3 ms·

Why are 20-somethings lonelier and more sex-deprived than ever?

6 points by fortran77 4y ago

mPReDiToR 4y ago
"Hey, you're attractive, intelligent and funny. Would you like to go out for dinner?" Somehow this phrase is impossible to say to a stranger these days. So little ability to speak, meet, not be offended, say what's on their minds, relate to each other without a meme. Add to that "dinner" is just for old folks and these youths are more likely to go to McDonalds to eat sugar than a place which has fresh fruit and veg delivered on a morning, but then we're into an even deeper hole. What's a date? A few beers and a quick fumble? Join me for a climbing wall, fishing, comicon, new game shopping, night at the theatre, then a meal in a place where there is a wine list, then cabs home and I'll see you again if you enjoyed it. Oh, you want sex tonight? Let's call it coffee and drink it together in the morning. YMMV, of course. This lack of ability to communicate without a device is a real help with our overpopulation issue!
- nyokodo 4y ago
  > our overpopulation issue I’d recommend resisting the debunked Malthusian inclination. The problems we have now are too few people, specifically young people.
  - eurasiantiger 4y ago
    Let’s put a cap on living years.
- bmitc 4y ago
  This seems to be a bit of an old fogy take. Little of what you say is relevant. No one is eating at McDonald's for dates. People ask others out for dinner all the time. At least in my area, I'd wager that most dates are at rather diverse eateries. The reason young people in their 20s and 30s are struggling to meet people is that they are stressed as hell. They've had a shit world dumped on them with continued record high events in economic, social, political, and environmental disasters. They are overworked, stuck alone in shit commutes, expected to train themselves and learn off the job and only perform on the job, and are not respected by employers. That, and everything is off the rails expensive. Everyone with their family and fixed rate mortgage can sit high and mighty while 30 year old professionals still need roommates to be able to afford rent. When I was actively dating and active in social exercise activities, my days were like 9am-1am (continuous, i.e. I sat down to relax for the first time at midnight or 1am), with a huge amount of time taken up by commuting. TLDR: everyone's stressed, everything's expensive, there's no time for anything
superchroma 4y ago
It's good to know that boomers are out there in the comments handing out mediocre advice, just like they did with jobs. "59 year old white male, 30 years of marriage with kids commenting... Get out there, and meet people. Some people stink, some are great!!" Oh, right, that was the problem.
- solarmist 4y ago
  Sure, I mean it’s not wrong, but it is fundamentally out of touch. The problem I have is there isn’t any other suggestion I can think of to replace it with. And I think that’s a big piece of the problem there isn’t a good way to discuss it, except in stereotypes and that doesn’t do more than hint at the real problems.
nyokodo 4y ago
Whatever we do as a society we shouldn’t double down on the things that got us here. We’re overdue for a big collective rethink that shouldn’t ignore the wisdom of past generations that did a much better job.
t0suj4 4y ago
I think this was a problem all throughout human history. All those fertility festivals, arranged marriages, countless sayings to make a couple marry and make kids across cultures are there for a reason. What has changed is life expectancy
dc-programmer 4y ago
Why do these articles never include economic considerations in their analysis? I wouldn’t say culture is entirely downstream of material conditions…but it’s close
sydbarrett74 4y ago
zaptheimpaler 4y ago
A few years of everyone becoming addicted to smartphones and feeds, a narrowing field of when/where it's ok to flirt without serious risk, ubiquitous porn, cities that continually lose safe public spaces and late opening hours where young people can meet, crazy high prices and expectations in school & work, widespread dystopian visions of a future that's even poorer and heading to climate collapse. Throw in a pandemic and 2 years of lockdowns and remote only work so there's even less ways to meet people. Ya this shit is a total mystery huh I wonder why the 20somethings aren't fucking. We can write 500000 blog posts and articles analyzing any given problem but can't actually solve a single one.
fortran77 4y ago
I think the soaring obesity rates have a lot to do with it, too. There are fewer people that are sexually attractive.

