7 ms·

Yet therapists can only provide coping mechanisms or listen to one's complaints if the root cause is out of reach. Many times, those aren't enough. And persona

Yet therapists can only provide coping mechanisms or listen to one's complaints if the root cause is out of reach. Many times, those aren't enough. And personally, I have beef with the continuing commodification of what communities used to offer. Nothing against therapists (a man's gotta eat), but making transactions the first line of defense sits wrong with me.

sillysaurusx 4y ago
For what it's worth, I agree with you. The trouble seems to be that society doesn't really have a better alternative at this point. Discord has become the institution of our generation, at least for teens and 20-somethings. In past generations, it was church. Church has been on my mind a lot. Religion is a tricky topic to bring up publicly, but regardless of how you feel about it, it's true that having a shared community context every Sunday is something that's hard to find a replacement for. After all, priests were the OG therapists. And after each session you felt like you made some progress, or at least that you got your sins off your back for a bit. Regardless, religion of old is more or less gone, and it's not coming back. If there's an alternative, I imagine it might become pretty popular. But the digital age is moving us further apart; http://www.paulgraham.com/re.html http://www.paulgraham.com/re.html seems even more prescient after covid moved us away from offices too.
- BlargMcLarg 4y ago
  I don't believe the digital age necessarily requires us to turn support into a commodity, though. Beyond religion, we are much more individualist and busy mentally and emotionally. If it isn't one's immediate network being unavailable, odds are they themselves are. Neither of which is inherent to becoming more digital alone. Like, do people even notice the advice we were given the last 2-3 decades? Of course we're more lonely collectively, it was practically a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- mattcaldwell 4y ago
  What about climbing gyms, run clubs, book clubs, gardening clubs, bars/trivia, etc? If you're near a city, almost any of these will be an option. And if you're not, a high percentage of those people are probably still going to church. It seems there are still a lot of opportunities out there for regular communion with others.
  - mantas 4y ago
    Hobby clubs are better than nothing, but religions have much better structure to keep community members in check and check their mental health regularly.
- mensetmanusman 4y ago
  It’s actually interesting if you look at the data, outside of the tech bubble Religion is only projected to grow due to a confluence of factors which include much higher fertility rates and increased mental health (might be coupled). Religion of old is gone in some bubbles and more than thriving in others.
- Eleison23 4y ago
  I was adopted as an infant and baptized into the Catholic Church. My parents are active volunteers in the parish and attend regularly. They took me, my sister, and grandmother every Sunday and holy day. At church I learned how much I am loved and valued by God. The priests and the faithful at Mass demonstrated that love to me in many ways. In Catholic school, these lessons were reinforced and again, demonstrated by religious sisters in habits with their strict rules and adorable Irish brogues, as well as celibate priests and deacons who were faculty and staff in my high school. Every one of these Catholic men and women under vows always treated me with utmost respect and upheld my dignity, always and everywhere. When the abuse scandal broke I couldn't quite understand it, but I realized later that I'd been subjected to decades of trauma in my childhood, only at home by family members--women. The abuse I suffered was just as real but it was ignored and denied while people went after the priests and sisters who had loved me and shown so much solicitude for me and my classmates. I'm coming to terms with that now and I'm beginning to explore the root causes of my mental illness--which incidentally became severe when I lived in Silicon Valley and had a high-paying consultant career. Thankfully I returned to my faith in Christ, rather than rejecting Him, and I receive daily reminders of my dignity, my self-worth, and how much we are loved. And that's worth more than any Silicon Valley career.
germinalphrase 4y ago
Lots of people need help learning how to cope safely and effectively. They may also need help avoiding self-destructive behaviors or thoughts that cause suffering. Of course, this kind of help can be provided by others in a community - but there's also something to be said for training and experience. My father taught me a hell of a lot about carpentry, but there is certainly a point where I call a professional.
- nvrspyx 4y ago
  I agree. More importantly, IMO, is a vast majority of people need a place to actually dissect and confront the issue. A lot of safe, effective coping mechanisms naturally come about when you actually understand what's wrong. A common symptom of mental illness, especially the more prevalent ones like depression and anxiety, is a lack of insight. When people are left to deal with these issues alone, the instinctual thing to do is to suppress it rather than confront and actually manage it. I think that distinction between motivations is what causes unhealthy coping mechanisms, like seeking drugs, to be the first pursuit of people suffering from these issues. Finding someone to talk to encourages one to actually evaluate and understand what the issue is simply by trying to explain it to someone else. This can be done with anyone you trust. Although, as you say, it's certainly not as effective as someone with training and experience that can keep the expression going in the right direction, I'd posit it's much more effective than trying to do it alone because the approach just tends to be circumstantially different.
orangesite 4y ago
I look forward to the day I can bill my employer for the mental health costs they keep incurring.
theGnuMe 4y ago
This is why all children in schools should be taught about emotions and emotional regulation. Then those skills should be reinforced daily until they are automatic.

