4 ms·

Huh? If you are short, then literally nothing else matters. Sure women take other (like social) cues to judge desirability, but short men are just not considere

Huh? If you are short, then literally nothing else matters. Sure women take other (like social) cues to judge desirability, but short men are just not considered equal when it comes to physical attractiveness. There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women.

toomuchtodo 4y ago
> There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Age.
- Koshkin 4y ago
  The age difference, rather. (Measured not in years but in percents. 15% max is a good rule of thumb.)
  - toomuchtodo 4y ago
    Not true, it's not the delta but specific age. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/ https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-d... (control-f "How Age Affects Online-Dating Desirability Among Heterosexual Men and Women") https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/ElYAU3S0hhWWdqoxqv-4DRi1rwU=/0x0:751x802/655x699/media/img/posts/2018/08/Screen_Shot_2018_08_09_at_2.52.05_PM/original.png https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/ElYAU3S0hhWWdqoxqv-4DRi1... https://archive.ph/Bhwhe https://archive.ph/Bhwhe (https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8cabacdf5 https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8...) https://archive.ph/dHvWf https://archive.ph/dHvWf (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-men-women-age.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-...) https://archive.ph/HqHNr https://archive.ph/HqHNr (https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap9815.full.pdf https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap981...)
nonasktell 4y ago
No you just have have a crappy personality. Being unattractive to idiots is not an issue. >There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Obesity, smell, creepiness, being disfigured, in a wheelchair.
- yazzku 4y ago
  Being a nerd in tech, you forgot about that one.
  - kortilla 4y ago
    Being a nerd in tech is absolutely not a dealbreaker if you are a woman.
yazzku 4y ago
biascheckshorty 4y ago
nightfly 4y ago
I'm like 5'3" and for me the answer is simple: anyone who would consider that a deal breaker isn't worth my time
- Gigachad 4y ago
  That’s ruling out 95% of females immediately.
  - Koshkin 4y ago
    Not where the average height of women is 5’ or less.
- lucaspm98 4y ago
  Unfortunately that is undoubtedly a deal breaker for the vast majority of women. It can be overcome to a certain extent with personality and income, but in an already extremely competitive dating market for men I can understand drastic measures.
  - bigmealbigmeal 4y ago
    I think you're seriously exaggerating here. I'm 5'3" and haven't needed to take 'drastic measures' to find women interested in me, both in real life and online. I would say that the majority of women 5'4" or under don't consider my height a dealbreaker, even if it's a disadvantage (which it definitely is). Yes, taller women are another story, but the average height of a woman in the US is 5'4". So why does my experience differ with the conclusion you've drawn? My guess: I have a pretty good looking face, a reasonably fit body, and I'm a musician. In other words, height excluded, I'm above-average in attractiveness. And that's evidently enough to take away the whole dealbreaker thing, if it existed in the first place. I know it's an n=1, but your statement is so profoundly certain that an n=1 is enough weaken it.
    - koonsolo 4y ago
      I can't upvote your comment enough. There is a lot of negativity in men that have a hard time dating. It's all the fault of some external thing that can't be fixed of course. While in reality, there are plenty of things you can do. I would much rather be a physically unattractive guy than a physically unattractive woman. Women consider so many different traits that it's easier for guys to work on becoming attractive for women.
andrew_ 4y ago
> but short men are just not considered equal when it comes to physical attractiveness. Did a tall person write this? This is horse shit. If you're unfortunate enough to find yourself in a bubble where this fallacy actually applies, get out quickly. Or if this is you, and you're under average height, I'd legitimately suggest seeking counseling to try and overcome the short supply of confidence, perhaps discover the reason why you're projecting this onto yourself. There is an immense supply of people and an incredible variety of tastes.
- p_j_w 4y ago
  There's real research on this. Someone posted this further up the thread: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-effect-of-male-and-female-height-on-a-the-likelihood-of-giving-a-Yes-response_fig1_236670565 https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-effect-of-male-and-f...
  - andrew_ 4y ago
    It's nearly a decade old. Societal and cultural shifts take a lot less time.
    - Decker87 4y ago
      I can't tell if this is sarcasm. Social change can take centuries and I'd argue this trend is moving in the other direction.
      - andrew_ 4y ago
        Clearly you don't follow popular trends. What's popular and desirable changes frequently, and sometimes many times in the course of a year. This includes physical appearances. Social change can happen overnight.
- lovich 4y ago
  I don't know man. I'm significantly taller than a few of my friends who tick off every box that's commonly listed as ideal traits in male partners other than height and they struggle to get a single date while I have random women hit me up while I'm just out shopping. There's a large amount of incredibly shallow men based on all the guys I've become friends or acquaintances with over the years, and I can only assume that women are just as capable of being shallow.
mikerathbun 4y ago
There are many cultures that view just being a woman no matter how attractive or successful as unequal.
- _carbyau_ 4y ago
  While true, this isn't about equality of the sexes. It is about attractiveness within the scope of the sex.
paulcole 4y ago
> There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Race and ethnicity in shambles.

toomuchtodo 4y ago

> There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Age.

