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I see comments now and then which seem to break HN rules. When I do I report/flag them and they are almost always removed. I'm sure there are comments dang miss

I see comments now and then which seem to break HN rules. When I do I report/flag them and they are almost always removed. I'm sure there are comments dang misses or maybe he and the other moderators think they don't make the cut. I don't claim to know dang's exact reasoning here and I'm sure he's not perfect, but it does seem like you are consistently saying inflammatory things. You say you mean no disrespect and I believe that, but you also said this immediately before: > you must be joking That is disrespectful. I've found though that a lot of people don't realize they are being inflammatory when they use inflammatory language. It's just their natural way of discussing things. There are people who can ignore the flame and not feel anything over those words (myself included), but there are others who are hurt by them, resulting in anger/rage/pissed-off-ed-ness which causes the discussion to deteriorate. It can be hard to go against something that feels so natural, but if you can get the hang of it, it's better for the comments section imo. Edit: and not to forget this > exact which part was rude and insulting? This part for sure (and yes, I did read the comment thread). > Source, your ass?

ChuckNorris89 4y ago
> you must be joking > That is disrespectful. I've found though that a lot of people don't realize they are being inflammatory when they use inflammatory language. Sorry, but how is telling someone they're joking being disrespectful? It's an honest question. These lawyering mental gymnastics to try to nitpick my comments and turn them against me are just unbelievable. > This part for sure (and yes, I did read the comment thread). > Source, your ass? I meant that in a humorous way, not in a hurtful way, that the parent was making stuff up. Didn't mean to insult him. Don't people have a sense of humor anymore? If commenters make stuff up and don't post sources, shouldn't that be pointed out somehow so others also know the truth? That's why I said these things can be subjective if taken out if context and read on their own.
- nabakin 4y ago
  > Sorry, but how is telling someone they're joking being disrespectful? Because you know I wasn't joking. You're saying that what I'm saying is a joke when you know I'm serious. They're not lawyering gymnastics. It's instantly felt by those who read it. It's not a monotone reading and retroactive "hey, that was disrespectful". It hurts immediately after reading those words. > I meant that in a humorous way, not in a hurtful way It may be humorous to those reading and on your side, but is hurtful to the person you're replying to. That's what we're trying to avoid here. There are ways to point things out or make arguments without hurting. Like instead of saying > you must be joking You could say > that doesn't make sense to me Or instead of saying > Source, your ass? You could say > Do you have a source for that? The key here is that anyone can say "your ass" and "you must be joking" but it doesn't make your argument, a better argument. No new claim was made. No new evidence was given. It was only added because it gave you a little high and it gave you that high because it was an attack.
  - ChuckNorris89 4y ago

ChuckNorris89 4y ago

> you must be joking > That is disrespectful. I've found though that a lot of people don't realize they are being inflammatory when they use inflammatory language. Sorry, but how is telling someone they're joking being disrespectful? It's an honest question. These lawyering mental gymnastics to try to nitpick my comments and turn them against me are just unbelievable. > This part for sure (and yes, I did read the comment thread). > Source, your ass? I meant that in a humorous way, not in a hurtful way, that the parent was making stuff up. Didn't mean to insult him. Don't people have a sense of humor anymore? If commenters make stuff up and don't post sources, shouldn't that be pointed out somehow so others also know the truth? That's why I said these things can be subjective if taken out if context and read on their own.

nabakin 4y ago
> Sorry, but how is telling someone they're joking being disrespectful? Because you know I wasn't joking. You're saying that what I'm saying is a joke when you know I'm serious. They're not lawyering gymnastics. It's instantly felt by those who read it. It's not a monotone reading and retroactive "hey, that was disrespectful". It hurts immediately after reading those words. > I meant that in a humorous way, not in a hurtful way It may be humorous to those reading and on your side, but is hurtful to the person you're replying to. That's what we're trying to avoid here. There are ways to point things out or make arguments without hurting. Like instead of saying > you must be joking You could say > that doesn't make sense to me Or instead of saying > Source, your ass? You could say > Do you have a source for that? The key here is that anyone can say "your ass" and "you must be joking" but it doesn't make your argument, a better argument. No new claim was made. No new evidence was given. It was only added because it gave you a little high and it gave you that high because it was an attack.
- ChuckNorris89 4y ago