Ehhh, could have written this post and nixed the anecdote at the beginning, I feel like that weakened the insight. When you're married, there's certain gives an

Ehhh, could have written this post and nixed the anecdote at the beginning, I feel like that weakened the insight. When you're married, there's certain gives and takes that you participate in. It doesn't make you childish for not crossing a boundary, however arbitrary it is. For instance, my wife enjoys pollinator gardens. No, I do not allow noxious or quick spreading weeds despite how well they work for pollinators, and pull those up when I see them. She doesn't allow servers in the master bedroom closet. I keep her geology equipment in the garage. We've worked out non-negotiable boundaries so that we can stay sane, and created workarounds called compromises. I keep my servers upstairs, she cuts rock slabs in an A/C cooled area in the garage, I weed the flower beds and she plants less aggressive native pollinating flowers. If I were to tell someone about my servers, I might let slip that my wife doesn't let me keep them in my closet. Understanding boundaries in a relationship and compromising is probably one of the most adult things there is.