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I used OkCupid back when OkStats (their statistics blog) still existed (and found my wife, though the 9000 km distance made things harder). But what I quickly r
by Semaphor 4y ago
I used OkCupid back when OkStats (their statistics blog) still existed (and found my wife, though the 9000 km distance made things harder). But what I quickly realized, was that by simply not being an asshole, you’d get great response rates.
I’d always see "responds rarely" and then get quick responses almost every time. I was an overweight student. When asked, they usually said that most people don’t even give the impression of having read the profile before sending a message.
I wonder if there is still a dating site nowadays that values depth over swiping pictures left/right (I never used Tinder, didn’t even know people used it for dating instead of hookups until a few years ago), from what I’ve heard OKC went further down the instant gratification route as well.
- dijit 4y agoI have also had better luck by reading and referencing OkCupid profiles. My last relationship lasted 7 years, so it wasn't a terrible match. Going back to look at it though: I put a lot of effort into my messages, maybe 2-3 per day because each message took about 20-30 minutes to craft; but my response rate was about 1:10 and my date rate was ~about 1:100. Maybe one date every 2-3 months is so few that you put a lot of effort into each one and then, likely, come across as desperate, even if you click.
- Semaphor 4y agoMight be a cultural thing, but those numbers all seem high to me. I spent less time on fewer messages and zero dates (but then for me, a date is only a tiny step away from a steady relationship) ;)