6 ms·

What else do you do with someone who is relentlessly rude?

FeepingCreature 4y ago
It's not that it's wrong (I wouldn't know, I haven't seen any evidence of rudeness, and the description of rudeness in the email seems really weak), it's that it assumes an unwarranted and overreaching position of authority.
- chrisseaton 4y ago
  > position of authority What authority? They can’t force him to not talk to anyone or not Tweet at anyone. He can do whatever he wants. They’re just saying he’s not welcome in their community if he does. It’s their club so their rules.
  - FeepingCreature 4y ago
    Right, I wasn't asserting that they're literally getting Twitter to prevent him from making tweets. I just don't think they should even be attempting to set a rule like that. As you said, they're saying he's not welcome in "their community"; that's the part I think is toxic. A project is not a society. People don't live in Thunderbird. There's a widespread forum rule: "don't import drama." The idea behind it is when you enter a certain forum, you may know people from elsewhere but you leave that context at the door and enter a new context with different rules. I think that ability to codeswitch into and out of social contexts is an important part of common civility, and overbroad declarations like this undermine it.
    - MadcapJake 4y ago
      > There's a widespread forum rule: "don't import drama." The idea behind it is when you enter a certain forum, you may know people from elsewhere but you leave that context at the door and enter a new context with different rules. I think that ability to codeswitch into and out of social contexts is an important part of common civility, and overbroad declarations like this undermine it. That's literally what they are saying: don't import this drama to twitter.
      - FeepingCreature 4y ago
        Let's be honest: if the post had said "don't continue this discussion with members on Twitter against their will, or we will escalate" I would have had a much more subdued reaction to it. If that's what they meant, their word choices were very poor, because that is emphatically not what they said. What they said was "don't interact with anyone involved on any platform in any way."
peoplefromibiza 4y ago
You ask yourself what you have done wrong to upset that person. Because it's the only thing you can control. If you start canceling, you will be cancelled. Look where this brought Mozilla... Do you still trust them? Do people still trust them? They are on the verge of oblivion, I only use Firefox because I do not want to live in a browser mono culture. But I've stopped my donations to Mozilla years ago.
- chrisseaton 4y ago
  > You ask yourself what you have done wrong to upset that person. Some people seem to just inherently be a bit nasty, even if it’s the very first time you interact with them and so nothing you’ve done at all.
  - peoplefromibiza 4y ago
    > Some people seem to just inherently be a bit nasty Those people could think the same thing about you. "amount of nastyness" it's not an internationally recognized standard unit of measure and it depends a lot on culture, status, social class, and a lot of other more subtle things. You can't even imagine how many stereotypes on Italians I have to endure in a normal, professional, conversation with North Americans, who don't even notice that they are doing it. And yet I don't get defensive all the times.
    - jamespo 4y ago
      yeh, it's not all about you fella
    - chrisseaton 4y ago
      If 90% of the community think you’re a jerk then it’s probably you that’s the jerk.
      - peoplefromibiza 4y ago
        Where's the vote? > If 90% of the community think you’re a jerk then it’s probably you that’s the jerk. Or it's a community of Jerks. Proud boys think I am a jerk, for sure.
dingdong123 4y ago
You ignore them, or ban them from communities that you control. You don't try to expand your scope of influence and force other people to do so as well, leave that decision to them!
- chrisseaton 4y ago
  They’re not forcing anyone to do anything. The only power they have is to stop allowing him to use their community spaces.
  - dingdong123 4y ago
    You're right, they don't have the power. But they pretend they do. Read their code of conduct, it is actually insane.

It's not that it's wrong (I wouldn't know, I haven't seen any evidence of rudeness, and the description of rudeness in the email seems really weak), it's that it assumes an unwarranted and overreaching position of authority.

chrisseaton 4y ago
> position of authority What authority? They can’t force him to not talk to anyone or not Tweet at anyone. He can do whatever he wants. They’re just saying he’s not welcome in their community if he does. It’s their club so their rules.
- FeepingCreature 4y ago
  Right, I wasn't asserting that they're literally getting Twitter to prevent him from making tweets. I just don't think they should even be attempting to set a rule like that. As you said, they're saying he's not welcome in "their community"; that's the part I think is toxic. A project is not a society. People don't live in Thunderbird. There's a widespread forum rule: "don't import drama." The idea behind it is when you enter a certain forum, you may know people from elsewhere but you leave that context at the door and enter a new context with different rules. I think that ability to codeswitch into and out of social contexts is an important part of common civility, and overbroad declarations like this undermine it.
  - MadcapJake 4y ago
    > There's a widespread forum rule: "don't import drama." The idea behind it is when you enter a certain forum, you may know people from elsewhere but you leave that context at the door and enter a new context with different rules. I think that ability to codeswitch into and out of social contexts is an important part of common civility, and overbroad declarations like this undermine it. That's literally what they are saying: don't import this drama to twitter.
    - FeepingCreature 4y ago
      Let's be honest: if the post had said "don't continue this discussion with members on Twitter against their will, or we will escalate" I would have had a much more subdued reaction to it. If that's what they meant, their word choices were very poor, because that is emphatically not what they said. What they said was "don't interact with anyone involved on any platform in any way."

peoplefromibiza 4y ago

You ask yourself what you have done wrong to upset that person. Because it's the only thing you can control. If you start canceling, you will be cancelled. Look where this brought Mozilla... Do you still trust them? Do people still trust them? They are on the verge of oblivion, I only use Firefox because I do not want to live in a browser mono culture. But I've stopped my donations to Mozilla years ago.

chrisseaton 4y ago
> You ask yourself what you have done wrong to upset that person. Some people seem to just inherently be a bit nasty, even if it’s the very first time you interact with them and so nothing you’ve done at all.
- peoplefromibiza 4y ago
  > Some people seem to just inherently be a bit nasty Those people could think the same thing about you. "amount of nastyness" it's not an internationally recognized standard unit of measure and it depends a lot on culture, status, social class, and a lot of other more subtle things. You can't even imagine how many stereotypes on Italians I have to endure in a normal, professional, conversation with North Americans, who don't even notice that they are doing it. And yet I don't get defensive all the times.
  - jamespo 4y ago
    yeh, it's not all about you fella
  - chrisseaton 4y ago
    If 90% of the community think you’re a jerk then it’s probably you that’s the jerk.
    - peoplefromibiza 4y ago
      Where's the vote? > If 90% of the community think you’re a jerk then it’s probably you that’s the jerk. Or it's a community of Jerks. Proud boys think I am a jerk, for sure.

dingdong123 4y ago

You ignore them, or ban them from communities that you control. You don't try to expand your scope of influence and force other people to do so as well, leave that decision to them!

chrisseaton 4y ago
They’re not forcing anyone to do anything. The only power they have is to stop allowing him to use their community spaces.
- dingdong123 4y ago
  You're right, they don't have the power. But they pretend they do. Read their code of conduct, it is actually insane.