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You need a therapist. This doesn’t get talked about enough on HN but therapy is literally life changing. The good ones are like a mechanic who can fully take
by Dwolb 4y ago
You need a therapist.
This doesn’t get talked about enough on HN but therapy is literally life changing.
The good ones are like a mechanic who can fully take an engine apart, lay out all the pieces, clean and replace broken parts, assemble the whole thing back together, and make adjustments to it until it runs like new.
You’ll be able to better understand why you did they things you did, why you currently emotionally respond how you do, and craft the tools necessary to in the future respond intentionally to your own environment.
Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see progress with your first therapist. Try a new one. This is a highly intimate service and you deserve someone who is a good fit for you.
- phpisthebest 4y agoAnd like mechanic's finding a good one is both hard and rare.... Instead of " can fully take an engine apart, lay out all the pieces, clean and replace broken parts, assemble the whole thing back together" many will (if you are luckily) charge you for new Blinker fluid and piston return springs (i.e do nothing) or if you are unlucky will take your engine apart and then put it back together with the wrong parts.
- shinryuu 4y agoNot to mention that it's hard to know if you are having a skilled theraphist or not. That said, having a person to just speak your mind helps. The theraphist is there to listen and can offer feedback on your thoughts.
- bowsamic 4y agoFinding _any_ therapist here in Germany is hard, if you don't want to shell out on one that is not covered by insurance. The waiting lists are often 6 months to a year. I'm a year long waiting list...
- bradlys 4y agoCorrecto. Also - what a therapist can be good at varies. They might be really good at zoning in on specific traumas but absolute dogshit at getting you over your general malaise. I went to a therapist because I started having very obvious anxiety attacks (and my life sucked generally) but I couldn’t pinpoint the reason down. They were able to immediately pinpoint the source of the anxiety attacks (abandonment issue) and I stopped having them immediately cause that’s all I needed to hear to get over it. But when it came to trying to get over my chronic stress and malaise and overall shitty life/lifestyle? They had nothing. They were basically like - “well you are with the wrong partner, you were born poor, and you’re trying to live in the most expensive place in the world and do it on single income. Yeah - you’re gonna fucking suffer. Sorry I have literally no solutions except move away and give up - which obviously does nothing for you because you’d never be here if you were the type of person to ever give up career wise or in relationships.” It was like talking to a brick wall for those issues. Great for specific trauma problems - terrible for anything more ambiguous. Which - to be fair - I really don’t think any therapist could solve. It’s why I don’t think I’ll ever go back. It doesn’t seem solvable by wishful thinking.
- phpisthebest 4y agoI would give them credit for saying they could not do anything instead of attempting to drug the general malaise out of you like many in the field of mental health seem to desire
- germinalphrase 4y ago“ Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see progress with your first therapist. Try a new one. This is a highly intimate service and you deserve someone who is a good fit for you.” This is really good advice. Therapy has many different “modalities” and therapy with one person can be veeery different than with someone else.
- tayo42 4y agoSo how are you all finding a good one?
- AH4oFVbPT4f8 4y ago1000% This. A good therapist can help you figure out why you feel the way you feel. For me, I put my self value in my work, so if my work or the work of those around me was not up to my standard, I'd take it as a blow to my self worth.