6 points by fortran77 4y ago

"Hey, you're attractive, intelligent and funny. Would you like to go out for dinner?" Somehow this phrase is impossible to say to a stranger these days. So little ability to speak, meet, not be offended, say what's on their minds, relate to each other without a meme. Add to that "dinner" is just for old folks and these youths are more likely to go to McDonalds to eat sugar than a place which has fresh fruit and veg delivered on a morning, but then we're into an even deeper hole. What's a date? A few beers and a quick fumble? Join me for a climbing wall, fishing, comicon, new game shopping, night at the theatre, then a meal in a place where there is a wine list, then cabs home and I'll see you again if you enjoyed it. Oh, you want sex tonight? Let's call it coffee and drink it together in the morning. YMMV, of course. This lack of ability to communicate without a device is a real help with our overpopulation issue!

nyokodo 4y ago
> our overpopulation issue I’d recommend resisting the debunked Malthusian inclination. The problems we have now are too few people, specifically young people.
- eurasiantiger 4y ago
  Let’s put a cap on living years.
bmitc 4y ago
This seems to be a bit of an old fogy take. Little of what you say is relevant. No one is eating at McDonald's for dates. People ask others out for dinner all the time. At least in my area, I'd wager that most dates are at rather diverse eateries. The reason young people in their 20s and 30s are struggling to meet people is that they are stressed as hell. They've had a shit world dumped on them with continued record high events in economic, social, political, and environmental disasters. They are overworked, stuck alone in shit commutes, expected to train themselves and learn off the job and only perform on the job, and are not respected by employers. That, and everything is off the rails expensive. Everyone with their family and fixed rate mortgage can sit high and mighty while 30 year old professionals still need roommates to be able to afford rent. When I was actively dating and active in social exercise activities, my days were like 9am-1am (continuous, i.e. I sat down to relax for the first time at midnight or 1am), with a huge amount of time taken up by commuting. TLDR: everyone's stressed, everything's expensive, there's no time for anything

superchroma 4y ago

It's good to know that boomers are out there in the comments handing out mediocre advice, just like they did with jobs. "59 year old white male, 30 years of marriage with kids commenting... Get out there, and meet people. Some people stink, some are great!!" Oh, right, that was the problem.

solarmist 4y ago
Sure, I mean it’s not wrong, but it is fundamentally out of touch. The problem I have is there isn’t any other suggestion I can think of to replace it with. And I think that’s a big piece of the problem there isn’t a good way to discuss it, except in stereotypes and that doesn’t do more than hint at the real problems.

nyokodo 4y ago

Whatever we do as a society we shouldn’t double down on the things that got us here. We’re overdue for a big collective rethink that shouldn’t ignore the wisdom of past generations that did a much better job.

t0suj4 4y ago

I think this was a problem all throughout human history. All those fertility festivals, arranged marriages, countless sayings to make a couple marry and make kids across cultures are there for a reason. What has changed is life expectancy

dc-programmer 4y ago

Why do these articles never include economic considerations in their analysis? I wouldn’t say culture is entirely downstream of material conditions…but it’s close

sydbarrett74 4y ago

zaptheimpaler 4y ago

A few years of everyone becoming addicted to smartphones and feeds, a narrowing field of when/where it's ok to flirt without serious risk, ubiquitous porn, cities that continually lose safe public spaces and late opening hours where young people can meet, crazy high prices and expectations in school & work, widespread dystopian visions of a future that's even poorer and heading to climate collapse. Throw in a pandemic and 2 years of lockdowns and remote only work so there's even less ways to meet people. Ya this shit is a total mystery huh I wonder why the 20somethings aren't fucking. We can write 500000 blog posts and articles analyzing any given problem but can't actually solve a single one.

fortran77 4y ago

I think the soaring obesity rates have a lot to do with it, too. There are fewer people that are sexually attractive.