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The author comes off as lacking EQ. It’s strange to ask someone’s last night before you’ve met them, so that’s a red flag for the author. Being judgmental about

The author comes off as lacking EQ. It’s strange to ask someone’s last night before you’ve met them, so that’s a red flag for the author. Being judgmental about someone’s voice, another red flag. And the 35th and 8th thing? Why wouldn’t you just drop it? Too quick to point out flaws, another red flag. I grew up in NYC and at one point in my youth, I had the same answer as her. If she was annoyed by the random ketchup question, It’s likely because you have put so little effort into building rapport. Those types of random/abstract questions are best AFTER you’ve built a connection with someone… not topic 1, date 1. Sorry to vent, but it annoys me to see this posted on HN.

exmadscientist 4y ago
Dating is about compatibility. If it isn't working, it isn't working. Incompatibility does not mean either person is bad or unworthy. It just means there's no point to another date, and the faster you can make that call, the better for everyone. I don't really know either of the two people from the article, so I'll let others decide who dodged a bullet there.
athammer 4y ago
Yeah if a friend send me this article I would assume we’d be laughing at how bad the author is at social interactions. It’s embarrassing reading through the story and thinking that she was the issue. The author was throwing out huge low EQ vibes. I see this a lot especially in technical fields and it’s really aggravating as it’s never the other persons fault.
euroderf 4y ago
Sounds to me like he bailed right on time.
ninth_ant 4y ago
Just trying to understand here. You say you lived in NYC but didn’t understand how the grid was in streets and avenues, incrementing to make finding “35th & 8th” or most any intersection trivial to find? How did you typically get around? You never noticed the pattern of incrementing streets when taking the subway or walking? Not trying to be rude, I’m just curious at how this is even possible.
bergenty 4y ago
I think you’re completely off? seems like the date was lacking any sense of decorum- who in their right mind suggest that someone might be a serial killer before you’ve met them? Hell, who even asks for directions at this point, just plug it in or think about the grid system. Also if someone shows up at a date sounding miserable and disinterested why would you stick around?

exmadscientist 4y ago

Dating is about compatibility. If it isn't working, it isn't working. Incompatibility does not mean either person is bad or unworthy. It just means there's no point to another date, and the faster you can make that call, the better for everyone. I don't really know either of the two people from the article, so I'll let others decide who dodged a bullet there.

athammer 4y ago

Yeah if a friend send me this article I would assume we’d be laughing at how bad the author is at social interactions. It’s embarrassing reading through the story and thinking that she was the issue. The author was throwing out huge low EQ vibes. I see this a lot especially in technical fields and it’s really aggravating as it’s never the other persons fault.

euroderf 4y ago

Sounds to me like he bailed right on time.

ninth_ant 4y ago

Just trying to understand here. You say you lived in NYC but didn’t understand how the grid was in streets and avenues, incrementing to make finding “35th & 8th” or most any intersection trivial to find? How did you typically get around? You never noticed the pattern of incrementing streets when taking the subway or walking? Not trying to be rude, I’m just curious at how this is even possible.

bergenty 4y ago

I think you’re completely off? seems like the date was lacking any sense of decorum- who in their right mind suggest that someone might be a serial killer before you’ve met them? Hell, who even asks for directions at this point, just plug it in or think about the grid system. Also if someone shows up at a date sounding miserable and disinterested why would you stick around?