4 ms·

I know a number of people who decided that they were introverts in the last 5-8 years, but what I notice is that they don't seem to respond to human interaction

by kurthr 4y ago

I know a number of people who decided that they were introverts in the last 5-8 years, but what I notice is that they don't seem to respond to human interaction (3 to 5 people) with tiredness, but with excitement. Meanwhile they talk about being depressed. Certainly, I have times that I don't like being around people (when I'm trying to get work done) and times that I do (when I want to be entertained/drink/celebrate). I'd be surprised if many people don't have such a conditional response. There was a lot of promotion of introversion as a personality type within the geek community not long after social media became completely ubiquitous. I can easily see people getting tired of dealing with people on line and then not wanting to deal with people as much in person, but that doesn't seem like introversion to me, it just sounds like too much FB/Insta/Reddit.

deleted 4y ago
[deleted]
packetlost 4y ago
The thing about being introverted is that some people just don't drain your social meter. Who those people are can change and the number of people present at any given time can also drain you more.
- haswell 4y ago
  Just as importantly, being an introvert and having a limited supply of social energy doesn't mean I'm not excited to see people. I also get excited about long and difficult bike rides and I'm dead afterwards. But that's part of it. I think there's often a misconception that introversion == anti-social or a non-enjoyment of social situations.
TheCowboy 4y ago
I once thought I was an introvert but just realized it wasn't the case in practice and now people are surprised if I tell them that, so it's not really impossible to find some balance. I think a lot of people have convinced themselves that they're strongly typed as introverts for a lot of various reasons. But people often exhibit desires and behaviors contrary that aren't exactly hard introversion, and discount that it's possible to change or adapt for the better. I frequently see posts for my city's subreddit basically saying "I am lonely but I don't go out and talk to people or try to because I hate everyone". Or people find it unimaginable that you can go sit at a bar and interact with strangers---meanwhile we do it online all the time. I feel like this is the status quo for too many people. One example is needing downtime after social interaction. This really isn't uncommon even among people who aren't introverted. Social interaction is a source of stress that can be net positive and it doesn't mean you're introvert if you need a break. If a lot of a person's social interaction has historically been and continues to be negative, then one might associate themselves more heavily with introversion which can reinforce having negative interactions (Why improve social skills or seek out positive social interactions if it feels like everyone is always a jerk?). But a lot of social interaction people seek out isn't as simple as small talk. A lot of geeks like sharing code and participate in various online communities. I like being able to isolate and get work done and also interact with people about work. Too much of one or the other isn't always useful. My personal view is that a lot of social interactions and social life in general has been disrupted by tech, and we're still figuring out how to make it work.

by kurthr 4y ago

deleted 4y ago

[deleted]

packetlost 4y ago

The thing about being introverted is that some people just don't drain your social meter. Who those people are can change and the number of people present at any given time can also drain you more.

haswell 4y ago
Just as importantly, being an introvert and having a limited supply of social energy doesn't mean I'm not excited to see people. I also get excited about long and difficult bike rides and I'm dead afterwards. But that's part of it. I think there's often a misconception that introversion == anti-social or a non-enjoyment of social situations.

TheCowboy 4y ago

I once thought I was an introvert but just realized it wasn't the case in practice and now people are surprised if I tell them that, so it's not really impossible to find some balance. I think a lot of people have convinced themselves that they're strongly typed as introverts for a lot of various reasons. But people often exhibit desires and behaviors contrary that aren't exactly hard introversion, and discount that it's possible to change or adapt for the better. I frequently see posts for my city's subreddit basically saying "I am lonely but I don't go out and talk to people or try to because I hate everyone". Or people find it unimaginable that you can go sit at a bar and interact with strangers---meanwhile we do it online all the time. I feel like this is the status quo for too many people. One example is needing downtime after social interaction. This really isn't uncommon even among people who aren't introverted. Social interaction is a source of stress that can be net positive and it doesn't mean you're introvert if you need a break. If a lot of a person's social interaction has historically been and continues to be negative, then one might associate themselves more heavily with introversion which can reinforce having negative interactions (Why improve social skills or seek out positive social interactions if it feels like everyone is always a jerk?). But a lot of social interaction people seek out isn't as simple as small talk. A lot of geeks like sharing code and participate in various online communities. I like being able to isolate and get work done and also interact with people about work. Too much of one or the other isn't always useful. My personal view is that a lot of social interactions and social life in general has been disrupted by tech, and we're still figuring out how to make it work.