4 ms·

Glad you made it back from the retreat to tell us the other half of the story. Joking. I'm curious what the answers will be. OP doesn't strike me as oblivious

Glad you made it back from the retreat to tell us the other half of the story. Joking. I'm curious what the answers will be. OP doesn't strike me as oblivious to what an MBA is about, or as a "tech dork with no people skills who sneers at any MBA they meet"... Although I wonder how many hugely successful companies were founded by people like that.

m00x 4y ago
> Remember that we’re only getting 1/2 (at best) of the story here. Glossed over the actual important point. OP is kind of a loser for not just talking to his co-founder and airing his laundry on HN. It doesn't show much emotional maturity on his side.
- cassepipe 4y ago
  When you are faced with abusive people and have not met people like that before or are accustomed to it, you just feel something is wrong but you need to share your feelings and how you see things with others to be sure you are not in the wrong, that the situation is abnormal, plus you're generally afraid of the consequences of speaking to the abusive. Not everybody can handle conflict well and while it is a good skill in life, judging it morally does not help
  - m00x 4y ago
    How, as an adult, have you not learned to determine what is wrong or right for yourself? This isn't objectively wrong or right. This is just something you'd ask your partner first before doing. The CEO might have a good reason to do this, and we have no clue if this is abuse from the CEO or he doesn't trust his partner to see his side.
    - gwnywg 4y ago
      There was a time in my life I worked with somebody who was creating situations similar to the one described by OP. Though in my case all leadership was consisting of people who aimed on creating toxic situations. At the time it felt I was not able to openly name problems with CEO (I actually had a one-on-one with him and pointed problems but was called names). Later CEO was removed by those toxic people, so I did have a point. It does not make me feel that I was on the right side, on the retrospective I think we should have gone a few times and have dinner together to reestablish bond and only then I should have moved to talk about problems. I agree with you that OP should go and talk with CEO, but it might not be the first meeting OP should bombard CEO with prpblems he is seeing...
    - laserlight 4y ago
      > How, as an adult, have you not learned to determine what is wrong or right for yourself? Good to remember that nobody is all knowing, regardless of age or experience.

m00x 4y ago

> Remember that we’re only getting 1/2 (at best) of the story here. Glossed over the actual important point. OP is kind of a loser for not just talking to his co-founder and airing his laundry on HN. It doesn't show much emotional maturity on his side.

cassepipe 4y ago
When you are faced with abusive people and have not met people like that before or are accustomed to it, you just feel something is wrong but you need to share your feelings and how you see things with others to be sure you are not in the wrong, that the situation is abnormal, plus you're generally afraid of the consequences of speaking to the abusive. Not everybody can handle conflict well and while it is a good skill in life, judging it morally does not help
- m00x 4y ago
  How, as an adult, have you not learned to determine what is wrong or right for yourself? This isn't objectively wrong or right. This is just something you'd ask your partner first before doing. The CEO might have a good reason to do this, and we have no clue if this is abuse from the CEO or he doesn't trust his partner to see his side.
  - gwnywg 4y ago
    There was a time in my life I worked with somebody who was creating situations similar to the one described by OP. Though in my case all leadership was consisting of people who aimed on creating toxic situations. At the time it felt I was not able to openly name problems with CEO (I actually had a one-on-one with him and pointed problems but was called names). Later CEO was removed by those toxic people, so I did have a point. It does not make me feel that I was on the right side, on the retrospective I think we should have gone a few times and have dinner together to reestablish bond and only then I should have moved to talk about problems. I agree with you that OP should go and talk with CEO, but it might not be the first meeting OP should bombard CEO with prpblems he is seeing...
  - laserlight 4y ago
    > How, as an adult, have you not learned to determine what is wrong or right for yourself? Good to remember that nobody is all knowing, regardless of age or experience.