Perhaps self-sufficiency was a word with too positive connotations; what I meant, of course, was destructive learned mental models such as being too proud to as

Perhaps self-sufficiency was a word with too positive connotations; what I meant, of course, was destructive learned mental models such as being too proud to ask for help or go to a doctor before it’s too late, and not having formed a safety net of close friends because men are not supposed to need them. Additionally, what is often devastating to men in particular is that in nasty divorces, the custody of children is almost always given to the mother.