5 ms·

Before the pandemic, I used to go out alone on purpose just to meet random people. (I'm married.) I know this isn't for everyone, but I got good at it and I enj

by devin 4y ago

Before the pandemic, I used to go out alone on purpose just to meet random people. (I'm married.) I know this isn't for everyone, but I got good at it and I enjoy(ed) it. I've noticed however, that this is a skill that can atrophy. It's taken me a little while to get back to my old self in public places.

bombcar 4y ago
If you want the best of this eat in the dining car on Amtrak. You will be sat with three others because they can’t have empty seats.
shaftoe 4y ago
I'm curious how this can work. What you're describing sounds impossible. You go to a restaurant: how do you have any kind off conversation beyond maybe a joke to someone in a line? My impression is that people are friendly but not interested in anything beyond pleasantries with a rando.
- OkayPhysicist 4y ago
  If the restaurant has one, sitting at the bar is a pretty solid way to strike up conversations. There's a whole laundry list of mundane conversations starters, like "Whatchya drinking?" (followed by an offer to buy a round, often), or "Know how the X is?" etc. Or restaurants with bench seating (popular amongst pizzerias and German restaurants around here), exchanging a few pleasantries with people sitting next to you sometimes starts a full conversation.
- dvt 4y ago
  If you're at a restaurant and either sitting at the bar or at a communal table, it can be pretty easy to strike up a conversation. I mean sure, not every new connection is going to end up being a lifelong friendship or your soulmate, but exchanging numbers (or more likely, Instagram handles) with people at coffee shops or casual eateries is pretty common. If you're wondering how to start a conversation, a compliment goes a long way.
- californical 4y ago
  I do this sometimes, just have random conversations with strangers. You’ve gotta be able to read their expressions and see if they’re interested. Sometimes people just aren’t in a talking mood, sometimes they are. Maybe just say “hey, what’re you gonna order?” Or something like that, and they’ll react one of two ways: 1. “Oh idk yet” (this means stop talking to me) 2. “Oh well I was looking at the shrimp, but the tofu also sounds good, I usually go for fish… etc etc” (this means keep talking) If they react like #1 (short and not as interested, body language is turned away) then just smile and leave them be, no big deal. Just don’t keep talking at that point or you’ll just be annoying. Nothing personal, they just aren’t in the mood. But a lot of the times, their eyes will light up, they’ll turn towards you, and they’ll tell you some more details like #2. This is where you ask more questions — “Oh, do you come here often? Do you live in the area? What other restaurants do you like? Have you seen the dolphins today?” And from that point, just see where it takes you. Sometimes it’s just a quick 2 minute conversation and you don’t have much in common, so you just say “Ok well I hope you have a great rest of your night!” …But sometimes you get a response like “Oh the shrimp here is good, reminds me of a dish I got in Spain”, and you’ve been to Spain before so you go into more details about that! And it just takes off. You’ve gotta just pay attention and be willing to stop talking if you run out of things to talk about, but sometimes you’ll have a lot in common and be able to dig deeper into shared stories and stuff. Really it just takes practice, but nobody reasonable will be upset if you just kick off a quick chat & know when to stop if they’re uninterested.

by devin 4y ago

bombcar 4y ago

If you want the best of this eat in the dining car on Amtrak. You will be sat with three others because they can’t have empty seats.

shaftoe 4y ago

I'm curious how this can work. What you're describing sounds impossible. You go to a restaurant: how do you have any kind off conversation beyond maybe a joke to someone in a line? My impression is that people are friendly but not interested in anything beyond pleasantries with a rando.

OkayPhysicist 4y ago
If the restaurant has one, sitting at the bar is a pretty solid way to strike up conversations. There's a whole laundry list of mundane conversations starters, like "Whatchya drinking?" (followed by an offer to buy a round, often), or "Know how the X is?" etc. Or restaurants with bench seating (popular amongst pizzerias and German restaurants around here), exchanging a few pleasantries with people sitting next to you sometimes starts a full conversation.
dvt 4y ago
If you're at a restaurant and either sitting at the bar or at a communal table, it can be pretty easy to strike up a conversation. I mean sure, not every new connection is going to end up being a lifelong friendship or your soulmate, but exchanging numbers (or more likely, Instagram handles) with people at coffee shops or casual eateries is pretty common. If you're wondering how to start a conversation, a compliment goes a long way.
californical 4y ago
I do this sometimes, just have random conversations with strangers. You’ve gotta be able to read their expressions and see if they’re interested. Sometimes people just aren’t in a talking mood, sometimes they are. Maybe just say “hey, what’re you gonna order?” Or something like that, and they’ll react one of two ways: 1. “Oh idk yet” (this means stop talking to me) 2. “Oh well I was looking at the shrimp, but the tofu also sounds good, I usually go for fish… etc etc” (this means keep talking) If they react like #1 (short and not as interested, body language is turned away) then just smile and leave them be, no big deal. Just don’t keep talking at that point or you’ll just be annoying. Nothing personal, they just aren’t in the mood. But a lot of the times, their eyes will light up, they’ll turn towards you, and they’ll tell you some more details like #2. This is where you ask more questions — “Oh, do you come here often? Do you live in the area? What other restaurants do you like? Have you seen the dolphins today?” And from that point, just see where it takes you. Sometimes it’s just a quick 2 minute conversation and you don’t have much in common, so you just say “Ok well I hope you have a great rest of your night!” …But sometimes you get a response like “Oh the shrimp here is good, reminds me of a dish I got in Spain”, and you’ve been to Spain before so you go into more details about that! And it just takes off. You’ve gotta just pay attention and be willing to stop talking if you run out of things to talk about, but sometimes you’ll have a lot in common and be able to dig deeper into shared stories and stuff. Really it just takes practice, but nobody reasonable will be upset if you just kick off a quick chat & know when to stop if they’re uninterested.