4 ms·

I try to avoid strangers. If I was a janitor I wouldn't want people bothering me, especially because they feel bad for me or they feel guilty. You shouldn't be

by _8j50 4y ago

I try to avoid strangers. If I was a janitor I wouldn't want people bothering me, especially because they feel bad for me or they feel guilty. You shouldn't be rude and I have no problem with and do nod/smile at cleaning/security/service staff but I am not good at smalltalk or whatever so I treat everyone the same and ignore people unless I know them and have something to talk about. I really dislike insincere or forced displays of kindness although one should force themselves to be polite when appropriate if it doesn't come naturally.

jiggywiggy 4y ago
Yeah it feels kind of condescending the way it's written. However if it's not forced it's just the most natural to be kind to strangers, service role or note. And you are kinda an a** if you are rude to random strangers, just they way the wrote it is awful.
minimilian 4y ago
- cyborgx7 4y ago
  ?
- rocqua 4y ago
  It seems to be a result of they as a gender neutral singular pronoun. Which has a long history. Here oneself also works, perhaps even is more correct, but with the increased prominence of them as a singular pronoun, I can see why people write it like this.
  - minimilian 4y ago
  - implements 4y ago
    Hesitates to venture that "more correct" isn't itself great English ... :)
    - rocqua 4y ago
      I prefer it over correcter, and happen to believe there are various degrees of correct.
      - implements 4y ago
        Grammar purists consider “correct” to be an absolute non-gradable adjective, I believe - though colloquially have at it and do whatever suits your written voice. I only mentioned it in contrast to the insistence that, er, one should use one rather than them - which to my written voice is a tad too formal.
- _8j50 4y ago
  I use grammarly to avoid citations from the grammar police like this for professional writing but not for HN. You understood what I meant so since this is a comments section keep the policing and unsolicited advice to oneself.
  - minimilian 4y ago
    You're welcome.
yosito 4y ago
Yep. I live in a city and see thousands of people every day. Just because I don't talk to or notice most of them doesn't mean a thing about their value as human beings. I was expecting this article to have some kind of lesson about how sometimes the people we look down on can surprise us, so we shouldn't be so quick to judge. But instead it was basically a condescending humble brag about being nice to people seen as lower than you.
mrweasel 4y ago
The weird part for me is that people don't say good morning for instance. I can see small-talk not being appropriate in many situations, and it's just stealing peoples time. It's the lack of acknowledgement I find weird. As you say, just a smile and or nod, that's fine. I'd have to force myself pretty hard to ignore anyone when coming into the office in the morning. It's not forced politeness or insincere, is it what you do. Then if people need to talk, and you have the time, which most of us honestly do, take a few minutes to listen. To me that's at absolute baseline for decent behavior.
- benj111 4y ago
  I'm guessing you don't come from a big city? I find the more rural you get, the more people will actually interact. Here in the UK there's a definite north south divide too. Relevant: https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4 https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4
  - mrweasel 4y ago
    I do not, I didn't mean out in the general public though. I was thinking more at work, in shops, getting on the bus, things like that. I can see the issue in large scale, no point in saying good morning to everyone you meet if you work in a New York skyscraper, that would take all day and be sort of weird.
    - _8j50 4y ago
      If I engaging with you I will say hi or good morning or whatever but not because you exist in a store I am also in for example.
  - _8j50 4y ago
    I've had rural people get offended for not starting smalltalk at a dmv line.
  - b112 4y ago
    This video is literal in a way. When I moved from a small town (1200 people, largest village in my county) to the city, people gave me really weird looks when I waved and said hi, when passing them in the street. Definitely different. Had to get used to that fast. Reminds me of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvUxIaD-cY https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvUxIaD-cY
magicalhippo 4y ago
I always greet the cleaning staff, janitor or similar. Might just be nod if they're wearing headphones, otherwise I'll say hi. I try to avoid smalltalk unless they initiate though. Nothing forced though. I greet my colleagues, they provide a valuable service, so they're equal in that regard.

by _8j50 4y ago

jiggywiggy 4y ago

Yeah it feels kind of condescending the way it's written. However if it's not forced it's just the most natural to be kind to strangers, service role or note. And you are kinda an a** if you are rude to random strangers, just they way the wrote it is awful.

minimilian 4y ago

cyborgx7 4y ago
?
rocqua 4y ago
It seems to be a result of they as a gender neutral singular pronoun. Which has a long history. Here oneself also works, perhaps even is more correct, but with the increased prominence of them as a singular pronoun, I can see why people write it like this.
- minimilian 4y ago
- implements 4y ago
  Hesitates to venture that "more correct" isn't itself great English ... :)
  - rocqua 4y ago
    I prefer it over correcter, and happen to believe there are various degrees of correct.
    - implements 4y ago
      Grammar purists consider “correct” to be an absolute non-gradable adjective, I believe - though colloquially have at it and do whatever suits your written voice. I only mentioned it in contrast to the insistence that, er, one should use one rather than them - which to my written voice is a tad too formal.
_8j50 4y ago
I use grammarly to avoid citations from the grammar police like this for professional writing but not for HN. You understood what I meant so since this is a comments section keep the policing and unsolicited advice to oneself.
- minimilian 4y ago
  You're welcome.

yosito 4y ago

Yep. I live in a city and see thousands of people every day. Just because I don't talk to or notice most of them doesn't mean a thing about their value as human beings. I was expecting this article to have some kind of lesson about how sometimes the people we look down on can surprise us, so we shouldn't be so quick to judge. But instead it was basically a condescending humble brag about being nice to people seen as lower than you.

mrweasel 4y ago

The weird part for me is that people don't say good morning for instance. I can see small-talk not being appropriate in many situations, and it's just stealing peoples time. It's the lack of acknowledgement I find weird. As you say, just a smile and or nod, that's fine. I'd have to force myself pretty hard to ignore anyone when coming into the office in the morning. It's not forced politeness or insincere, is it what you do. Then if people need to talk, and you have the time, which most of us honestly do, take a few minutes to listen. To me that's at absolute baseline for decent behavior.

benj111 4y ago
I'm guessing you don't come from a big city? I find the more rural you get, the more people will actually interact. Here in the UK there's a definite north south divide too. Relevant: https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4 https://youtu.be/PT0ay9u1gg4
- mrweasel 4y ago
  I do not, I didn't mean out in the general public though. I was thinking more at work, in shops, getting on the bus, things like that. I can see the issue in large scale, no point in saying good morning to everyone you meet if you work in a New York skyscraper, that would take all day and be sort of weird.
  - _8j50 4y ago
    If I engaging with you I will say hi or good morning or whatever but not because you exist in a store I am also in for example.
- _8j50 4y ago
  I've had rural people get offended for not starting smalltalk at a dmv line.
- b112 4y ago
  This video is literal in a way. When I moved from a small town (1200 people, largest village in my county) to the city, people gave me really weird looks when I waved and said hi, when passing them in the street. Definitely different. Had to get used to that fast. Reminds me of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvUxIaD-cY https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvUxIaD-cY

magicalhippo 4y ago

I always greet the cleaning staff, janitor or similar. Might just be nod if they're wearing headphones, otherwise I'll say hi. I try to avoid smalltalk unless they initiate though. Nothing forced though. I greet my colleagues, they provide a valuable service, so they're equal in that regard.