4 ms·

There's a difference between not forgiving someone and trusting them. Just because you forgive someone for cheating and telling lies doesn't mean you should no

There's a difference between not forgiving someone and trusting them. Just because you forgive someone for cheating and telling lies doesn't mean you should now trust them and forget it ever happened.

rowanG077 4y ago
If you don't trust them yet you have not fully forgiven them. The definition of forgive is to no longer punish someone as you saw it fit to forgive what they did. If you still act differently towards that someone because of an act then you simply haven't forgiven them. You might have accepted the act but that's not forgiveness.
- StanislavPetrov 4y ago
  >The definition of forgive is to no longer punish someone as you saw it fit to forgive what they did. If you still act differently towards that someone because of an act then you simply haven't forgiven them. We fundamentally disagree on the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean wiping clean your memory of the past. For example, I have a friend with a drug problem. This friend has on numerous occasions told lies and has otherwise been unreliable in other ways that drug addicts often are. I have forgiven this person for their transgressions and love them just as much as I love anyone else, and would lay down my life for them without hesitation. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to now simply accept their statements without doubt - I would be a fool to do so despite the fact that I have forgiven then completely for their previous lies and don't judge them, or look down on them, for the previous behavior. For better or worse, we are all the sum of our actions.
  - rowanG077 4y ago
    Then we indeed disagree. In my view that's not forgiveness. That's acceptance. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget the past transgression. It only means you have moved past them and no longer treat the person according to the transgressions. Since you no longer trust your friend you haven't really forgiven them, I'd say.

rowanG077 4y ago

If you don't trust them yet you have not fully forgiven them. The definition of forgive is to no longer punish someone as you saw it fit to forgive what they did. If you still act differently towards that someone because of an act then you simply haven't forgiven them. You might have accepted the act but that's not forgiveness.

StanislavPetrov 4y ago
>The definition of forgive is to no longer punish someone as you saw it fit to forgive what they did. If you still act differently towards that someone because of an act then you simply haven't forgiven them. We fundamentally disagree on the definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean wiping clean your memory of the past. For example, I have a friend with a drug problem. This friend has on numerous occasions told lies and has otherwise been unreliable in other ways that drug addicts often are. I have forgiven this person for their transgressions and love them just as much as I love anyone else, and would lay down my life for them without hesitation. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to now simply accept their statements without doubt - I would be a fool to do so despite the fact that I have forgiven then completely for their previous lies and don't judge them, or look down on them, for the previous behavior. For better or worse, we are all the sum of our actions.
- rowanG077 4y ago
  Then we indeed disagree. In my view that's not forgiveness. That's acceptance. Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget the past transgression. It only means you have moved past them and no longer treat the person according to the transgressions. Since you no longer trust your friend you haven't really forgiven them, I'd say.