5 ms·

Not everyone works in such a formal setting. I talk about whatever the hell I feel like at work with colleagues, and they do the same. I honestly cannot imagine

Not everyone works in such a formal setting. I talk about whatever the hell I feel like at work with colleagues, and they do the same. I honestly cannot imagine shutting myself down 8 hours a day like you're describing, it sound like hell.

derefr 4y ago
I don't know about "shutting down"; I'm just too busy at work to think about anything but work. (Maybe it's also a bit that I have ADHD, and know that a 15-minute conversation about non-work subjects, that I actually focus on rather than practicing "active listening" toward, would flush 100% of my built-up mental context for what I was doing down the toilet, and so blow an hours-plus hole in my productivity for the day.) I talk to my coworkers about non-work subjects if we head out for drinks. But at work, I work. Or at most talk about "light subjects" that can fit on top of my mental "stack" without having to pop anything.
_8j50 4y ago
I have been in such environments and believe me not everyone you work with shares the sentiment. I strongly disagreed with the vocal people like you and to avoid my voice affecting my career I shut up. You force your personal stuff on others and they have to endure it, imprisoning them basically. People can't just get up and find another job, nor should they have to. Bottle that shit up for 8hrs, do you really need to talk about yourself during all waking hours or can't find other people (even coworkers) to talk to off work? I am not talking about specific political opinions mind you. This has happened to me in both conservative and very liberal leaning environments. On the former I would have to put so much effort into not saying something about very crude sexual,racial,political,etc... jokes and comments (like managers talking about all the fked up ways they will get their guy trump to win,etc... or else) or for the latter people going on and on about their atheism (I am far from one) explicit sexual stuff, illegal drug use (and they weren't just talking, they were trading and using as well, me knowing this and not speaking up to the law/hr made me culpable just by listening) and this is all in tech don't get me started on other environments. I don't say anything which helps me keep my job miserably and helps my career but also many smart people I wanted to get close to, I couldn't and they would feel alienated because I won't engage with them except I do when it is about stuff I am passionate about: the work!! But they only mention work in passing outside of official channels, I mean I can talk about coding,foss, security 16 hours a day! Haha. But it was terrible if you are not very political, can't just switch jobs and just want to work on stuff you are passionate about and go home. I had to bottle shit up in place of people like you so please be considerate. I have strong views on just about anything and honestly I don't have much to give a shit about outside of work and I think it is the opposite extreme end of "you should only hire people with specific appearance,politics, religion,etc..." when you say "hire anyone despite their politics, religion,race,sex,etc... and let them all talk about their opposing views" you are either activly discriminating against workes in both illegal and immoral grounds or you work in a very toxic and harmful environment where only the few that dominate/lead/manage dictate a heavily biased environment that makes only them comfortable are happy. Do you not see the wisdom in "don't shit where you eat"? 8 hours to work, 8 hours to pursue personal life and 8 hours to rest. That's what most adults get, you should be able to focus on work during work and personal stuff during personal time plus weekend, you get 72hrs/wk for personal stuff and only 40 typically for work. Especially wfh workers have no excuse, watch cnn or fox with someone when you are not on a zoom call lol or get on reddit or your favorite social medial and vent off. Anywhere but work!
- yunohn 4y ago
  Tangential: > 8 hours to work, 8 hours to pursue personal life and 8 hours to rest The 8 hours of personal time are usually spent supporting and enabling the 8 hours of work time. Very little of it is usable for real personal development. This is why people say shutting down at work is difficult, when most of your real life is work.
  - refactor_master 4y ago
    As someone who has taken several language courses after work, I find this very true. Just enduring 2 hours of “personal development” after work is extremely mentally exhausting. You work 8-16, commute, eat, chill a bit, language class 18-20, go home, blank stare because that’s as far as your mental energy reaches now. I don’t have to pretend for the last 4-6 hours or so, like in many other countries, but 8 actual hours of unhinged freedom before bedtime? Nah.
    - _8j50 4y ago
      Well of course you do those things but they are still on your time, eating , chilling a bit,personal development (not worl development) are all personal things and you could chat with someone during your chill tile, before and after language class, have lunch/dinner with them,etc.... you can associate with who you want. You can also go wild in gay club for those 8hrs and no one will tell you different those are your choices. For personal development obligations I don't know about you but I don't have to do those for more than at most one or two months total in a year. If you choose to be a loner like me that's fine just don't use work as a place to fulfill your social needs, or work for a politicial or a religion lol
  - _8j50 4y ago
    I am sorry but I have been adulting a long time and that has not been my experience. Even when I was driving across town and doing 12hr night shifts I still has 2-3hrs a day to watch a move or waste time on the internet. I don't have a social life but if I did I can imagine spending it at bars,clubs, hanging out with people,etc... but my lack of social life is my own problem or choice.

