3 ms·

I have all the paraphernalia of adulthood - a mortgage, a car, a career, a wife, a child (and hopefully more on the way) - but I have none of the mindset, attit

by spaceman_2020 4y ago

I have all the paraphernalia of adulthood - a mortgage, a car, a career, a wife, a child (and hopefully more on the way) - but I have none of the mindset, attitude, or even the body language “adults” used to have. Or at least adults from my father’s generation. I do improv on the weekends. Sometimes I produce music. Edgy, electronic stuff. I like to dance and do strange, funny gestures and voices with my kid. Its a riot when my nephews and nieces are over. I like to dress up in bright, colorful clothes. I work from home and see no point in even pretending to look serious. Lately, I’ve grown my hair out and even had a failed attempt at a proper long rip van winkle beard. Maybe this isn’t what adults are supposed to act like. This is certainly not what my dad acted like when he was my age. But who the hell cares?

kennyadam 4y ago
Edgy.
shlant 4y ago
from my experience with friends and acquaintances over the course of my life, I have found a trend with people who care a lot about being perceived as adults - they are almost all very unhappy and unfulfilled in their lives. Not sure if this mirrors anyone else's observations. It seems a lot of people believe the need to be responsible is inseparable from looking like you fit into a narrow definition of what is perceived as responsible. But maybe I am just observing the result of living your life being concerned about how you look in general and not specifically about adult-ness.
jeroenhd 4y ago
What I think happened is that having fun in your free time is no longer considered peculiar and strange. People have built model railways for decades at least, but the people who had hobbies like that used to be considered strange recluses with no social life. I think you were "supposed" to do a lot more group things, and group things come with pressure to fit in. The same was true in many work environments, where suits and uniforms made an office floor a homogenized blob of business workforce, whereas clothing standards have gone down in terms of "professionality" since at least the late 80s. These days, you can do your own thing, and people are generally cool with that as long as you don't bother them with your hobbies. There's less judging, less expectations to fit the norm, and more self-expression in a lot of "modern" behaviour. Certain people in the older generation seem to lament this; "back in my day, we didn't play dress up and go to conventions" and other such nonsense. I don't know if it's inability to let other people have fun or envy of the freedoms (young) adults have these days, but it feels like the main focus of their complaint seems all about how modern things weren't considered proper and right back when they were young, rather than provide some reason why people shouldn't do what they do for fun. Another change is the internet: my dad didn't have the internet when he was young so many hobbies he developed were based on social activities (sports and such) and collecting (records, CDs, etc.); you were very unlikely to run into someone who was as much into painting tiny figurines as you are online. I also think childhood media plays a role: kids' shows have moved away from random violence towards a more constructive, positive role. The message of "just be yourself and you can do anything you want" that children's media repeated has seeped into kids of yesteryear, just like many shows about accepting people for who they are and being kind to another is changing the way kids act these days. Compare that to the old magazines from the 50s and 60s where children were told how to prepare for adulthood, how to be a good husband/wife, it was all so dang militaristic! None of this is universal, of course; there are always people who will oppose the mainstream, who will do their own thing, or who will cling to old, outdated norms. However, you can find many discussions online about how kids are more caring towards each other than before, and you can find many news articles about "millenials" doing all kinds of things "wrong", written by angry old people who failed to keep up with the world. Your last sentence is exactly right: who the hell cares? That's what makes the millennials different from the generation before it, and I'm sure their grandchildren will bring their own unique twist to society!

kennyadam 4y ago

Edgy.

shlant 4y ago

from my experience with friends and acquaintances over the course of my life, I have found a trend with people who care a lot about being perceived as adults - they are almost all very unhappy and unfulfilled in their lives. Not sure if this mirrors anyone else's observations. It seems a lot of people believe the need to be responsible is inseparable from looking like you fit into a narrow definition of what is perceived as responsible. But maybe I am just observing the result of living your life being concerned about how you look in general and not specifically about adult-ness.

jeroenhd 4y ago

What I think happened is that having fun in your free time is no longer considered peculiar and strange. People have built model railways for decades at least, but the people who had hobbies like that used to be considered strange recluses with no social life. I think you were "supposed" to do a lot more group things, and group things come with pressure to fit in. The same was true in many work environments, where suits and uniforms made an office floor a homogenized blob of business workforce, whereas clothing standards have gone down in terms of "professionality" since at least the late 80s. These days, you can do your own thing, and people are generally cool with that as long as you don't bother them with your hobbies. There's less judging, less expectations to fit the norm, and more self-expression in a lot of "modern" behaviour. Certain people in the older generation seem to lament this; "back in my day, we didn't play dress up and go to conventions" and other such nonsense. I don't know if it's inability to let other people have fun or envy of the freedoms (young) adults have these days, but it feels like the main focus of their complaint seems all about how modern things weren't considered proper and right back when they were young, rather than provide some reason why people shouldn't do what they do for fun. Another change is the internet: my dad didn't have the internet when he was young so many hobbies he developed were based on social activities (sports and such) and collecting (records, CDs, etc.); you were very unlikely to run into someone who was as much into painting tiny figurines as you are online. I also think childhood media plays a role: kids' shows have moved away from random violence towards a more constructive, positive role. The message of "just be yourself and you can do anything you want" that children's media repeated has seeped into kids of yesteryear, just like many shows about accepting people for who they are and being kind to another is changing the way kids act these days. Compare that to the old magazines from the 50s and 60s where children were told how to prepare for adulthood, how to be a good husband/wife, it was all so dang militaristic! None of this is universal, of course; there are always people who will oppose the mainstream, who will do their own thing, or who will cling to old, outdated norms. However, you can find many discussions online about how kids are more caring towards each other than before, and you can find many news articles about "millenials" doing all kinds of things "wrong", written by angry old people who failed to keep up with the world. Your last sentence is exactly right: who the hell cares? That's what makes the millennials different from the generation before it, and I'm sure their grandchildren will bring their own unique twist to society!