6 ms·

I don't even understand why do people become adult in the first place. Sure, your body changes and you begin to understand some more complex things you previous

I don't even understand why do people become adult in the first place. Sure, your body changes and you begin to understand some more complex things you previously couldn't (and that's fun), but why change anything else? Why be boring and take bullshit seriously?

raydiatian 4y ago
- weregiraffe 4y ago
  - raydiatian 4y ago
    It was just such an absurd take on things it couldn’t have been anything but a joke.
lioeters 4y ago
I believe it's because the children who manage society and business want their workers and citizens to take their bullshit seriously. So they shaped a false and convenient image of what it means to be an "adult", such as putting work above family and personal life.
- insightcheck 4y ago
  Yes, it's because of incentives. In dating, it's seen as a big negative to be a "manchild" or be dating a manchild; in less inflammatory terms, being seen as immature is seen as negative in the dating world. This is actually quite fair: it's natural for someone in a relationship to prefer a responsible person with self-control (e.g. holds a good job, cleans up, and is financially responsible). A person can take being an "adult" too far, however. They can say that anything that doesn't help you earn money is a waste of time, that anything creative is also a waste of time, and chase status and money. Maybe many of these people got burned at some point for being childish (e.g. they were criticized by a manager or partner and made to feel shame), which explains the behavior. It depends on your goals, but a nice moderate view is to discard with the labels, and aim to be responsible and have self-control, while also being curious and open to creative pursuits. It's also great to enjoy whatever media you like without caring about what others think (whether it's obscure or mainstream).
  - danjoredd 4y ago
    As with everything else, try to reach eudemonia. Taking yourself too seriously is a personal failing, but having zero responsibility is equally incorrect. Finding a good balance between being an adult and staying in touch with your childhood is essential. I know a few "NEETs" in my life that are "manchildren" and few of them are happy, and I know a few workaholics that also feel miserable. The thing is, success does indeed make people happy, and so does free time. To feel satisfied one must find work that feels somewhat meaningful, or at least shows some kind of success, and have enough time to enjoy life itself. TL;DR: too much of anything is a bad thing. Being a manchild or a workaholic is equally bad. Find a balance between fun and work.
- jovial_cavalier 4y ago
  Yes, attaining a more complex/serious personality is just a social construct.
- mistermann 4y ago
  > So they shaped a false and convenient image of what it means to be an "adult", such as putting work above family and personal life. I think there are also substantial geopolitical forces in play. Consider the hippie movement in the 60s as an example: yes it's true that there was no shortage of silliness and plain dumb ideas, but there were also a lot of genuinely enlightened ideas. But letting those bloom and spread at that point in time (considering what was going on geopolitically) could have had genuinely disastrous results. But then at the same time, if it hadn't been snuffed out the very opposite could have also occurred, in which case we might now be living in a much better world than the one we ended up with.
sp332 4y ago
The prefrontal cortex has structural changes, that we know of, up until around age 25. So adult brains are physically different in the areas that involve self-control and executive function.
leeroyjenkins11 4y ago
Because the world has not always been this way. The infantilization out teens and young adults, with the lack of purpose and call to become an adult with responsibility took us here. Basically, people have capital and no responsibility so they spend money on toys, be it car, game systems, or figurines from their favorite anime. One has to wonder, in 20 years, with this lack of meaning and responsibility lead to regret? Having children and taking responsibility are huge in giving people meaning instead of being simply a consumer.
- BlargMcLarg 4y ago
  >They have capital They don't have enough perceived capital to start a family, hence why so many give up and spend it. And in several countries, saving was a net negative on one's ability to purchase a home unless you lived immensely frugal. For several years, potentially still ongoing.
lexapro 4y ago
What bullshit are you referring to? I don't think there is a requirement to be boring but there certainly is a requirement to bring food on the table and cooperate with other individuals.
7952 4y ago
When you are a child your concept of adultness is heavily based on dignity. Grownup have dignity and kids do not (to varying degree). As people grow up they try and maximise personal dignity. The irony is that letting go of dignity is necessary for many of the most important parts of adulthood. Think about dating, having kids, romance, sex, or even starting a new job. Not always dignified but necessary.
- qwerty456127 4y ago
  Aha! Apparently "dignity" is the number 1 among the things I consider "bullshit". Why do people want it?
- insightcheck 4y ago
  That is a fascinating perspective, which makes sense. I would add that the concept of adultness is also related to seeing a person who is the "adult in the room" regardless of age. In specific, when a situation had a lot of risk and uncertainty, there is a person who can stay calm, likely positive, and always have a plan of what to do to respond. I read that growing up means finding yourself in circumstances where there are often no other "adults in the room," but you can step up and take the responsibility to manage any uncertainty.
smeej 4y ago
Because adults have the perspective of being able to see long-term consequences for their actions in a way that children do not. Ice cream and pizza taste better than salad. If you let them, children will always pick them. Adults know that doing that all the time will actually make them sick and miserable, so they start making choices that are less pleasant in the immediate term because they want to optimize value for the long-term. Sure, some things are bullshit even in the long-term, but most of the things that seem "boring," like doing the laundry and paying the taxes and making the meal plans, are actually ordered toward optimizing happiness on a much larger scale than children have the life experience to see.

