Been there. I feel for you. What helped me was this. Be single-minded, think about nothing else. Get a pair of running shoes and go running somewhere, preferabl

Been there. I feel for you. What helped me was this. Be single-minded, think about nothing else. Get a pair of running shoes and go running somewhere, preferably nice (a park, a trail). Start very slow, only aim for 10 minutes of more of a jog than a run at first. Slowly increase. Every single day, no matter what, its your top priority. Its supposed to hurt and be uncomfortable and that is to get your mind off your current programming. Exercise has been shown over and over to be equivalent to anti-depressants. As you increase, push a little. It should always be just this side of uncomfortable. At some point, for me at least, and others that have shared the same experience, something just "gives." It may be very emotional, it may be just a huge weight lifted, it may be subtle. For me just breaking down sobbing on the trail was not uncommon. Once you can break down your current programming, you are free to rebuild as you see fit. Try to not compare to others, just think about baby steps you can take to get to where "you" want to be. Good luck and you're not alone.