5 ms·

I did a volumetric dilution of desoxyn crystals, in an attempt to find some alternative tool to manage my ADHD, as a complement to the very limited solutions av

I did a volumetric dilution of desoxyn crystals, in an attempt to find some alternative tool to manage my ADHD, as a complement to the very limited solutions available in my country. The scary thing about desoxyn is that it's thoroughly unregulated, so you have to watch for impurities or contamination. Especially scary would be fentanyl hotspots, which can happen if the chemical was improperly handled during packaging. It's a very scary thing to be attempting, and I've actually had the experiment sitting for several months in my kitchen without touching it, due to how slightly alarming the whole prospect is, but my natural curiosity and engineering instinct tends to win in the end, when I feel sufficiently prepared. So far I've slowly ramped up to a 40mg dose of oral metamphetamine and I'm still not consciously feeling anything that couldn't be attributed to placebo, so I'm starting to consider scraping the current batch, sending it to a lab for an expensive analysis, and potentially trying again a few months from now, if I have the energy for it. It's a pretty slow-going project since I have to prepare for 12h of potential effects of each dose, and ramp up slowly due to uncertain purity, but the potential payoff of not having horrible executive dysfunction is pretty interesting.

Tenoke 4y ago
what do you mean unregulated desoxyn? Desoxyn is a brand name. Are you talking about street meth? If yes, then 1. those are usually cut and much weaker so dosage needs to be higher, however 2. You can at least do a quick acetone wash it to remove a lot of impurities which will also make it stronger per mg and both be less cut and closer dosage-wise.
- loves_mangoes 4y ago
  You're right. I use it as a euphemism, I think because the stigma is so strong even I feel uncomfortable writing it. It is in fact mail-order "street" metamphetamine from an online reseller. My understanding is that the production of metamphetamine has increased in quality over time, so that it should be possible to get something reasonably potent with a little trial and error. The idea is to optimize both on cost and size, because if it turns out to be viable as a tool, having to order smaller packages less frequently should contribute to reducing risks. On point 2, I'm aware of the acetone wash, I think that's definitely worth doing (though it can't wash every impurity). I haven't attempted it yet due to fire safety concerns, and because I see it more as an optimization I can make down the line, if this whole insane experiment turns out to be practically viable as a potential tool in my toolbox.
  - Tenoke 4y ago
    > the production of metamphetamine has increase The production has increased but as far as I know it's fairly easy to make so there's a ton of small mediocre operations making it and also there's always incentives to make it weigh more for cheap.
WORMS_EAT_WORMS 4y ago
Is your ADHD so bad it’s worth trying all this?
- andai 4y ago
  Is that a rhetorical question? The fact they're trying it indicates the answer is yes! On a serious note, I'd just like to emphasize how debilitating this condition can be. You can know what you want, know what you need to do to get it, and simply be unable to get going (or keep going), for months, for years... and the only thing you hear from others is how lazy you are and need to work harder. As a ground-level example, you can have a task on your mind all day, to the point where you can't relax or do anything else productive, but still get nowhere with it. I had some (limited) success with microdosing LSD, which I tried because I do not tolerate stimulants well. At its peak effectiveness, it became literally impossible to procrastinate because I would just be consciously, excruciatingly aware of trying to avoid a task. The only way to get it off my mind would be to deal with it. So for a time it was extremely effective for me. Also some nice bonuses were it made me much more friendly and social, and fond of physical exercise. I stopped for various reasons including the legality, availability, difficulty of dosing correctly, and also it woke me up to some things happening in the world that are very unpleasant to be thinking about on a regular basis. I rather went back to my usual half-asleep state of mind.
  - loves_mangoes 4y ago
    >As a ground-level example, you can have a task on your mind all day, to the point where you can't relax or do anything else productive, but still get nowhere with it. >I had some (limited) success with microdosing LSD, which I tried because I do not tolerate stimulants well. At its peak effectiveness, it became literally impossible to procrastinate because I would just be consciously, excruciatingly aware of trying to avoid a task. The only way to get it off my mind would be to deal with it. This almost exactly matches my experience. I relate completely. A few months ago I spent about 6 hours trying and failing to do some basic everyday life task. As a last resort, in the evening, I took a small threshold amount of a psychedelic. I knew full trips in the past had filled me with determination, so I wanted to see where the lower bound was. Can a smaller push than a full trip get me past the barrier? It did work in the end, but only after a few more hours of trying and 964 lines of notes on why exactly it is that I'm not doing the very thing I want to be doing right now. For me, psychedelics get me in an emotional mindset where I start caring and being a lot more emotionally involved than normal, eventually filling me with enough emotional determination to can overcome almost any mental barrier. The only problem being that some tasks can't very well be done when you're far from sober, it's not a very functional tool above light doses. And unfortunately using it like that feels way too much like an unhealthy dependency to me. I could never accept using it as anything more than as a last resort, because psychedelics have so many side effects and changes in perception. If I started depending on tripping to do anything hard, I feel like that would be an addiction, and surrendering a small part of myself to replace it by a chemical. I'm trying to explore other potential solutions that would work better for infrequent to semi-frequent use, even if I know I can always as a hail mary resort to psychedelics, and if nothing else worked that should get me to guilt trip myself into having the determination to attempt anything that needs doing.
deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
adwi 4y ago
I was told recently by a person doing addiction outreach that the biggest spike in overdose deaths he sees is from methamphetamine being spiked with fentanyl. Not going to judge the plan, but please make sure to have a Narcan (naloxone) nearby, familiarize yourself with its use and do the same for any friends/family/neighbors that might be in near proximity of you. If you can’t afford it there are organizations that can provide you one for free or lower cost.
- loves_mangoes 4y ago
  Thank you, I appreciate particularly all attempts at harm reduction, that's very thoughtful and kind of you. Narcan (naloxone) is a wonderful thing, that I wish was more broadly available. I would still worry that sometimes people are not able to self-administer Narcan, so in addition fentanyl test strips are a very good idea to also have. They're a little false-positive heavy, but that seems better than the alternative.
biggerChris 4y ago
This guy.

