3 ms·

Self esteem can be fixed by simple things like being more attractive, more intelligent and/or more popular. We should just use genetic engineering to achieve th

Self esteem can be fixed by simple things like being more attractive, more intelligent and/or more popular. We should just use genetic engineering to achieve these things as soon as possible.

robocat 4y ago
Self-esteem is also influenced by height, colour, gender, ethnic background, religious background, etcetera. OP seems to think not only that good parenting can beat external social influences, but that perfect parenting is simply a matter of deciding to be perfect. OP probably blames parents for all negative psychological outcomes for children: “It's not ‘caused’ by the culture or the environment, but by parenting”.
- Godel_unicode 4y ago
  What you’re talking about is confidence that others will like you, not a sense that you matter. The latter is self esteem, the former is compensating (or perhaps ingroup). If you have a deep sense that you matter and that your value to society comes from who you are, then people being shitty to you because you’re short and the wrong shade won’t prevent you from showing up and taking up space. It’s called _self_ esteem.
  - Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago
    It's called delusion. Your survival and quality of life depends on others liking you so we were selected to optimize for being liked by others. Case in point the Queen Elizabeth died at 96 but given her quality of life in terms of novelty and free luxury stuff of the highest kind (and in all realms ranging from mansions to yachts to castles to planes to jewelery) she lived like 2000 years of a regular person life. All that because she was liked by millions of people (or the institution of monarchy is) Being liked by others is the only thing that matters for quality of life purposes, if you aren't then feeling shitty is a safety mechanism which promopts you to action and to pursue likeability to get some quality of life and not waste the precious little time that you have been given.
Godel_unicode 4y ago
I assume (hope?) that this is tongue in cheek, but it’s worth pointing out that there are tons of insecure people who are also beautiful, intelligent, and popular with their peers. One important thing to realize is that none of those things actually exist; beautiful and intelligent are entirely relative. They can also be sources of friction; people get bullied for being smart, there’s a strong stereotype that beautiful people are actually stupid but that people tell them they’re smart because they’re hot, etc. There’s also the Ivy League problem; when your self esteem is based on being smarter than everyone else and then you get surrounded by other smart people it can tank your self confidence. Self esteem is about realizing that your value is not derived from other’s opinion of you. That’s why it’s called self esteem.

Self esteem can be fixed by simple things like being more attractive, more intelligent and/or more popular. We should just use genetic engineering to achieve these things as soon as possible.

robocat 4y ago

Self-esteem is also influenced by height, colour, gender, ethnic background, religious background, etcetera. OP seems to think not only that good parenting can beat external social influences, but that perfect parenting is simply a matter of deciding to be perfect. OP probably blames parents for all negative psychological outcomes for children: “It's not ‘caused’ by the culture or the environment, but by parenting”.

Godel_unicode 4y ago
What you’re talking about is confidence that others will like you, not a sense that you matter. The latter is self esteem, the former is compensating (or perhaps ingroup). If you have a deep sense that you matter and that your value to society comes from who you are, then people being shitty to you because you’re short and the wrong shade won’t prevent you from showing up and taking up space. It’s called _self_ esteem.
- Bubble_Pop_22 4y ago
  It's called delusion. Your survival and quality of life depends on others liking you so we were selected to optimize for being liked by others. Case in point the Queen Elizabeth died at 96 but given her quality of life in terms of novelty and free luxury stuff of the highest kind (and in all realms ranging from mansions to yachts to castles to planes to jewelery) she lived like 2000 years of a regular person life. All that because she was liked by millions of people (or the institution of monarchy is) Being liked by others is the only thing that matters for quality of life purposes, if you aren't then feeling shitty is a safety mechanism which promopts you to action and to pursue likeability to get some quality of life and not waste the precious little time that you have been given.

Godel_unicode 4y ago

I assume (hope?) that this is tongue in cheek, but it’s worth pointing out that there are tons of insecure people who are also beautiful, intelligent, and popular with their peers. One important thing to realize is that none of those things actually exist; beautiful and intelligent are entirely relative. They can also be sources of friction; people get bullied for being smart, there’s a strong stereotype that beautiful people are actually stupid but that people tell them they’re smart because they’re hot, etc. There’s also the Ivy League problem; when your self esteem is based on being smarter than everyone else and then you get surrounded by other smart people it can tank your self confidence. Self esteem is about realizing that your value is not derived from other’s opinion of you. That’s why it’s called self esteem.