I have not read this PDF (nor do I intend to), so perhaps this is something it mentions, but a shift in perspective along Stoic lines and identifying some irrat

I have not read this PDF (nor do I intend to), so perhaps this is something it mentions, but a shift in perspective along Stoic lines and identifying some irrational confusions might help. At base, the biggest problems are ego and attaching inappropriate significance to what people think/say or might think/say. Of the two, ego is the biggest problem, I would say, and the first one that needs to be addressed. The typical reason someone might not want to ask a question is because they are afraid people will think they're stupid because asking reveals you don't know something that you believe is expected you should know. If this something is something you should know, then are you perhaps pretending to be better than you are? Are you trying to prevent people from forming an accurate opinion of you, an opinion that you deserve? With respect to the second problem, people attach way too much value to what others say or might think instead of the truth. We all think things about each other. So what? Life is a bazaar of ignorant and cranky people assessing, misassessing, yammering, squabbling, haggling, making noise, elbowing each other, and so on, not some preciously arranged crystal palace or the last judgement presided over by a capricious teenager. No one is thinking about you because they're too busy thinking about themselves...just like you're doing by worrying so much about what others think of you. There are ultimately two possibilities. Someone's assessment of you is accurate or it is inaccurate. If it is accurate, then what's the problem? You deserve it. If it is inaccurate, then it doesn't matter because it isn't true. In either case, if you are treated unjustly, or even uncharitably, then who's the asshole? Not you. As Marcus Aurelius would say, as long as you're going the right thing, you have nothing to worry about. You've done your part. You have no control over anything else, so why worry about it? If you don't ask the question, then perhaps no one will think you're stupid, but you will have failed to done your part by choosing to remain ignorant when all you had to do is ask. You would be guilty of what Catholics call "human respect".