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I wonder how much of that is culture? For example, Dr. Carol Dewek studied kids with "growth mindset". Kids with such a mindset see failure as a path to more g
by hosh 4y ago
I wonder how much of that is culture?
For example, Dr. Carol Dewek studied kids with "growth mindset". Kids with such a mindset see failure as a path to more growth, whereas kids with "achievement mindset" do not.
I also think about things like:
- https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/09/616928895/how-to-get-your-kids-to-do-chores-without-resenting-it https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2018/06/09/6169288... ... Note here that the kids at the ages of 5, 7, etc. discussed in the article, will brag to each other about how helpful they are. However, their parents have been building their skills when they are toddlers and try to be helpful.
- There is an in-depth article about implementing the "old enough to run errands" in America. Again, the author did not just throw their kid out on the street. They invested a lot of time skill-building.
- The Montessori method, which emphasizes developing the capacity to be independent. Failure happens often
- A study on toddlers and babies, and the effects of seeing how long adults struggle on how much they will continue to try something before giving up
- Fred Rogers, commenting on leaving in footage where adults struggle and fail, and things don't go according to plan.
My son is 20 months old, and my wife and I have been incorporating ideas from above. I might show him that it is possible to do something, and let him try (and at times, fail, and learn from the failure). We also prompt him by asking him if he wants help.
Or put it another way: curate the environment, like you would when designing a video game levels to teach how to play, and smoothly increase the difficulty.
- Arrath 4y ago> - There is an in-depth article about implementing the "old enough to run errands" in America. Again, the author did not just throw their kid out on the street. They invested a lot of time skill-building. I often think about the chores and trips I took with my dad growing up, and how he slowly and cleverly worked me up to doing things. For instance when we would stop at a gas station, unless I had to go to the bathroom I had to stay in the car as it was dangerous, I might get hit by a car etc. But I could help by gathering any trash and handing it to him. Then as I got older, I could help by getting out and washing the side mirrors, then the door windows and finally the windshield once I could reach. The genesis really was that it was boring to sit in the car and I wanted to do something, and he capitalized on that. Same thing when we would take the recycling to the drop off point. First I had to stay in the car (you'll note a consistent theme here: I couldn't just stay at home at my leisure while chores were going on) and watch, then I could help with the light things like the cans, then the newspapers, then the glass. ....I'm still salty that I had to mow all 2 acres with a push mower for years and years, and he only bought a tractor with a giant mower deck after us kids moved out, though. The cheeky old bastard.