common a lot of trauma-inducing behavior still is in modern parenting, not to mention how socially isolating the modern family structure can be).
- fsiefken 4y ago
  Hi, not everybody talks about having an imaginary friend. A friend of mine not only has an imaginary friend but a complete paracosm since early childhood. The paracosm is still maintained through imagination and writing and a very personal matter, furthermore the person has an internal dialogue going to discuss issues. I sometimes overhear my friend talking (not to the imaginary friend, but to a copy of himself); appearently it's helpful. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/smarter-living/benefits-of-talking-to-yourself-self-talk.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/smarter-living/benefits-o... As far as I can tell it's not trauma induced, the person is neurodivergent though, intelligent, a good parent, counselor and has a healthy and developed ego. We sometimes speculate about the parallels with a religious outlook as it's a personally experienced living and breathing reality (I'm a bit jealous of), there is no claim to an objective reality apart from our consensus reality. About paracosm: "The creator of a paracosm has a complex and deeply felt relationship with this subjective universe, which may incorporate real-world or imaginary characters and conventions. Commonly having its own geography, history, and language, it is an experience that is often developed during childhood and continues over a long period of time, months or even years, as a sophisticated reality that can last into adulthood.[1]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm
- xyzzy_plugh 4y ago
  I am not autistic and had an imaginary friend when I was little, maybe around 5 years old. I don't know if any of my classmates had imaginary friends, it's not exactly water-cooler conversation for toddlers, but more importantly my friends wouldn't know this about me. So, your anecdote and belief of relation to trauma doesn't align with my experience. I'm not yet fully convinced there is anything unhealthy about imaginary friends or that trauma plays a role at all.
  - mmcgaha 4y ago
    First off, love your user name. When you had an imaginary friend, did you know that they were imaginary? I had toys that I talked to and played out scenarios with so I am wondering if they are equivalent.
lucozade 4y ago
> Is it common for children to have imaginary friends in general? A quick Google seems to suggest it's in the 50-65% range for 7 year olds. The article states that it's less prevalent for autistic children.
stefantalpalaru 4y ago

Is it common for children to have imaginary friends in general?

by sedeki 4y ago

Is it common for children to have imaginary friends in general?

I'm autistic and never had imaginary friends but nobody I ever knew in my life (including classmates in school) had imaginary friends. I mostly learned about the concept as a horror movie trope in my teenage years. My grandmother insisted on vividly remembering an imaginary childhood friend she would later reinterpret as a ghost. I'm not yet fully convinced it's a part of "healthy play" and not a coping mechanism for early childhood trauma (especially given how widely accepted and common a lot of trauma-inducing behavior still is in modern parenting, not to mention how socially isolating the modern family structure can be).

fsiefken 4y ago
Hi, not everybody talks about having an imaginary friend. A friend of mine not only has an imaginary friend but a complete paracosm since early childhood. The paracosm is still maintained through imagination and writing and a very personal matter, furthermore the person has an internal dialogue going to discuss issues. I sometimes overhear my friend talking (not to the imaginary friend, but to a copy of himself); appearently it's helpful. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/smarter-living/benefits-of-talking-to-yourself-self-talk.html https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/08/smarter-living/benefits-o... As far as I can tell it's not trauma induced, the person is neurodivergent though, intelligent, a good parent, counselor and has a healthy and developed ego. We sometimes speculate about the parallels with a religious outlook as it's a personally experienced living and breathing reality (I'm a bit jealous of), there is no claim to an objective reality apart from our consensus reality. About paracosm: "The creator of a paracosm has a complex and deeply felt relationship with this subjective universe, which may incorporate real-world or imaginary characters and conventions. Commonly having its own geography, history, and language, it is an experience that is often developed during childhood and continues over a long period of time, months or even years, as a sophisticated reality that can last into adulthood.[1]" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracosm
xyzzy_plugh 4y ago
I am not autistic and had an imaginary friend when I was little, maybe around 5 years old. I don't know if any of my classmates had imaginary friends, it's not exactly water-cooler conversation for toddlers, but more importantly my friends wouldn't know this about me. So, your anecdote and belief of relation to trauma doesn't align with my experience. I'm not yet fully convinced there is anything unhealthy about imaginary friends or that trauma plays a role at all.
- mmcgaha 4y ago
  First off, love your user name. When you had an imaginary friend, did you know that they were imaginary? I had toys that I talked to and played out scenarios with so I am wondering if they are equivalent.

lucozade 4y ago

> Is it common for children to have imaginary friends in general? A quick Google seems to suggest it's in the 50-65% range for 7 year olds. The article states that it's less prevalent for autistic children.

stefantalpalaru 4y ago