I think you meant to type this instead of what you actually typed: In a rural area, you had a few beers, you're at 0.07, and your wife has a stroke. The speed

I think you meant to type this instead of what you actually typed: In a rural area, you had a few beers, you're at 0.07, and your wife has a stroke. The speed limit through nowhere is 50 and on the way you plateau at 0.09. You hit my best friend Zain as he is walking home from my house after playing Street Fighter II: Champion Edition on my SNES in the early spring of 1994 and making plans for his 14th birthday. Because, I mean, c'mon it's only 0.09 and the restaurant lobby has bribed the US government into believing that 0.08 is safe even though every single other civilized country ON THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET has set the limit at 0.03 or below and it's not like you can't bake a cake without breaking a few Zains, right? Besides you drive better when you're buzzed EVERYONE knows this who cares what a voluminous body of scientific literature says because fuck you you aren't gonna tell me what to do with my life and I don't give a fuck if Zain dies just because of some bullshit fantasy scenario I made up because I'm the only person who matters in this story, bud you and your friends are just pieces of shit and I don't care if every time you look in the mirror and you see your greying sideburns and wrinkled belly you think about how you're an old man now and your best friend never made it to 14 because 0.08 is safe and nothing you can say can change my mind because YOU'RE A FASCIST and anyone who criticizes my bullshit scenarios with the actual truth can go to hell. Now I'm going to deflect any criticism of drunk driving with "whaddabow tired driving huh, huh, huh?" because not only am I a selfish asshole, I am also such a sniveling little turd that I think that is an appropriate response, so there. I mean what if Jason Bourne himself pulls me over on the side of that dark country road and says "UNLESS YOU CAN DRIVE ME TO THE WHITE HOUSE RIGHT NOW A NUKE WILL EXPLODE" and you've had a couple of glasses of champagne? WTF that scenario is as totally 100% believable as all of the other bullshit I come up with. Try harder next time, Mr. 1984!