That's a good question, I don't really know. I guess I just have a hard time accepting that when I was a teenager, my folks were aware that our uncle (my god fa

That's a good question, I don't really know. I guess I just have a hard time accepting that when I was a teenager, my folks were aware that our uncle (my god father) was 40min away using every day, but as an extended family we'd agreed we were no longer going to be trying to change that. I think it was decided they'd rather him at least out of harms way and at peace than him going back to prison. I'd probably end up the exact same way. I was hospitalized recently and was given hydrocodone for the first time in my life, I begged the doctor not to give it to me again, regardless of my pain levels, because it was the nicest I remember feeling in years and immediately just wanted more and more. Opiates terrify me like nothing else, largely because I know that if the circumstances were different, I'd probably be telling my future god son the same thing, that there's no better feeling on earth. It's absolutely a tall order, maybe even an impossible one. I really don't know what I or my parents could have done differently, I just wish Tim was still here.