4 ms·

It might take a few attempts, but I would try to find a good therapist and work with them to figure out this state-of-being and how you can change or augment it

by akeck 4y ago

It might take a few attempts, but I would try to find a good therapist and work with them to figure out this state-of-being and how you can change or augment it in a way that both meets your desire to spend time alone and to resolve your loneliness. For example, maybe you need to find a specific type of life partner who also needs lots of time alone (e.g. an artist with a studio). Then you could potentially continue having stretches of alone time but with companionship during times you and your partner don't want to be alone.

coward20222023 4y ago
Short of a therapist, OP could also checkout out HealthyGamer community - Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG - Discord: https://www.healthygamer.gg/community https://www.healthygamer.gg/community edit. I don't use twitch but their 1st video rn (they make their way chopped up to youtube) is literally titled "are you a 25 year old loner?"-- https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg
- CodeSgt 4y ago
  I have no idea why you're getting downvoted. I don't really consider myself to be a "gamer" but I stumbled across that channel myself a few months ago and it's incredible. Definitely not going to solve all of OP's problems, but it can help. That guy is incredibly insightful and knowledgeable.
- mdrzn 4y ago
  +1 for HealthyGamerGG's YT channel. Might seems like a "generic self help" channel, but Dr K. is really putting the work in to listen and help his audience, mostly young gamers.
franze 4y ago
Finding good therapist can be really hard. What helped me at one point were the video call therapy apps (quite a few of them in the app store, different one per market.) they do not substitute real therapy, but they help you getting into the therapy mindset where you are then motivated - and strong enough- to find a godd therapist.
- Overtonwindow 4y ago
  ++ for therapy. Finding a therapist is all about you, not them. YOU must feel comfortable with them, if not, find another one. YOU control the direction of the therapy, it's YOUR life. It takes time in therapy, to build trust and to open up, but once you do it will be very beneficial.
WheelsAtLarge 4y ago
Agree, I've found over the years that whatever professional service you seek rarely will you find the right person the first try. Specially if you need someone over the long term. OP, your post is the starting point. Now you'll need to seek a professional that can help you. I would also seek a support group the meets regularly and VERY important, start a diary where you can write down what you are feeling and what you think will help you fix it. Do it at least once a week. Specially when you are having the strongest feelings. This will help you articulate what you are feeling so you can discuss it with some one else. Keep in mind that being alone is a nice feeling for you but that does not mean it has to be 100% of the time. Think about it in terms of sweets. Most of us love sweets but we would never change our live so that we only eat sweets.
btown 4y ago
> a specific type of life partner A piece of advice that I found quite inspiring was: "Even if you don't believe yourself to be in a place where you'd be a good partner or friend, there are others who may think that you're exactly what they need. And they should get the chance to make that decision for themselves!" From personal experience, it's nonetheless tough to go from this mindset into putting it into practice - so I wholeheartedly recommend making therapy part of the solution! And don't be afraid to shop for therapists - just because you don't click with one, doesn't mean you won't click with the next.

by akeck 4y ago

coward20222023 4y ago

Short of a therapist, OP could also checkout out HealthyGamer community - Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG - Discord: https://www.healthygamer.gg/community https://www.healthygamer.gg/community edit. I don't use twitch but their 1st video rn (they make their way chopped up to youtube) is literally titled "are you a 25 year old loner?"-- https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg

CodeSgt 4y ago
I have no idea why you're getting downvoted. I don't really consider myself to be a "gamer" but I stumbled across that channel myself a few months ago and it's incredible. Definitely not going to solve all of OP's problems, but it can help. That guy is incredibly insightful and knowledgeable.
mdrzn 4y ago
+1 for HealthyGamerGG's YT channel. Might seems like a "generic self help" channel, but Dr K. is really putting the work in to listen and help his audience, mostly young gamers.

franze 4y ago

Finding good therapist can be really hard. What helped me at one point were the video call therapy apps (quite a few of them in the app store, different one per market.) they do not substitute real therapy, but they help you getting into the therapy mindset where you are then motivated - and strong enough- to find a godd therapist.

Overtonwindow 4y ago
++ for therapy. Finding a therapist is all about you, not them. YOU must feel comfortable with them, if not, find another one. YOU control the direction of the therapy, it's YOUR life. It takes time in therapy, to build trust and to open up, but once you do it will be very beneficial.

WheelsAtLarge 4y ago

Agree, I've found over the years that whatever professional service you seek rarely will you find the right person the first try. Specially if you need someone over the long term. OP, your post is the starting point. Now you'll need to seek a professional that can help you. I would also seek a support group the meets regularly and VERY important, start a diary where you can write down what you are feeling and what you think will help you fix it. Do it at least once a week. Specially when you are having the strongest feelings. This will help you articulate what you are feeling so you can discuss it with some one else. Keep in mind that being alone is a nice feeling for you but that does not mean it has to be 100% of the time. Think about it in terms of sweets. Most of us love sweets but we would never change our live so that we only eat sweets.

btown 4y ago

> a specific type of life partner A piece of advice that I found quite inspiring was: "Even if you don't believe yourself to be in a place where you'd be a good partner or friend, there are others who may think that you're exactly what they need. And they should get the chance to make that decision for themselves!" From personal experience, it's nonetheless tough to go from this mindset into putting it into practice - so I wholeheartedly recommend making therapy part of the solution! And don't be afraid to shop for therapists - just because you don't click with one, doesn't mean you won't click with the next.