This is very much true of high density areas. Although there is somewhat of a counter point to your energy and distance scaling. Without infrastructure and law

This is very much true of high density areas. Although there is somewhat of a counter point to your energy and distance scaling. Without infrastructure and laws forcing the worst possible vehicles, it's quite possible to build a comfortable vehicle which will hang on your wall in a bedroom that does 40-80km/h for several hours a day with the only energy input being the sunlight that falls on it and human effort equivent to a brisk walk. Similarly a self sufficient homestead doesn't need those utilities and can sustain a person in surpriaingly little area. We don't have to force the minority who want an actually rural lifestyle to give it up. We just have to apply the same rules and changes that would fix suburbia. A low-input, no-beef, mostly vegetarian homestead with a 2 story cottage that manages its own utilities and has a 2m wide LEV path 10km to the train station is no more unsustainable than arranging those ingredients into some large farms and a large city. It could be a large mostly-native food forest, or an acre of high yield closed system. It would be vastly less labour efficient, but if a household wants to dedicate one member's time to agriculture and domestic labour that's fine.