Well thanks for offering your experience at least -- I've updated the post to at least list some of the alternatives. Self-hosting is the end-goal but it looks

Well thanks for offering your experience at least -- I've updated the post to at least list some of the alternatives. Self-hosting is the end-goal but it looks like the in-between is still murky as well. Maybe what it really takes is people springing up to fill the gaps of a closer-to-self-host solution (so you have full control) w/ deliverability auto-solved (automatic purchase of some external relay or something). Like a service that purchases a VPS in your name, sets it up, then essentially disconnects (or offers to manage the service for a fee). Of course there's stuff out there like Cloudron etc so maybe that's part of the way forward as well -- but I wonder if Cloudron could ever really reach a completely non-technical user.