Koshkin 4y ago
The age difference, rather. (Measured not in years but in percents. 15% max is a good rule of thumb.)
- toomuchtodo 4y ago
  Not true, it's not the delta but specific age. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/ https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-d... (control-f "How Age Affects Online-Dating Desirability Among Heterosexual Men and Women") https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/ElYAU3S0hhWWdqoxqv-4DRi1rwU=/0x0:751x802/655x699/media/img/posts/2018/08/Screen_Shot_2018_08_09_at_2.52.05_PM/original.png https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/ElYAU3S0hhWWdqoxqv-4DRi1... https://archive.ph/Bhwhe https://archive.ph/Bhwhe (https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8cabacdf5 https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8...) https://archive.ph/dHvWf https://archive.ph/dHvWf (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-men-women-age.html https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/style/dating-apps-online-...) https://archive.ph/HqHNr https://archive.ph/HqHNr (https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap9815.full.pdf https://advances.sciencemag.org/content/advances/4/8/eaap981...)

nonasktell 4y ago

No you just have have a crappy personality. Being unattractive to idiots is not an issue. >There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Obesity, smell, creepiness, being disfigured, in a wheelchair.

yazzku 4y ago
Being a nerd in tech, you forgot about that one.
- kortilla 4y ago
  Being a nerd in tech is absolutely not a dealbreaker if you are a woman.

yazzku 4y ago

biascheckshorty 4y ago

nightfly 4y ago

I'm like 5'3" and for me the answer is simple: anyone who would consider that a deal breaker isn't worth my time

Gigachad 4y ago
That’s ruling out 95% of females immediately.
- Koshkin 4y ago
  Not where the average height of women is 5’ or less.
lucaspm98 4y ago
Unfortunately that is undoubtedly a deal breaker for the vast majority of women. It can be overcome to a certain extent with personality and income, but in an already extremely competitive dating market for men I can understand drastic measures.
- bigmealbigmeal 4y ago
  I think you're seriously exaggerating here. I'm 5'3" and haven't needed to take 'drastic measures' to find women interested in me, both in real life and online. I would say that the majority of women 5'4" or under don't consider my height a dealbreaker, even if it's a disadvantage (which it definitely is). Yes, taller women are another story, but the average height of a woman in the US is 5'4". So why does my experience differ with the conclusion you've drawn? My guess: I have a pretty good looking face, a reasonably fit body, and I'm a musician. In other words, height excluded, I'm above-average in attractiveness. And that's evidently enough to take away the whole dealbreaker thing, if it existed in the first place. I know it's an n=1, but your statement is so profoundly certain that an n=1 is enough weaken it.
  - koonsolo 4y ago
    I can't upvote your comment enough. There is a lot of negativity in men that have a hard time dating. It's all the fault of some external thing that can't be fixed of course. While in reality, there are plenty of things you can do. I would much rather be a physically unattractive guy than a physically unattractive woman. Women consider so many different traits that it's easier for guys to work on becoming attractive for women.

andrew_ 4y ago

> but short men are just not considered equal when it comes to physical attractiveness. Did a tall person write this? This is horse shit. If you're unfortunate enough to find yourself in a bubble where this fallacy actually applies, get out quickly. Or if this is you, and you're under average height, I'd legitimately suggest seeking counseling to try and overcome the short supply of confidence, perhaps discover the reason why you're projecting this onto yourself. There is an immense supply of people and an incredible variety of tastes.

p_j_w 4y ago
There's real research on this. Someone posted this further up the thread: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-effect-of-male-and-female-height-on-a-the-likelihood-of-giving-a-Yes-response_fig1_236670565 https://www.researchgate.net/figure/The-effect-of-male-and-f...
- andrew_ 4y ago
  It's nearly a decade old. Societal and cultural shifts take a lot less time.
  - Decker87 4y ago
    I can't tell if this is sarcasm. Social change can take centuries and I'd argue this trend is moving in the other direction.
    - andrew_ 4y ago
      Clearly you don't follow popular trends. What's popular and desirable changes frequently, and sometimes many times in the course of a year. This includes physical appearances. Social change can happen overnight.
lovich 4y ago
I don't know man. I'm significantly taller than a few of my friends who tick off every box that's commonly listed as ideal traits in male partners other than height and they struggle to get a single date while I have random women hit me up while I'm just out shopping. There's a large amount of incredibly shallow men based on all the guys I've become friends or acquaintances with over the years, and I can only assume that women are just as capable of being shallow.

mikerathbun 4y ago

There are many cultures that view just being a woman no matter how attractive or successful as unequal.

_carbyau_ 4y ago
While true, this isn't about equality of the sexes. It is about attractiveness within the scope of the sex.

paulcole 4y ago

> There's, as far as I know, no such analogous singular deal-breaker trait for women. Race and ethnicity in shambles.