sillysaurusx 4y ago

For what it's worth, I agree with you. The trouble seems to be that society doesn't really have a better alternative at this point. Discord has become the institution of our generation, at least for teens and 20-somethings. In past generations, it was church. Church has been on my mind a lot. Religion is a tricky topic to bring up publicly, but regardless of how you feel about it, it's true that having a shared community context every Sunday is something that's hard to find a replacement for. After all, priests were the OG therapists. And after each session you felt like you made some progress, or at least that you got your sins off your back for a bit. Regardless, religion of old is more or less gone, and it's not coming back. If there's an alternative, I imagine it might become pretty popular. But the digital age is moving us further apart; http://www.paulgraham.com/re.html http://www.paulgraham.com/re.html seems even more prescient after covid moved us away from offices too.

BlargMcLarg 4y ago
I don't believe the digital age necessarily requires us to turn support into a commodity, though. Beyond religion, we are much more individualist and busy mentally and emotionally. If it isn't one's immediate network being unavailable, odds are they themselves are. Neither of which is inherent to becoming more digital alone. Like, do people even notice the advice we were given the last 2-3 decades? Of course we're more lonely collectively, it was practically a self-fulfilling prophecy.
mattcaldwell 4y ago
What about climbing gyms, run clubs, book clubs, gardening clubs, bars/trivia, etc? If you're near a city, almost any of these will be an option. And if you're not, a high percentage of those people are probably still going to church. It seems there are still a lot of opportunities out there for regular communion with others.
- mantas 4y ago
  Hobby clubs are better than nothing, but religions have much better structure to keep community members in check and check their mental health regularly.
mensetmanusman 4y ago
It’s actually interesting if you look at the data, outside of the tech bubble Religion is only projected to grow due to a confluence of factors which include much higher fertility rates and increased mental health (might be coupled). Religion of old is gone in some bubbles and more than thriving in others.
Eleison23 4y ago
I was adopted as an infant and baptized into the Catholic Church. My parents are active volunteers in the parish and attend regularly. They took me, my sister, and grandmother every Sunday and holy day. At church I learned how much I am loved and valued by God. The priests and the faithful at Mass demonstrated that love to me in many ways. In Catholic school, these lessons were reinforced and again, demonstrated by religious sisters in habits with their strict rules and adorable Irish brogues, as well as celibate priests and deacons who were faculty and staff in my high school. Every one of these Catholic men and women under vows always treated me with utmost respect and upheld my dignity, always and everywhere. When the abuse scandal broke I couldn't quite understand it, but I realized later that I'd been subjected to decades of trauma in my childhood, only at home by family members--women. The abuse I suffered was just as real but it was ignored and denied while people went after the priests and sisters who had loved me and shown so much solicitude for me and my classmates. I'm coming to terms with that now and I'm beginning to explore the root causes of my mental illness--which incidentally became severe when I lived in Silicon Valley and had a high-paying consultant career. Thankfully I returned to my faith in Christ, rather than rejecting Him, and I receive daily reminders of my dignity, my self-worth, and how much we are loved. And that's worth more than any Silicon Valley career.

germinalphrase 4y ago

Lots of people need help learning how to cope safely and effectively. They may also need help avoiding self-destructive behaviors or thoughts that cause suffering. Of course, this kind of help can be provided by others in a community - but there's also something to be said for training and experience. My father taught me a hell of a lot about carpentry, but there is certainly a point where I call a professional.

nvrspyx 4y ago
I agree. More importantly, IMO, is a vast majority of people need a place to actually dissect and confront the issue. A lot of safe, effective coping mechanisms naturally come about when you actually understand what's wrong. A common symptom of mental illness, especially the more prevalent ones like depression and anxiety, is a lack of insight. When people are left to deal with these issues alone, the instinctual thing to do is to suppress it rather than confront and actually manage it. I think that distinction between motivations is what causes unhealthy coping mechanisms, like seeking drugs, to be the first pursuit of people suffering from these issues. Finding someone to talk to encourages one to actually evaluate and understand what the issue is simply by trying to explain it to someone else. This can be done with anyone you trust. Although, as you say, it's certainly not as effective as someone with training and experience that can keep the expression going in the right direction, I'd posit it's much more effective than trying to do it alone because the approach just tends to be circumstantially different.

orangesite 4y ago

I look forward to the day I can bill my employer for the mental health costs they keep incurring.

theGnuMe 4y ago

This is why all children in schools should be taught about emotions and emotional regulation. Then those skills should be reinforced daily until they are automatic.