3 ms·

Sorry, but you can acknowledge that something is ethical and moral while also acknowledging that the incentives of a system result in some local maximum in the

Sorry, but you can acknowledge that something is ethical and moral while also acknowledging that the incentives of a system result in some local maximum in the happiness of the players involved where a different set of incentives might yield a global maximum that yields a great satisfaction for all parties involved. The best good-faith criticisms of this arrangement of dating have nothing to do with puritanism, misogyny, envy, or selfishness but instead are criticisms that the dating market involved is dissatisfying to most or all involved compared to what it could be.

smoldesu 4y ago
> but instead are criticisms that the dating market involved is dissatisfying to most or all involved compared to what it could be. According to who? You? I know this site's demographics and prejudices, the middle-class heterosexual white male perspective on dating should be worse than it was 50 years ago! Especially here in the US, the notion of the man courting multiple women has been flipped on it's head. Women are getting more cautious, thinking long-term instead of throwing their hopes and dreams into Joe Shmoe with his Bachelors degree and $50,000 of college debt. I'll listen to people whine about morals until the cows come home, but I think Occam's razor would suggest that men simply have less authority in the dating scene now, leading to greater dissatisfaction and mounting resentment towards sex work. It's a childish thing to complain about.
- rngname22 4y ago
  I find your notion that dating 'should be worse' implies dating as a zero-sum game where conditions for one demographic improving necessitates the loss of another group. I disagree with that premise, and none of the 'dissatisfying' parts of dating that I'd say men uniquely experience are necessarily at the benefit of women or some other demographic. And finally I'd not say that the growth of sugar baby style relationships or OnlyFans is primarily at the detriment of men, I'd say it's less than ideal for any gender or group involved. But not really interested in further discussion as it seems like you're more interested in identity politics or looking at things through demographics.

smoldesu 4y ago

> but instead are criticisms that the dating market involved is dissatisfying to most or all involved compared to what it could be. According to who? You? I know this site's demographics and prejudices, the middle-class heterosexual white male perspective on dating should be worse than it was 50 years ago! Especially here in the US, the notion of the man courting multiple women has been flipped on it's head. Women are getting more cautious, thinking long-term instead of throwing their hopes and dreams into Joe Shmoe with his Bachelors degree and $50,000 of college debt. I'll listen to people whine about morals until the cows come home, but I think Occam's razor would suggest that men simply have less authority in the dating scene now, leading to greater dissatisfaction and mounting resentment towards sex work. It's a childish thing to complain about.

rngname22 4y ago
I find your notion that dating 'should be worse' implies dating as a zero-sum game where conditions for one demographic improving necessitates the loss of another group. I disagree with that premise, and none of the 'dissatisfying' parts of dating that I'd say men uniquely experience are necessarily at the benefit of women or some other demographic. And finally I'd not say that the growth of sugar baby style relationships or OnlyFans is primarily at the detriment of men, I'd say it's less than ideal for any gender or group involved. But not really interested in further discussion as it seems like you're more interested in identity politics or looking at things through demographics.