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Not what you want to hear, but I cut people off my life once their (mostly financial) success vastly surpasses mine. It probably happened ~5-10 times so far. I

Not what you want to hear, but I cut people off my life once their (mostly financial) success vastly surpasses mine. It probably happened ~5-10 times so far. I don’t make the reasons explicitly known, I just start distancing myself, not returning calls/invitations until things fade away. For fairness, I wouldn’t mind people doing that to me and I would fully understand. I recognize it is irrational and sad behavior, but it’s too hard for me to accept people close to me who come into success purely based on luck (strong talent is barely table stake and not a predictor of outsized success). I have ex-friends who joined startups and roles which were no different than the ones I joined, and they made $20M+ while I didn’t have nearly the same outcome. Similar with ex-friends who made bank in crypto. The worst is when they are also not intellectually honest and try to school you on some bs life lessons on how their success was very much planned despite the fact that you took the same exact risks, with the same exact expected rewards, as them.

dnh44 4y ago
It sounds like one of your goals is to make a lot of money (which is fine of course). If that's true then purposely eliminating wealthy (and lucky) people from your social circle seems like an act of sabotage.
- cableshaft 4y ago
  I agree. I know several people that have been much more successful than me in the board game industry, for example, and I've maintained my friendships with those people, and it's lead to some opportunities I might not have gotten otherwise (so far not the success that they've had, but that might happen eventually). Like they've talked to publishers on my behalf and convinced them to set up meetings with me so I can pitch my designs to them, playtested my game designs and gave me useful advice, given me playtester credits on some of their published games, will most likely talk up my games if and when they get published, and I think I might be able to do a codesign with an established designer if I had a bit more time (pretty busy at the moment). Personally I'd still be friends with these people even if they did none of that, I just enjoy their company, but it has had some side benefits as well. Most people in the board game industry are far from 'wealthy', though. I probably make more money than several of these people I'm referring to (but definitely not all), although I'm much less passionate about my current job than they are, so I could still be envious of them (and every once in a while I do feel that way).
techgnosis 4y ago
I'm impressed and pleased that you admitted this on such a public place. I feel a lot of those same feelings and I'm willing to bet a lot of people who read this will too. Humans are emotional animals and what you said smacks of reality. Thanks

dnh44 4y ago

It sounds like one of your goals is to make a lot of money (which is fine of course). If that's true then purposely eliminating wealthy (and lucky) people from your social circle seems like an act of sabotage.

cableshaft 4y ago
I agree. I know several people that have been much more successful than me in the board game industry, for example, and I've maintained my friendships with those people, and it's lead to some opportunities I might not have gotten otherwise (so far not the success that they've had, but that might happen eventually). Like they've talked to publishers on my behalf and convinced them to set up meetings with me so I can pitch my designs to them, playtested my game designs and gave me useful advice, given me playtester credits on some of their published games, will most likely talk up my games if and when they get published, and I think I might be able to do a codesign with an established designer if I had a bit more time (pretty busy at the moment). Personally I'd still be friends with these people even if they did none of that, I just enjoy their company, but it has had some side benefits as well. Most people in the board game industry are far from 'wealthy', though. I probably make more money than several of these people I'm referring to (but definitely not all), although I'm much less passionate about my current job than they are, so I could still be envious of them (and every once in a while I do feel that way).

techgnosis 4y ago

I'm impressed and pleased that you admitted this on such a public place. I feel a lot of those same feelings and I'm willing to bet a lot of people who read this will too. Humans are emotional animals and what you said smacks of reality. Thanks