> Everyone else is using 'attractive' here to mean "attractive according to the beauty standards of the dominant culture in which I live" OK, that makes sense,

> Everyone else is using 'attractive' here to mean "attractive according to the beauty standards of the dominant culture in which I live" OK, that makes sense, and if that's what they mean, perhaps it explains my problem: I've never taken sufficient interest in other people's ideas about beauty. I can take a casual interest in what other people look like, and I can care about what other people think about some specific questions, but what other people think about what other people look like is a bridge too far for me!