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I've always been a single child, so I'm used to it. That's only half the truth. Over a decade ago supposed friends turned enemies over a romantic relationship

I've always been a single child, so I'm used to it. That's only half the truth. Over a decade ago supposed friends turned enemies over a romantic relationship involving another supposed friend. Long story short, it hurt a lot and changed my life, one by one I had a fight with those so-called friends, of which not a single one turned out to be a friend. It seems like they were just looking for a reason to end the friendship. So that was really tough to find out that not only the romantic other cheated on me, and even worse what came afterwards, but to lose the social real life network, that existed for 1-2 decades, over laughable things. I tried to find new contacts on Facebook back in 2010. It was a place filled with stupidity and ignorance. I found Google+ where I met like minded people, but no friends. So I live my life without any social contacts except my mother. And I post on platforms like this, but those aren't social interactions. I tried to build a cooking / food sharing group, I have found no one interested. I walked around a lot in town and around in hopes to meet someone new. There were some opportunities but nothing stuck. So yeah, meanwhile I sunk so low that I watch twitch IRL streams for some human component, but those beggars are just trying to exploit that, so I turn it off and play MMORPGs, but the interactions there are... people are rude, inconsiderate, selfish assholes. It seems to me that the bottom feeders of society populate MMORPGs. Back in 1997-1999 that wasn't the case and you had mostly educated and friendly people playing. Games also weren't as predatory. So yeah it hurt to lose the "friends" but nowadays I don't care anymore, it's me who doesn't want to put up with the majority of people out there anymore. One guy, a former "friend" had the nerve to come to me, he was jobless for a very long time and living off social security. In the time that was rough for me and when I reached out to him he just never called back. When he learned that my business took off, there he was again. The first thing he said was "Can you lend me 5€". I said no. Then he said, "If I go now I'm gone for good". I shrugged and closed the door. People suck.

koonsolo 4y ago
So do you want more socializing, or are you OK with your current situation?
gabereiser 4y ago
Please seek help. Living with no social contact will kill you. I’m not joking. We need social interaction at a chemical level. Find your people.
lnsru 4y ago
Let’s have a beer or coffee together. I see, you’re in Euro zone. I am traveling sometimes to the north and south of it. My email is in my profile.
- tluyben2 4y ago
  That’s how I make friends for the past 30 years everywhere as solopreneur and nomad. Just sit in a bar and talk to people; it is surprising how many people stream through that turn out to be long term friends. One of my best clients I met in a bar, my best friend I met in a bar, another client and friend who also is a programmer as long as I am, I met in a bar; I even convinced some people I met who were just on vacation to move country and closer to me. South eu or asian or US bars work better than north eu bars in my experience; more open to talking with strangers. Sometimes it clicks fast, sometimes it takes longer.
  - version_five 4y ago
    I second this - bars and airplanes are good for meeting people because you have some other pretext for being there and an automatic shared experience. Same as work or school would be, just for a shorter time. When I was travelling regularly I would always go to the bar at the hotel or airport - often you end up in a good conversation, and almost always it's with other professionals if you're at a business hotel.
hnfong 4y ago
Not that I recommend MMORPGs as a fix, but I do play WoW classic on-and-off, and some communities there are still fine. A lot of people who play are from the older era (not necessarily 90s, but early 2000s), so presumably the people there might be relatively to your liking. (Do try to get some real help though.. I've been through the negative spiral and it wasn't easy to get out of it... but it can be done, or at least can be in some cases)
dr_dshiv 4y ago
Sounds like a spiral down— where low expectations of other people start to self-fulfill. Social bitterness is toxic — people will avoid it or disrespect it. It’s not your fault, but you should know that there are really good people out there… but bitterness, disappointment, fear and low expectations can make it really hard to develop positive relationships. Many people (not all!) are willing to forgive and forget, so long as you don’t feel the need to dredge up past wrongs, but just focus on having good experiences together. Hope things work out.
- dr_dshiv 4y ago
  This came up in my feed today and it is pretty good. Kurzgesagt on loneliness and friendship. https://youtu.be/I9hJ_Rux9y0 https://youtu.be/I9hJ_Rux9y0

koonsolo 4y ago

So do you want more socializing, or are you OK with your current situation?

gabereiser 4y ago

Please seek help. Living with no social contact will kill you. I’m not joking. We need social interaction at a chemical level. Find your people.

lnsru 4y ago

Let’s have a beer or coffee together. I see, you’re in Euro zone. I am traveling sometimes to the north and south of it. My email is in my profile.

tluyben2 4y ago
That’s how I make friends for the past 30 years everywhere as solopreneur and nomad. Just sit in a bar and talk to people; it is surprising how many people stream through that turn out to be long term friends. One of my best clients I met in a bar, my best friend I met in a bar, another client and friend who also is a programmer as long as I am, I met in a bar; I even convinced some people I met who were just on vacation to move country and closer to me. South eu or asian or US bars work better than north eu bars in my experience; more open to talking with strangers. Sometimes it clicks fast, sometimes it takes longer.
- version_five 4y ago
  I second this - bars and airplanes are good for meeting people because you have some other pretext for being there and an automatic shared experience. Same as work or school would be, just for a shorter time. When I was travelling regularly I would always go to the bar at the hotel or airport - often you end up in a good conversation, and almost always it's with other professionals if you're at a business hotel.

hnfong 4y ago

Not that I recommend MMORPGs as a fix, but I do play WoW classic on-and-off, and some communities there are still fine. A lot of people who play are from the older era (not necessarily 90s, but early 2000s), so presumably the people there might be relatively to your liking. (Do try to get some real help though.. I've been through the negative spiral and it wasn't easy to get out of it... but it can be done, or at least can be in some cases)

dr_dshiv 4y ago

Sounds like a spiral down— where low expectations of other people start to self-fulfill. Social bitterness is toxic — people will avoid it or disrespect it. It’s not your fault, but you should know that there are really good people out there… but bitterness, disappointment, fear and low expectations can make it really hard to develop positive relationships. Many people (not all!) are willing to forgive and forget, so long as you don’t feel the need to dredge up past wrongs, but just focus on having good experiences together. Hope things work out.

dr_dshiv 4y ago
This came up in my feed today and it is pretty good. Kurzgesagt on loneliness and friendship. https://youtu.be/I9hJ_Rux9y0 https://youtu.be/I9hJ_Rux9y0