5 ms·

I’ve got two ankle biters right now and I feel: 1) a little bit dumber than I used to be 2) a lot more tired than I used to be, even after a rare full night s

I’ve got two ankle biters right now and I feel: 1) a little bit dumber than I used to be 2) a lot more tired than I used to be, even after a rare full night sleep 3) a lot less self serving than I used to be 4) a lot more anxious than I used to be (which was already pretty high). I definitely visualize the “worst case scenario” in every situation I’m in 5) (stealth edit in) a lot less career motivated than I used to be. I predict this returns when the kids are older but maybe not All that to say: yes, my brain has definitely rewired itself. Also I used to think parents whose kids were throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store were doing a bad job but now I get it.

barbazoo 4y ago
Lots of wisdom in here, thanks for sharing.
dspillett 4y ago
> 2) a lot more tired than I used to be, even after a rare full night sleep I suspect any drop in cognitive ability is largely a symptom of this, not a permanent rewiring. Many non-parents experience memory, concentration, computation, and anxiety problems, when operating under the pressure of low (or low quality) sleep.
- tylerc230 4y ago
  There’s a lot of multitasking with kids which I don’t think is healthy for the mind. Also I never have quiet moments to reflect which is when I make connections, mentally piece things together etc.
  - Auracle 4y ago
    All hail the magical porcelain throne.
  - dspillett 4y ago
    Is this where you tell me "bit it is worth it really" and I politely ask "really?" in a tone that suggests I'm never likely to believe that?!
defrost 4y ago
Kids will literally try anything as part of exploring the world and seeing what haapens - that's how they learn. The first time they throw a tantrum to get something just walk away and don't buckle .. especially if it's in a very public place. Avoid providing feedback that throwing a fit in public will bend you to their will and it won't happen much more.
- notch656a 4y ago
  How do you "walk away" from a screaming toddler in public? In my experience the toddler will follow you to make sure they're screaming in your face. If they somehow actually do get separated, they'll go into an even worse meltdown from the separation anxiety and if someone sees you walk away from the child (in a meaningful way that would no longer let them scream in your face) you may get investigated from CPS. Personally I don't indulge tantrums but that doesn't make them stop. I assume the child does it to punish me to try and make me feel as bad as they do, as she seems to understand the tantrum won't result in me actually doing anything. Like a tic-for-tac, not as a way to actually get something (she knows I don't give anything or really acknowledge a tantrum). If you got a toddler to make tantrums 'not happen much anymore' I think either you have an exceptional child or they just grew old enough to grow out of it.
  - defrost 4y ago
    I have no idea what you do in whatever country you're in .. I personally have just told them I'll be in the next aisle and walked away. It's worked fine with my own children, my grandchildren, and various nieces and nephews. I agree that the the "not indulging" in tantrums doesn't make them stop on a dime .. but they peter out faster and anecdotally appear less frequently in the future. It's good to have cool calm collected kids down the track so you can teach them to pull molten glass from a 1000C furnace when they're five, to use an angle grinder safely at nine, and start driving by ten. None of these offspring of mine are exceptional BTW, they're kind of typical for rural WA (W.Australia).
    - notch656a 4y ago

barbazoo 4y ago

Lots of wisdom in here, thanks for sharing.

dspillett 4y ago

> 2) a lot more tired than I used to be, even after a rare full night sleep I suspect any drop in cognitive ability is largely a symptom of this, not a permanent rewiring. Many non-parents experience memory, concentration, computation, and anxiety problems, when operating under the pressure of low (or low quality) sleep.

tylerc230 4y ago
There’s a lot of multitasking with kids which I don’t think is healthy for the mind. Also I never have quiet moments to reflect which is when I make connections, mentally piece things together etc.
- Auracle 4y ago
  All hail the magical porcelain throne.
- dspillett 4y ago
  Is this where you tell me "bit it is worth it really" and I politely ask "really?" in a tone that suggests I'm never likely to believe that?!

defrost 4y ago

Kids will literally try anything as part of exploring the world and seeing what haapens - that's how they learn. The first time they throw a tantrum to get something just walk away and don't buckle .. especially if it's in a very public place. Avoid providing feedback that throwing a fit in public will bend you to their will and it won't happen much more.

notch656a 4y ago
How do you "walk away" from a screaming toddler in public? In my experience the toddler will follow you to make sure they're screaming in your face. If they somehow actually do get separated, they'll go into an even worse meltdown from the separation anxiety and if someone sees you walk away from the child (in a meaningful way that would no longer let them scream in your face) you may get investigated from CPS. Personally I don't indulge tantrums but that doesn't make them stop. I assume the child does it to punish me to try and make me feel as bad as they do, as she seems to understand the tantrum won't result in me actually doing anything. Like a tic-for-tac, not as a way to actually get something (she knows I don't give anything or really acknowledge a tantrum). If you got a toddler to make tantrums 'not happen much anymore' I think either you have an exceptional child or they just grew old enough to grow out of it.
- defrost 4y ago
  I have no idea what you do in whatever country you're in .. I personally have just told them I'll be in the next aisle and walked away. It's worked fine with my own children, my grandchildren, and various nieces and nephews. I agree that the the "not indulging" in tantrums doesn't make them stop on a dime .. but they peter out faster and anecdotally appear less frequently in the future. It's good to have cool calm collected kids down the track so you can teach them to pull molten glass from a 1000C furnace when they're five, to use an angle grinder safely at nine, and start driving by ten. None of these offspring of mine are exceptional BTW, they're kind of typical for rural WA (W.Australia).
  - notch656a 4y ago