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> for the record my “offense” was saying “Are you for real?” when they screwed up It's really not hard to just not be a jerk, even when someone else has made a

by TillE 4y ago

> for the record my “offense” was saying “Are you for real?” when they screwed up It's really not hard to just not be a jerk, even when someone else has made a mistake. Just be kind. Or at the very least, be calm and factual and nothing else. It makes everyone's lives a little better, including your own.

FullyFunctional 4y ago
Hindsight is so easy and I wanted to apologize, but wasn’t allowed. It was certainly taken as more offensive than I had intended and I realized that, but too late.
userbinator 4y ago
It says a lot that you perceive such a short and IMHO well-deserved expression of frustration as "being a jerk". If I was on the receiving end of that, I would only apologise as being the one at fault. That's what defuses the situation instead of aggravating it. It makes everyone's lives a little better, including your own. No it doesn't. This "forced positivity" is far worse in the long term.
- acdha 4y ago
  Another way of thinking about it: Homebrew is a volunteer project which tons of people depend on for work but don't contribute to. If the volunteers get a ton of low-value comments from people who are talking like they have a support contract, blocking those people is a way of protecting the volunteers. I may not like it as the ideal outcome but I prefer that maintainers don't burn out, too.
  - userbinator 4y ago
    In other words, you're saying those volunteers are just in it for their own gratification, which explains very well the attitude they treat everyone else with. Blocking only encourages further polarisation and animosity. There is nothing to "protect" but their own fragile egos.
    - acdha 4y ago
      No, I’m saying that being mean to volunteers is never a good move. If you want to have influence on a project, roll up your sleeves and contribute - and still be polite, nobody is getting paid to deal with rude people.
      - userbinator 4y ago
        Once again, I do not think that is "rude" AT ALL! Their fucked-up sense of perception is at fault here. I really wonder how such people can live their lives with such thin skin.

by TillE 4y ago

FullyFunctional 4y ago

Hindsight is so easy and I wanted to apologize, but wasn’t allowed. It was certainly taken as more offensive than I had intended and I realized that, but too late.

userbinator 4y ago

It says a lot that you perceive such a short and IMHO well-deserved expression of frustration as "being a jerk". If I was on the receiving end of that, I would only apologise as being the one at fault. That's what defuses the situation instead of aggravating it. It makes everyone's lives a little better, including your own. No it doesn't. This "forced positivity" is far worse in the long term.

acdha 4y ago
Another way of thinking about it: Homebrew is a volunteer project which tons of people depend on for work but don't contribute to. If the volunteers get a ton of low-value comments from people who are talking like they have a support contract, blocking those people is a way of protecting the volunteers. I may not like it as the ideal outcome but I prefer that maintainers don't burn out, too.
- userbinator 4y ago
  In other words, you're saying those volunteers are just in it for their own gratification, which explains very well the attitude they treat everyone else with. Blocking only encourages further polarisation and animosity. There is nothing to "protect" but their own fragile egos.
  - acdha 4y ago
    No, I’m saying that being mean to volunteers is never a good move. If you want to have influence on a project, roll up your sleeves and contribute - and still be polite, nobody is getting paid to deal with rude people.
    - userbinator 4y ago
      Once again, I do not think that is "rude" AT ALL! Their fucked-up sense of perception is at fault here. I really wonder how such people can live their lives with such thin skin.