Tenoke 4y ago

what do you mean unregulated desoxyn? Desoxyn is a brand name. Are you talking about street meth? If yes, then 1. those are usually cut and much weaker so dosage needs to be higher, however 2. You can at least do a quick acetone wash it to remove a lot of impurities which will also make it stronger per mg and both be less cut and closer dosage-wise.

loves_mangoes 4y ago
You're right. I use it as a euphemism, I think because the stigma is so strong even I feel uncomfortable writing it. It is in fact mail-order "street" metamphetamine from an online reseller. My understanding is that the production of metamphetamine has increased in quality over time, so that it should be possible to get something reasonably potent with a little trial and error. The idea is to optimize both on cost and size, because if it turns out to be viable as a tool, having to order smaller packages less frequently should contribute to reducing risks. On point 2, I'm aware of the acetone wash, I think that's definitely worth doing (though it can't wash every impurity). I haven't attempted it yet due to fire safety concerns, and because I see it more as an optimization I can make down the line, if this whole insane experiment turns out to be practically viable as a potential tool in my toolbox.
- Tenoke 4y ago
  > the production of metamphetamine has increase The production has increased but as far as I know it's fairly easy to make so there's a ton of small mediocre operations making it and also there's always incentives to make it weigh more for cheap.

WORMS_EAT_WORMS 4y ago

Is your ADHD so bad it’s worth trying all this?

andai 4y ago
Is that a rhetorical question? The fact they're trying it indicates the answer is yes! On a serious note, I'd just like to emphasize how debilitating this condition can be. You can know what you want, know what you need to do to get it, and simply be unable to get going (or keep going), for months, for years... and the only thing you hear from others is how lazy you are and need to work harder. As a ground-level example, you can have a task on your mind all day, to the point where you can't relax or do anything else productive, but still get nowhere with it. I had some (limited) success with microdosing LSD, which I tried because I do not tolerate stimulants well. At its peak effectiveness, it became literally impossible to procrastinate because I would just be consciously, excruciatingly aware of trying to avoid a task. The only way to get it off my mind would be to deal with it. So for a time it was extremely effective for me. Also some nice bonuses were it made me much more friendly and social, and fond of physical exercise. I stopped for various reasons including the legality, availability, difficulty of dosing correctly, and also it woke me up to some things happening in the world that are very unpleasant to be thinking about on a regular basis. I rather went back to my usual half-asleep state of mind.
- loves_mangoes 4y ago
  >As a ground-level example, you can have a task on your mind all day, to the point where you can't relax or do anything else productive, but still get nowhere with it. >I had some (limited) success with microdosing LSD, which I tried because I do not tolerate stimulants well. At its peak effectiveness, it became literally impossible to procrastinate because I would just be consciously, excruciatingly aware of trying to avoid a task. The only way to get it off my mind would be to deal with it. This almost exactly matches my experience. I relate completely. A few months ago I spent about 6 hours trying and failing to do some basic everyday life task. As a last resort, in the evening, I took a small threshold amount of a psychedelic. I knew full trips in the past had filled me with determination, so I wanted to see where the lower bound was. Can a smaller push than a full trip get me past the barrier? It did work in the end, but only after a few more hours of trying and 964 lines of notes on why exactly it is that I'm not doing the very thing I want to be doing right now. For me, psychedelics get me in an emotional mindset where I start caring and being a lot more emotionally involved than normal, eventually filling me with enough emotional determination to can overcome almost any mental barrier. The only problem being that some tasks can't very well be done when you're far from sober, it's not a very functional tool above light doses. And unfortunately using it like that feels way too much like an unhealthy dependency to me. I could never accept using it as anything more than as a last resort, because psychedelics have so many side effects and changes in perception. If I started depending on tripping to do anything hard, I feel like that would be an addiction, and surrendering a small part of myself to replace it by a chemical. I'm trying to explore other potential solutions that would work better for infrequent to semi-frequent use, even if I know I can always as a hail mary resort to psychedelics, and if nothing else worked that should get me to guilt trip myself into having the determination to attempt anything that needs doing.

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

adwi 4y ago

I was told recently by a person doing addiction outreach that the biggest spike in overdose deaths he sees is from methamphetamine being spiked with fentanyl. Not going to judge the plan, but please make sure to have a Narcan (naloxone) nearby, familiarize yourself with its use and do the same for any friends/family/neighbors that might be in near proximity of you. If you can’t afford it there are organizations that can provide you one for free or lower cost.

loves_mangoes 4y ago
Thank you, I appreciate particularly all attempts at harm reduction, that's very thoughtful and kind of you. Narcan (naloxone) is a wonderful thing, that I wish was more broadly available. I would still worry that sometimes people are not able to self-administer Narcan, so in addition fentanyl test strips are a very good idea to also have. They're a little false-positive heavy, but that seems better than the alternative.

biggerChris 4y ago

This guy.