>It‘s not a phase. I am turning 30 soon. At least a little, it might actually still be a phase. I'm 40 this year, and something I can say in retrospect is that

>It‘s not a phase. I am turning 30 soon. At least a little, it might actually still be a phase. I'm 40 this year, and something I can say in retrospect is that I was a very dramatic person from about 26 to 31. Those were probably my most existentially anxious years. Of course, it would also be wrong to definitively tell you it's a phase--it might not be a phase--but I also do remember what you are feeling now and that it eventually went away as I lightened up. I think, and might be mistaken, people feel so dreadful in their late 20s because they think that their life is completely over at 30. This too, I think, is because I think they still have such a strong memory of being a teenager and thinking anyone over 26 is old and boring. When I was 29, a 50 year old guy at work said to me "you have the whole thing still in front of you". I was polite, but secretly felt the the assessment was ridiculous. I felt so strongly that it was over for me that I wrote it off as his own politeness. But it's actually true, you are, right now, at an amazing point in your life. Try to appreciate the miracle of being 30 years old. It's a tremendous gift and you can claim it for quite some time still. Here's what I was doing from 26-32: I lived with my parents, almost entirely unemployed and increasingly isolated from my former friends. At 34, I went back to school and was hanging out with a big group of friends (many in their 20s), going to the beach and even house parties. Of course, it eventually became clear it was time to move on from that kind of life. But I say this because I want you to understand that your life is not set in concrete right now. You can still do and have anything you want. Here's my advice to you: join toastmasters, or reconnect with your absolutely ugliest friend. This is important because they will likely connect you other people who not so ugly, and because they will probably appreciate the company. I would say: you need a strategy. Think of where the people are and go have a look. Maybe you can learn something, but try not to creep anyone out while you do it. Good luck friend.