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> In 2020, a Pew study revealed that more than half of 18- to 29-year-old Americans were living with their parents. This is the part I think we all need to be

by jl6 4y ago

> In 2020, a Pew study revealed that more than half of 18- to 29-year-old Americans were living with their parents. This is the part I think we all need to be talking about more. It’s a huge root cause of everything else the article discusses. I have come to understand adulthood as being centered on responsibilities, and adult behaviour as handling those responsibilities well. The transition to adulthood is the gradual accumulation of responsibilities, and the cultivation of adult behaviour is the process of learning to handle them. Living with parents is a barrier to that progression. It defers basic responsibilities like funding your own food and shelter. It makes relationships harder to start, and having children of your own seems out of reach. Now, there are other sources of responsibility that are attainable while living in mom’s basement. You can still go out to work. You can still have a responsibility to a cause. And maybe the reason you are still at home is to care for your parents. But for a great many people, seemingly including the article author, living at home is a source of shame - a failure to launch. I can see two ways forward here. Either we manage to address the economic issues that make independent living unaffordable. Or we rediscover multigenerational households as a virtue. There are many advantages to having grandparents, parents and children all together as a unit. If we can destigmatize living with parents, perhaps we can stop treating it as a waiting room for responsibility, and unblock progress towards adulthood.

Sebguer 4y ago
This is a ridiculously American-centric viewpoint.
AlexandrB 4y ago
I don't know if this is the root cause. I moved out at 18 and I still think I'm pretty childish compared to my parents now that I'm over 35. Personally, I blame/credit the internet. Internet culture is perpetually stuck in the 16-25 range and I'm "terminally online". However, I think it's also important to distinguish between a facade of seriousness and actual maturity. I know many older (boomer) adults who, while acting "adult", are manipulative, self-centered, or constantly stirring up drama. Basically, not able to manage their own emotional states. I'll take an emotionally balanced 40 year old cosplayer over that any day and would argue that the cosplayer is more mature despite outward appearances.
- em-bee 4y ago
  culture is perpetually stuck in the 16-25 range i think this is the key. not just internet culture, but culture in general. older generations had to start working in that age range and were generally expected to stop behaving like children. but over the years, the need to work as a teen reduced and childhood got more protected and prolonged. the age range at which we are expected to stop acting like children gradually rose. i am not saying that we take longer to mature. but that maturity looks different, and allows for more seemingly child-like behavior. then there is a concept that i believe that the personality that we develop in our late teens and young adult years is the personality we generally keep for the rest of our lives. so if our young adult years are playful, then we will continue to remain playful. it's not internet culture that's the cause here, but simply that the internet generation coincides with the time that our society gained the ability to give our children more freedom from economic pressures. add to that as we get older we gain more autonomy and the financial ability to spend on things of interest, and suddenly it makes sense why we have people in their 30s and 40s or even 50s enjoying computer games, cosplay, being a furry, or build models from lego bricks. it's all about the ability to enjoy what we did enjoy in our childhood and youth. and those adults that are playing now will continue to play and so the age at which we see this playfulness is going to go up
rr888 4y ago
I wonder too if increasing people going to college makes a difference to this. You dont earn money until you're 22, you have debt and geographically have to move a few times. If you graduate high school then get your first job you're much more "adult" at 18.
JustSomeNobody 4y ago
I wonder how much of this came from what started in the 80s where people weren't allowed to lose. Everyone got a trophy. Everything had to be easy. People need to learn how to act in adversity and for a lot of people they didn't get to learn that. The "you're all winners because you participated" movement hurt a lot of people.
scruple 4y ago
> Either we manage to address the economic issues that make independent living unaffordable. Or we rediscover multigenerational households as a virtue. I don't think you have one without the other, personally.

by jl6 4y ago

Sebguer 4y ago

This is a ridiculously American-centric viewpoint.

AlexandrB 4y ago

I don't know if this is the root cause. I moved out at 18 and I still think I'm pretty childish compared to my parents now that I'm over 35. Personally, I blame/credit the internet. Internet culture is perpetually stuck in the 16-25 range and I'm "terminally online". However, I think it's also important to distinguish between a facade of seriousness and actual maturity. I know many older (boomer) adults who, while acting "adult", are manipulative, self-centered, or constantly stirring up drama. Basically, not able to manage their own emotional states. I'll take an emotionally balanced 40 year old cosplayer over that any day and would argue that the cosplayer is more mature despite outward appearances.

em-bee 4y ago
culture is perpetually stuck in the 16-25 range i think this is the key. not just internet culture, but culture in general. older generations had to start working in that age range and were generally expected to stop behaving like children. but over the years, the need to work as a teen reduced and childhood got more protected and prolonged. the age range at which we are expected to stop acting like children gradually rose. i am not saying that we take longer to mature. but that maturity looks different, and allows for more seemingly child-like behavior. then there is a concept that i believe that the personality that we develop in our late teens and young adult years is the personality we generally keep for the rest of our lives. so if our young adult years are playful, then we will continue to remain playful. it's not internet culture that's the cause here, but simply that the internet generation coincides with the time that our society gained the ability to give our children more freedom from economic pressures. add to that as we get older we gain more autonomy and the financial ability to spend on things of interest, and suddenly it makes sense why we have people in their 30s and 40s or even 50s enjoying computer games, cosplay, being a furry, or build models from lego bricks. it's all about the ability to enjoy what we did enjoy in our childhood and youth. and those adults that are playing now will continue to play and so the age at which we see this playfulness is going to go up

rr888 4y ago

I wonder too if increasing people going to college makes a difference to this. You dont earn money until you're 22, you have debt and geographically have to move a few times. If you graduate high school then get your first job you're much more "adult" at 18.

JustSomeNobody 4y ago

I wonder how much of this came from what started in the 80s where people weren't allowed to lose. Everyone got a trophy. Everything had to be easy. People need to learn how to act in adversity and for a lot of people they didn't get to learn that. The "you're all winners because you participated" movement hurt a lot of people.

scruple 4y ago

> Either we manage to address the economic issues that make independent living unaffordable. Or we rediscover multigenerational households as a virtue. I don't think you have one without the other, personally.