derefr 4y ago

I don't know about "shutting down"; I'm just too busy at work to think about anything but work. (Maybe it's also a bit that I have ADHD, and know that a 15-minute conversation about non-work subjects, that I actually focus on rather than practicing "active listening" toward, would flush 100% of my built-up mental context for what I was doing down the toilet, and so blow an hours-plus hole in my productivity for the day.) I talk to my coworkers about non-work subjects if we head out for drinks. But at work, I work. Or at most talk about "light subjects" that can fit on top of my mental "stack" without having to pop anything.

_8j50 4y ago

I have been in such environments and believe me not everyone you work with shares the sentiment. I strongly disagreed with the vocal people like you and to avoid my voice affecting my career I shut up. You force your personal stuff on others and they have to endure it, imprisoning them basically. People can't just get up and find another job, nor should they have to. Bottle that shit up for 8hrs, do you really need to talk about yourself during all waking hours or can't find other people (even coworkers) to talk to off work? I am not talking about specific political opinions mind you. This has happened to me in both conservative and very liberal leaning environments. On the former I would have to put so much effort into not saying something about very crude sexual,racial,political,etc... jokes and comments (like managers talking about all the fked up ways they will get their guy trump to win,etc... or else) or for the latter people going on and on about their atheism (I am far from one) explicit sexual stuff, illegal drug use (and they weren't just talking, they were trading and using as well, me knowing this and not speaking up to the law/hr made me culpable just by listening) and this is all in tech don't get me started on other environments. I don't say anything which helps me keep my job miserably and helps my career but also many smart people I wanted to get close to, I couldn't and they would feel alienated because I won't engage with them except I do when it is about stuff I am passionate about: the work!! But they only mention work in passing outside of official channels, I mean I can talk about coding,foss, security 16 hours a day! Haha. But it was terrible if you are not very political, can't just switch jobs and just want to work on stuff you are passionate about and go home. I had to bottle shit up in place of people like you so please be considerate. I have strong views on just about anything and honestly I don't have much to give a shit about outside of work and I think it is the opposite extreme end of "you should only hire people with specific appearance,politics, religion,etc..." when you say "hire anyone despite their politics, religion,race,sex,etc... and let them all talk about their opposing views" you are either activly discriminating against workes in both illegal and immoral grounds or you work in a very toxic and harmful environment where only the few that dominate/lead/manage dictate a heavily biased environment that makes only them comfortable are happy. Do you not see the wisdom in "don't shit where you eat"? 8 hours to work, 8 hours to pursue personal life and 8 hours to rest. That's what most adults get, you should be able to focus on work during work and personal stuff during personal time plus weekend, you get 72hrs/wk for personal stuff and only 40 typically for work. Especially wfh workers have no excuse, watch cnn or fox with someone when you are not on a zoom call lol or get on reddit or your favorite social medial and vent off. Anywhere but work!

yunohn 4y ago
Tangential: > 8 hours to work, 8 hours to pursue personal life and 8 hours to rest The 8 hours of personal time are usually spent supporting and enabling the 8 hours of work time. Very little of it is usable for real personal development. This is why people say shutting down at work is difficult, when most of your real life is work.
- refactor_master 4y ago
  As someone who has taken several language courses after work, I find this very true. Just enduring 2 hours of “personal development” after work is extremely mentally exhausting. You work 8-16, commute, eat, chill a bit, language class 18-20, go home, blank stare because that’s as far as your mental energy reaches now. I don’t have to pretend for the last 4-6 hours or so, like in many other countries, but 8 actual hours of unhinged freedom before bedtime? Nah.
  - _8j50 4y ago
    Well of course you do those things but they are still on your time, eating , chilling a bit,personal development (not worl development) are all personal things and you could chat with someone during your chill tile, before and after language class, have lunch/dinner with them,etc.... you can associate with who you want. You can also go wild in gay club for those 8hrs and no one will tell you different those are your choices. For personal development obligations I don't know about you but I don't have to do those for more than at most one or two months total in a year. If you choose to be a loner like me that's fine just don't use work as a place to fulfill your social needs, or work for a politicial or a religion lol
- _8j50 4y ago
  I am sorry but I have been adulting a long time and that has not been my experience. Even when I was driving across town and doing 12hr night shifts I still has 2-3hrs a day to watch a move or waste time on the internet. I don't have a social life but if I did I can imagine spending it at bars,clubs, hanging out with people,etc... but my lack of social life is my own problem or choice.