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If you act your gender, age and confident you'll be better off in most scenarios. That may sound like a strange statement, but our programming is strong and no
by citilife 4y ago
If you act your gender, age and confident you'll be better off in most scenarios.
That may sound like a strange statement, but our programming is strong and no matter how much we debate it in the society it doesn't change. We are what we are. We may be able to evolve, but you can't snap your fingers and have that happen in a century. Arguably, I don't see us evolving past it either, as our programming likely gives us some advantage in reproduction.
In terms of "helping men" I used to work with troubled youth (13-17yrs); young men need role models and a place in society. They'll ask for help and the role models can help them. They do much better in apprenticeship type roles. I don't really think it can be force, but a bit of encouragement and guidance goes a LONG way.
Today our society coddles everyone, young men need responsibility, guidance and hard work. Everyone has the desire to be respected, show them how to fit into society and be respected and they'll follow your lead. Many of the issues we face in society today is we don't have high expectations coupled with mentorship. Sports do this to a degree, but it needs to be through all walks of life.
The main issue IMO is that we have removed male and female only spaces and are attempting to homogenize. We also coddle children and young adults to the point they are offended when someone uses their wrong pronoun. It's good to have roles in society it helps optimize and provides guidance to those who need it. It's also good to have a thick skin, so you can roll with the punches and still succeed. Men and women alike are attracted to the traditional roles of the opposite gender because it helps both partner. There's a good reason for that, historically and today. That's not to say other configurations aren't possible, but biologically, societally and economically the traditional roles make sense to most people internally.
- amanaplanacanal 4y agoMost people aren't offended when someone accidently uses the wrong pronoun. They do get offended when people purposefully use the wrong pronoun to intentionally offend. Pretending that those are the same thing is part of the problem.
- ls612 4y agoMany people feign offense at benign things to gain power over others.
- dijit 4y agoI have experienced this too. People will play on social cues to gain benefit, it doesn't matter which social cue. The idea that every person with non-standard pronouns is a good person is misguided, even if it was an overwhelming majority. The capacity for self-centeredness and/or bullying behaviour exists in all demographics.
- ls612 4y agoEveryone is out to benefit themselves and those they like no matter the consequences for others. People ignore that at their own peril.
- dijit 4y agoThat’s reductionist. All people have morals; the ones to be fearful of are the ones that allow their morality to bend depending on the recipient.
- ls612 4y agoIts a hueristic, its quite literally wrong but it is a quick and useful guide.
- s1artibartfast 4y agoUseful in some contexts, disastrous in others. The challenge with all heuristics is having the wisdom to know when to apply them. I think the self interest heuristic is generally overused.
- ls612 4y agoI guess I disagree, self interest is generally underestimated to disastrous result. The reason being that if you assume someone is out only for themselves and are wrong you lose very little. If you assume the opposite wrongly it is very costly. The way I see it we are fundamentally the same species which committed all of the atrocities of the 20th century, 19th century, heck all of the extremely violent and callous behavior in recorded history. To believe that human nature has changed much from that in only the span of a few decades is foolhardy.
- jandorn 4y agoAfter all that he said, this is what you decided to comment on? I guess he was right on the money.
- citilife 4y ago> They do get offended when people purposefully use the wrong pronoun to intentionally offend. Pretending that those are the same thing is part of the problem. "the problem"... You don't get to choose what other people call you. Confident, hardworking people, don't don't care what others call them. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a common phrase school children say. I've been called a plethora of names, that doesn't define me, why let others define you (so to speak)? This is exactly the coddling I was discussing. The purpose of pronouns are to help others understand who you're talking about. It's not to validate the individual being discussed. Confident people don't need validation.
- dallashoxton 4y ago
- rowanG077 4y agoIn some sense I agree. But on the other hand I also don't think we should be OK with rampant bullying. Many lives have been lost just because a group of people determined they want to bullying someone.
- hoorible 4y ago“You don’t get to choose what other people call you” What? That’s literally the definition of a legal name change, which happens all the time. If someone continued to, intentionally, refer to my wife’s maiden name after she went through the nightmare process of changing it, you can bet she’d be offended, and rightfully so. Being offended by behaviour being done specifically to offend isn’t being coddled or a sign of weakness, and it’s frankly kind of weird that you think it is. Sure, she can’t technically “choose” if someone continues to be a jerk and call her by the wrong name, but the social convention of respecting given names has existed forever, and extending that same logic to pronouns seems like a pretty fair expectation of basic human decency to me. You’re seriously saying that if everyone around you referred to you as “miss” or “ma’am”, forever, that wouldn’t start to get to you? (I’m assuming you’re male, I find it hard to believe a woman would have written this) I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve met plenty of men who like to think they’re that confident, but yet to meet a man who actually is.