3 ms·

I moved away to pursue work and glean a new perspective by meeting people from different cultures and backgrounds than myself. My mother isn’t an easy person t

I moved away to pursue work and glean a new perspective by meeting people from different cultures and backgrounds than myself. My mother isn’t an easy person to get along with and she’s made no effort to improve. Lately she’s become too obsessed with the FoxNews/GOP stuff. Although we haven’t spoken to her, she still sends my wife unsolicited texts and emails containing fairly bigoted, hateful, and just plain dishonest things. My family and I are much better off without her involved.

cpersona 4y ago
It's frustrating and I am sorry it is someone as close as your mother, but I don't think you can talk sense into someone who has replaced their entire persona with hatred. I had to distance myself from one of my best friends. He began doing similar things and despite our friend group making it clear he should stop, he continues to send politically charged and racist materials, this despite him being an immigrant and sending his texts to a group of exclusively first and second generation Americans.
- hollywood_court 4y ago
  You’re correct. There is no changing her. I knew she was racist while I was growing up, but now she has been emboldened by the current political climate. Looking back at the things she said while I was a child, I feel horrible for all of the minorities that had encounters with her while she spent her career as a law enforcement officer. There is no possible way she treated them fairly.
b20000 4y ago
sorry to hear this and thanks for sharing. my mother repeatedly sabotaged and discouraged my projects in life, and would blame anything that went wrong in my career on me. she knew i wanted a company of my own and so when i dropped out of a phd program to finally do it she gave me a little cash to get started but not enough to be able to get anywhere. that has been a recurring situation. don’t say no and help, but then do not offer any encouragement and do just enough so you can’t be blamed. eventually i was able to bootstrap and when we were at a crtitical scaling point and needed support to get to the next level i had to deal with endless shouting and arguing and mental manipulation to the point i made a bad decision and it went under. i still carry the PTSD from that to this day. i have since rebooted the company but everything has changed and it’s been an uphill battle since… i had to move halfway a across the world to distance myself and try to rebuild my career and company. to this day she tries to control me and uses money to do so. i made the mistake of relying too much on my parents financially which further complicates all of this. i wish there were more mental health and support systems specifically for startup founders.

cpersona 4y ago

It's frustrating and I am sorry it is someone as close as your mother, but I don't think you can talk sense into someone who has replaced their entire persona with hatred. I had to distance myself from one of my best friends. He began doing similar things and despite our friend group making it clear he should stop, he continues to send politically charged and racist materials, this despite him being an immigrant and sending his texts to a group of exclusively first and second generation Americans.

hollywood_court 4y ago
You’re correct. There is no changing her. I knew she was racist while I was growing up, but now she has been emboldened by the current political climate. Looking back at the things she said while I was a child, I feel horrible for all of the minorities that had encounters with her while she spent her career as a law enforcement officer. There is no possible way she treated them fairly.

b20000 4y ago

sorry to hear this and thanks for sharing. my mother repeatedly sabotaged and discouraged my projects in life, and would blame anything that went wrong in my career on me. she knew i wanted a company of my own and so when i dropped out of a phd program to finally do it she gave me a little cash to get started but not enough to be able to get anywhere. that has been a recurring situation. don’t say no and help, but then do not offer any encouragement and do just enough so you can’t be blamed. eventually i was able to bootstrap and when we were at a crtitical scaling point and needed support to get to the next level i had to deal with endless shouting and arguing and mental manipulation to the point i made a bad decision and it went under. i still carry the PTSD from that to this day. i have since rebooted the company but everything has changed and it’s been an uphill battle since… i had to move halfway a across the world to distance myself and try to rebuild my career and company. to this day she tries to control me and uses money to do so. i made the mistake of relying too much on my parents financially which further complicates all of this. i wish there were more mental health and support systems specifically for startup founders.