I haven't programmed in Java in many years, except for making DAGs for Storm and a authorization metalibrary that none of the "real" Java programmers liked. Par

I haven't programmed in Java in many years, except for making DAGs for Storm and a authorization metalibrary that none of the "real" Java programmers liked. Paradoxically the most sccinct statement of dislike concerned my choice of arraylike class: "THAT'S WRONG!". The Java programmers had source control, just like the rest of us. But their Maven configs weren't under source control, and they wouldn't help the rest of us with ours. I've concluded that I'm indifferent to Java, but not so good with Java programmers. There's a big ball of puzzling contradictions in the above. Have you heard of Lacan or Zizek? Well. Poetically speaking, I'll paraphrase Tom Lehrer and opine that "Java programmers must feel like a Christian Scientist with appendicitis". In my opinion: remember that. They've build a lot of ritual around notions of control and deliberativeness (that array problem). They're Catholic or Orthodox, really. The JVM is supposed to be "safe", and I have to ask: does the communion wine really turn to the blood of Christ? My father was a psychiatrist. I am well aware that Dr. Tim Leary was a pioneer in personality diagnosis, having found "The Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality" on my father's bookshelf. I analyzed precinct level voting patterns, and they exist; but the question "is it something in the water, or new car smell?" remains vexing and unsolved. There is something that happens when people program in different languages with different tools, especially in groups. It's not just languages: how does Docker culture compare to NanoVMs on the Leary radar chart? But what I have for you is a (hopefully) playful personality diagnosis of some of the major programming languages. Make some popcorn. This is for entertainment purposes, but maybe it'll give you something to think about. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZyvIHYn2zk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZyvIHYn2zk