raydiatian 4y ago

weregiraffe 4y ago
- raydiatian 4y ago
  It was just such an absurd take on things it couldn’t have been anything but a joke.

lioeters 4y ago

I believe it's because the children who manage society and business want their workers and citizens to take their bullshit seriously. So they shaped a false and convenient image of what it means to be an "adult", such as putting work above family and personal life.

insightcheck 4y ago
Yes, it's because of incentives. In dating, it's seen as a big negative to be a "manchild" or be dating a manchild; in less inflammatory terms, being seen as immature is seen as negative in the dating world. This is actually quite fair: it's natural for someone in a relationship to prefer a responsible person with self-control (e.g. holds a good job, cleans up, and is financially responsible). A person can take being an "adult" too far, however. They can say that anything that doesn't help you earn money is a waste of time, that anything creative is also a waste of time, and chase status and money. Maybe many of these people got burned at some point for being childish (e.g. they were criticized by a manager or partner and made to feel shame), which explains the behavior. It depends on your goals, but a nice moderate view is to discard with the labels, and aim to be responsible and have self-control, while also being curious and open to creative pursuits. It's also great to enjoy whatever media you like without caring about what others think (whether it's obscure or mainstream).
- danjoredd 4y ago
  As with everything else, try to reach eudemonia. Taking yourself too seriously is a personal failing, but having zero responsibility is equally incorrect. Finding a good balance between being an adult and staying in touch with your childhood is essential. I know a few "NEETs" in my life that are "manchildren" and few of them are happy, and I know a few workaholics that also feel miserable. The thing is, success does indeed make people happy, and so does free time. To feel satisfied one must find work that feels somewhat meaningful, or at least shows some kind of success, and have enough time to enjoy life itself. TL;DR: too much of anything is a bad thing. Being a manchild or a workaholic is equally bad. Find a balance between fun and work.
jovial_cavalier 4y ago
Yes, attaining a more complex/serious personality is just a social construct.
mistermann 4y ago
> So they shaped a false and convenient image of what it means to be an "adult", such as putting work above family and personal life. I think there are also substantial geopolitical forces in play. Consider the hippie movement in the 60s as an example: yes it's true that there was no shortage of silliness and plain dumb ideas, but there were also a lot of genuinely enlightened ideas. But letting those bloom and spread at that point in time (considering what was going on geopolitically) could have had genuinely disastrous results. But then at the same time, if it hadn't been snuffed out the very opposite could have also occurred, in which case we might now be living in a much better world than the one we ended up with.

sp332 4y ago

The prefrontal cortex has structural changes, that we know of, up until around age 25. So adult brains are physically different in the areas that involve self-control and executive function.

leeroyjenkins11 4y ago

Because the world has not always been this way. The infantilization out teens and young adults, with the lack of purpose and call to become an adult with responsibility took us here. Basically, people have capital and no responsibility so they spend money on toys, be it car, game systems, or figurines from their favorite anime. One has to wonder, in 20 years, with this lack of meaning and responsibility lead to regret? Having children and taking responsibility are huge in giving people meaning instead of being simply a consumer.

BlargMcLarg 4y ago
>They have capital They don't have enough perceived capital to start a family, hence why so many give up and spend it. And in several countries, saving was a net negative on one's ability to purchase a home unless you lived immensely frugal. For several years, potentially still ongoing.

lexapro 4y ago

What bullshit are you referring to? I don't think there is a requirement to be boring but there certainly is a requirement to bring food on the table and cooperate with other individuals.

7952 4y ago

When you are a child your concept of adultness is heavily based on dignity. Grownup have dignity and kids do not (to varying degree). As people grow up they try and maximise personal dignity. The irony is that letting go of dignity is necessary for many of the most important parts of adulthood. Think about dating, having kids, romance, sex, or even starting a new job. Not always dignified but necessary.

qwerty456127 4y ago
Aha! Apparently "dignity" is the number 1 among the things I consider "bullshit". Why do people want it?
insightcheck 4y ago
That is a fascinating perspective, which makes sense. I would add that the concept of adultness is also related to seeing a person who is the "adult in the room" regardless of age. In specific, when a situation had a lot of risk and uncertainty, there is a person who can stay calm, likely positive, and always have a plan of what to do to respond. I read that growing up means finding yourself in circumstances where there are often no other "adults in the room," but you can step up and take the responsibility to manage any uncertainty.

smeej 4y ago

Because adults have the perspective of being able to see long-term consequences for their actions in a way that children do not. Ice cream and pizza taste better than salad. If you let them, children will always pick them. Adults know that doing that all the time will actually make them sick and miserable, so they start making choices that are less pleasant in the immediate term because they want to optimize value for the long-term. Sure, some things are bullshit even in the long-term, but most of the things that seem "boring," like doing the laundry and paying the taxes and making the meal plans, are actually ordered toward optimizing happiness on a much larger scale than children have the life experience to see.