4 ms·

How jokes are reacted to. Jokes can be unfunny or tasteless, but when someone argues big concepts that a joke must not be made, its a big red flag.

tornadofart 4y ago
All within reason, I assume? Or would you be OK with jokes about skin color and such? I'm not humoring you, I'm genuinely interested in your answer.
- Mashimo 4y ago
  "I don't need sunscreen, I'm so pale I just reflect the sun light" Easy joke based on my skin color :P
- PointlessLogin 4y ago
  > would you be OK with jokes about skin color and such? No, I'd never take the piss like that..... not even out of gingers. (BTW: Quality piss taking is expected in the UK, to the extent a US HR department would probably have a fit, and probably the moderators of this US dominated forum for the above joke!)
- blueflow 4y ago
  You can make sexist or racist jokes as you want if you are the butt of the joke yourself. It still makes other people laugh.
  - tornadofart 4y ago
    If we can agree on 'knowing the difference between jokes and harrassment / mobbing' then I'm with you on this. It's all about context. 'Just a prank / joke' is too often an excuse for things that are actually worse.
  - polotics 4y ago
    the problem with that is lack of culture in the recipient, for example most of my peers would be very confused with the W word, ie. "Whitey" from Giles Scott Heron's "Whitey on the noon"...
- DharmaPolice 4y ago
  >Or would you be OK with jokes about skin color I would, although as with everything it's context dependent. My boss is African and has on more than one occasion got my name mixed up with another colleague (we're white). In a meeting he did it again, realised his mistake and was on the verge of saying something but caught himself. I offered in mock outrage - "Well, all white people look alike - is that it?" to which he burst out laughing as that was exactly what he was going to say. But that kind of humour (whether it's funny or not) is not at anyone's expense. It also took place between colleagues who have worked together for years now and in a setting we're reasonably sure no-one is going to take offence.
donw 4y ago
Exactly. The difference between a joke and bullying is that if it's a joke, the mark gets a laugh out of it as well. Also that the honor of being the mark rotates around the group somewhat fairly. If you're either never the butt of the joke, or always the butt of the joke, you know that the people around you either don't respect or trust you.
- lrvick 4y ago
  When I -stop- finding silly things to make fun of people for, then they know I am actually upset at them.
- hk__2 4y ago
  > The difference between a joke and bullying is that if it's a joke, the mark gets a laugh out of it as well. Not really. You never know if they genuinely laugh or if it’s a way to attenuate the group pressure they’re the victime of.
lrvick 4y ago
At an old office we had a bit of a meme around yomamma jokes. They were always nonsensical and certainly not graphic or directed at any actual mothers but one person randomly got super mad about it and complained to upper management and such jokes were explicitly banned on company property. Then the nerf guns were banned. Then all lights had to be on 100% migrane inducing brightness. Then all desks had to be clean and free of any non-essential objects. Most of engineering quit around that point.
hk__2 4y ago
And conversely when someone argues big concepts ("freedom of speech", etc) to continue making tasteless jokes that people don’t enjoy.

tornadofart 4y ago

All within reason, I assume? Or would you be OK with jokes about skin color and such? I'm not humoring you, I'm genuinely interested in your answer.

Mashimo 4y ago
"I don't need sunscreen, I'm so pale I just reflect the sun light" Easy joke based on my skin color :P
PointlessLogin 4y ago
> would you be OK with jokes about skin color and such? No, I'd never take the piss like that..... not even out of gingers. (BTW: Quality piss taking is expected in the UK, to the extent a US HR department would probably have a fit, and probably the moderators of this US dominated forum for the above joke!)
blueflow 4y ago
You can make sexist or racist jokes as you want if you are the butt of the joke yourself. It still makes other people laugh.
- tornadofart 4y ago
  If we can agree on 'knowing the difference between jokes and harrassment / mobbing' then I'm with you on this. It's all about context. 'Just a prank / joke' is too often an excuse for things that are actually worse.
- polotics 4y ago
  the problem with that is lack of culture in the recipient, for example most of my peers would be very confused with the W word, ie. "Whitey" from Giles Scott Heron's "Whitey on the noon"...
DharmaPolice 4y ago
>Or would you be OK with jokes about skin color I would, although as with everything it's context dependent. My boss is African and has on more than one occasion got my name mixed up with another colleague (we're white). In a meeting he did it again, realised his mistake and was on the verge of saying something but caught himself. I offered in mock outrage - "Well, all white people look alike - is that it?" to which he burst out laughing as that was exactly what he was going to say. But that kind of humour (whether it's funny or not) is not at anyone's expense. It also took place between colleagues who have worked together for years now and in a setting we're reasonably sure no-one is going to take offence.

donw 4y ago

Exactly. The difference between a joke and bullying is that if it's a joke, the mark gets a laugh out of it as well. Also that the honor of being the mark rotates around the group somewhat fairly. If you're either never the butt of the joke, or always the butt of the joke, you know that the people around you either don't respect or trust you.

lrvick 4y ago
When I -stop- finding silly things to make fun of people for, then they know I am actually upset at them.
hk__2 4y ago
> The difference between a joke and bullying is that if it's a joke, the mark gets a laugh out of it as well. Not really. You never know if they genuinely laugh or if it’s a way to attenuate the group pressure they’re the victime of.

lrvick 4y ago

At an old office we had a bit of a meme around yomamma jokes. They were always nonsensical and certainly not graphic or directed at any actual mothers but one person randomly got super mad about it and complained to upper management and such jokes were explicitly banned on company property. Then the nerf guns were banned. Then all lights had to be on 100% migrane inducing brightness. Then all desks had to be clean and free of any non-essential objects. Most of engineering quit around that point.

hk__2 4y ago

And conversely when someone argues big concepts ("freedom of speech", etc) to continue making tasteless jokes that people don’t enjoy.