Here's what happened. We were basically spoiled at home; parents showered us with books and tools and trinkets and all sorts of things that were so abundant, we

Here's what happened. We were basically spoiled at home; parents showered us with books and tools and trinkets and all sorts of things that were so abundant, we didn't care about their value and we didn't have any time or attention to devote to them. Grandma babysat on Sundays and showered us with gifts that Mom and Dad wouldn't give: toys, clothing, electronics, and we got unstructured playtime. Our schooling was stable but our extracurriculars were not. I entered Scouting, soccer, religious education, and all sorts of things and I was yanked out of them all, very quickly and unceremoniously. We never got an explanation of why we quit but it wasn't our fault and it wasn't our choice. So me and my sister became accustomed to this inconstancy and nobody cared about our development as well-rounded team players or good citizens. I learned lots of science and technology at my dad's elbow, but what I didn't learn was his work ethic or devotion to family or other masculine qualities like that. What I did was by imitation and mimicry. Mom and Dad served us and did all the chores for us, so laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning was either done by them or not done at all. It wasn't until high school when I joined the band and found camaraderie, a sense of belonging, and achievement; I stuck with the band for all four years and earned awards there. It was a great loss when I graduated and couldn't continue as a saxophonist and I lost all the friends I'd gained. Band didn't really relate to my target career in IT and so it had to fall by the wayside (requiring a very expensive saxophone that the parents were unwilling to purchase, too.) So I entered college with zero extracurricular activities again. I dropped out of college--several times--and I was impelled to accept a decent entry-level IT job during the dotcom boom, which launched a pseudo-career for several years. I was unprepared for that, and so I lost all jobs and I lost everything else too. Being accustomed to quitting and losing made these turns unsurprising but not any less painful. So yeah, if you teach your children to stick around and build skills through hobbies, chores, and activities, then they will thank you for it later. If you continually yank them out of stuff, and treat them like hotel guests or pets, they will not develop a work ethic or an appreciation for the dignity of a job well done, and they will be set up for failure in life. I learned these lessons quite late in life.