The best bread is the squishy kind (humblest of opinions, I'm sure), which is rather difficult to butter without making a crumby mess. Despite my general distr

The best bread is the squishy kind (humblest of opinions, I'm sure), which is rather difficult to butter without making a crumby mess. Despite my general distrust of mayonnaise, it spreads like a dream. I do prefer the flavor of butter, so perfection is achieved by buttering frozen bread and then letting it come to room temperature. I don't have time for that crap, so mayo wins. Shredded, melty cheese is optimal. If you're in Wisconsin, please mail me some Bleu Cheddar. I recently had some truffle-flavored cheddar, which was otherwise overwhelming but in this case divine. Shredded cheese is more uniform than whatever I can quickly produce with a chef knife; a cheese plane is probably fine but mine is attached to a big grater which is annoying to use. The real important part is the griddle. Specifically, get it to temperature before it touches the bread. I use a cast iron pan, and flick water droplets on the pan to test the temperature. I flip three times, and smash it with the spatula after the first two flips. The goal is that the bread should be golden brown on both sides at the same time that the cheese has completely melted. As far as I can tell, this depends on every variable in your kitchen, and dialing in the perfect sandwich necessitates delicious science.